" ... won't finish this quote correctly."

"A long time ago..."

"...someone did something which caused something else to happen. I don't remember the details."

"The only way..."

"...forwards is to lift your feet of the ground"

"Back in my day chocolate bars..."

"... only cost 25 cents, and my parents still said they cost too much."

"Never forget this: ..."

"...wait...I forgot what I was going to say."

"Like my daddy always used to say: "

"shut up."

"One man's treasure..."

"...was stolen by pirates and buried on a deserted island. Which is why I prefer checking accounts over treasure chests."

"Drink and be merry..."

"... but don't eat an apple from that tree."

"The moral of the story is..."

"...completely lost on me. But it was funny, though."

"Fast, good, inexpensive..."

"...they may all be true but doesnt mean you have to talk about my momma that way."

"Judge not..."

"... lest ye be proven a total idiot."

"First one to the top..."

"...first one to get pushed off."

"You most construct additional pylons..."

"... to mark off construction areas"

"Once I was great..."

"...now I'm like, decent, at the most."

"Alas, poor Yorick..."

"...he didn't go well with that cheese."

"It's not a question of where it grips it..."

"...but of how the octopus got a hatchet in the first place"

"To sleep perchance to..."

"... hear my alarm clock so I'm not late for work again."

"It was an odd looking vine..."

"...because it certainly wasn't even."

"Teach a man to fish..."

"...and you can start selling him fishing gear."

"Float like a butterfly..."

"fall off the roof because you thought you were a butterfly for some reason and you mistook some sort of prancing around for "floating". This unfortunately led to some poor decisions involving experimentation that led to this unfortunate series of events.."

"How many roads must a man go down, before...."