A project I've been working on for a little over a year. A house fire consumed much of the story and I had to start over. I figured I'd post the prologue for some comments.

On the surface: It's a zombie apocalypse story. FUN!

A little deeper:

Some issues I'm having:

Anyway...hope you enjoy...I have partial chapters and a basic storyline drawn out too, may post them later.

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"So, the two of you really didn't put up much of a fight did you?" Two men, bound and kneeling on the floor watched the figure from across a circular room. "I expected more out of you. Often, when I hunt that is, the prey is more wiley....even spritely in some instances. They flit from here and there and almost seem happy in the chase."
A tiny sob escaped the man on the right. The left hand man seemed resolute, intent on his assured survival of the situation. "You. You seem pretty assured of yourself. Why is that?" The figure addressed the man on the left.
"I will be King one day. You pose no threat to me, I know I will escape here. My fate has been determined. I will bring justice to this land and no other but I could do it."
"Incredible. Truly incredible. I was not aware I detained the future King. I just saw an air about you which was undeniable. I've never killed one as resolute and noble as you. Usually I'm butchering those more like him." The figure gestured to the man on the right. The man promptly began bawling loudly.
"Please!" The man yelled through sharp intakes of breath. "Please, I have a family! Let me go, I won't tell anyone what's happened!"
"Well now, that won't be any fun will it?" The figure replied. He leaned menacingly down toward the sobbing man while brandishing a crude knife.
"Stop!" The resolute man yelled with such authority that the figure had no choice but to comply and direct his attention toward him. "Do not harm that man. You can still redeem yourself and correct this situation. If you must have a hostage, hold me and let that man go. I have nothing but my dream. Allow this man to see his family again."
The figure stepped back from the two men in thought. He began pacing in front of the two, clearly in a state of indecision. Suddenly he lunged at the resolute man making a clumsy slash at the man's throat. Blood began to gush everywhere as the resolute man looked at the figure in bewilderment.
"Haaaaoooo....." The resolute man tried to choke out a last word as his strength drained from him. The figure stumbled away from the man and slumped against a nearby wall.
"NO!" yelled the previously sobbing man. He was pure rage now. "He tried to save me, he was a good man! How could you do this?" The man lunged forward as best he could in his bindings. "I will see to it that men like you are eradicated from this world! That man's dream WILL live!"
"Interesting." The figure mumbled to himself. "That happened quicker than I thought. Perhaps I laid it on a bit thick." The remaining man struggled in his bindings, beginning to bleed where the ropes held him. "Calm down." The figure calmly addressed the other man. "I intend to bring him back to life. This was simply an experiment. In fact, I've never killed a man before. It is rather disconcerting."
"What?" The man in the bindings stopped his struggles and stared at the figure warily.
The figure moved towards the lifeless form of the resolute man with an unsteady gait. Lifting the man, he dragged him to a chair in the center of the room. Binding the body securely, the figure moved to, what appeared to be, a pre-marked spot on the floor. The figure became exceedingly still and an aura enveloped his body.
“You’re a wizard!” shouted the remaining captive. “How dare you commit such atrocities! You disgrace your kind!”
The figure ignored the shouts. An orb appeared in front of the figured and began to slowly hover towards the lifeless body. The figure moved to another pre-marked spot and once again became very still. A second orb appeared and began to move towards the body. The figure then moved to a third marked spot and repeated the same steps. The three orbs contacted the body at the same moment and the body jolted in the chair. An enormous blast of wind knocked the figure and the remaining captive to the floor. The lifeless body began to stir. The figure regained his feet and moved toward the once lifeless body. “There, now let’s see what we have.” The figure undid the restraints on the once lifeless body. The body immediately lunged for the figure, making a deeply guttural sound and clumsily clawing for the figure’s throat. The figure stumbled backward, barely avoiding the body’s grasp. The flesh of the body began to turn visibly decay, parts of the flesh began to peel. “This isn’t right.” The figure explained quietly. The figure stood and left the room. The creature slowly gained its feet. As it did, it slowly turned towards the remaining captive.
“Stop! Don’t come near me!” commanded the captive. The creature began to shuffle towards the captive. “Stop! This is not who you were!” the captive shouted. “Remember who you were. Remember what you’d become.” The creature shuffled forward, its hands now stretched towards the captive. “Remember!” shouted the captive as he shuffled backwards, his restraints preventing efficient progress. The creature hesitated briefly, but soon shuffled towards the captive again. The creature’s flesh began to dry and crackle in places. Parts of flesh fell off as it shambled forwards. “You don’t need to do this!” A final plee escaped the captive as the creature came within lunging distance. The creature reared back as if to lunge, but suddenly jerked to a stop.
“This should restrain him.” the figure said, a rope controlling one of the creatures arms. The figure grabbed the other arm and tied it to the first. “This did not go as expected.” the figure mumbled as he worked. The figure looked at the captive. “I’ll let you go, I apologize for this and I intend to fix it. For now, you’ll have to go back to your life until I can find a solution.”

{Main] takes the captive to the forest blindfolded and restrained. Ensuring the captive has been led through enough turns as to eliminate the captives ability to find the tower, [Main] attempts to release the captive. [Main} hears a noise through the bushes. [Main] barely has time to hide before a compliment of knights bursts through the foliage. [Main] weaves a spell to conceal himself. The knights untie and question the captive. After a brief search of the area the knights escort the captive from the forest. [Main] emerges staring down the path the knights took. [Main] considers the implication of the man’s new fate.

Took the notes at the end of the Prologue and went this route for the beginning of Chapter 1:

(Main) observed the creature through the wall. The creature seemed to know (Main) was there, which (Main) had believed was impossible. He’d used a specific set of breaches and mends to ensure the cell could be viewed from outside, but not from within. The creature just shambled against the wall, always trying to move forward.
Even animals haven’t been able to sense through this wall...what could this creature be driven towards? (Main) moved away and pondered his next move. I need to figure out what’s happening, I know I’ve made no mistakes in my actions, so I must have missed a crucial element in planning. Moving out of the room, (Main) walked to where the creature could actually see him. As (Main) moved, the creature turned in a shuffling manner, always directly facing him.
“So, I think I should observe you in the wild. I’ll release you and observe your behavior. Maybe that will give me a clue as to your true nature.” The creature responded with moans and a desperate attempt to grab hold of (Main). “I don’t wish for anyone to be hurt, but you seem to strongly desire my death or injury. Perhaps I will allow you to chase me, see if something can distract you.” Again the creature moaned. “Well, at least you are versed in the finer arts of conversation.”
*****
Damnit, how could I have made so many mistakes! (Main)’s thoughts raced as he stumbled through the woods. I have to stop the bleeding first, damn thing nearly tore my arm off. (Main)’s left arm bled profusely from the wound, a large chunk missing. A rustling sound emerged from behind. I thought I lost it ages ago! If it is this persistent, then I’ll have to try more extreme measures. (Main) became still and concentrated. Reaching deep into the Order, he split specific parts and joined others together. He worked quickly and with a well practiced precision. Eventually, a buzz began, followed very closely by a gentle vibration. The bleeding in (Main)’s arm stopped, but the wound took on a grayish tone. (Main) thought he saw a line suddenly appear from the wound and shoot off toward the rustling noise. The noise stopped. (Main) was suddenly aware of the creature. He was shocked to discover it was simply an awareness, there was no other emotion or desire emanating from the creature. This is not what should have happened. Yet again my calculations were off. (Main) looked at his arm. No line emerged from it, yet he could not feel the arm either. It hung limp below the wound. Nervously, (Main) looked toward where the rustling sound had come.
“Hello?” (Main) called into the wilderness. “Are you still there?” Silence greeted him. Standing up, (Main) walked towards where the sounds had originated. Again, silence greeted him. Suddenly, (Main) was aware of a slight desire pulling him eastward. Suddenly, the rustling began again. (Main) turned to flee, but just as he took the first step he became aware that both the rustling and the awareness he felt were moving away from him. Curiosity got the better of him and he moved to follow the noises.
(Main) followed the noises east for what seemed like hours. As time progressed, and whenever (Main) stopped to take a break, he realized the awareness grew dimmer. It wasn’t like a fading of sensation, so much as an acknowledgement of distance. It appears I’ve somehow linked myself and that creature. I was supposed to have switched my wound with the creatures whole flesh. I’d never have believed this would occur. Generally it is simply an exchange of flesh for wound. If I could catch this creature, I’m sure I could reverse the situation. The damn thing never seems to tire though, it just keeps moving.
(Main) turned towards his tower. The sun hung low in the sky, it was apparent dusk was upon him. I won’t catch it this way. I should return to the tower and make a plan. With a hesitant glance in the direction of the creature, and a grimace towards his useless arm, he headed home.

*********

(Character 1) looked out the window as he dressed for the day. A shambling figure moved clumsily towards the border of the town. Hmmm, that guy is drunk way too early. Every year these drifters turn out less and less reliable. The other townsfolk seemed to ignore the figure entirely. So many mercenaries they don’t even notice anymore. Strange how this town had less problems when the war raged.
“Daddy!” a small girl ran in from the hall and leaped into the air.
“Good morning sweetheart!” (Character 1) replied as he caught her in the air, hugged her tightly to his chest, and swung her around.
“Stay home today. I want to play with you!”
“Daddy has to go to work honey. I would love nothing more than to stay home and play, but I have to do something to earn money.” (Character 1) put his daughter down and poked her nose. His daughter swatted his hand away with a laugh and ran off towards the kitchen. Five years until retirement, honey. Looking back out the window, (Character 1) noticed the figure reach the outskirt of the town. Even then I guess I won’t really get anymore time with her, she’ll be in school. There has to be a way stay home and make enough to support us. The figure stumbled into the doorway of the first house. Strange. Looked like he had a wound. A scream emerged from the house. Better head down there and see if the guards need any help. (Character 1) moved quickly out of the house and down the street. The guards were entering the house as a crowd gathered outside. Not the first time a mercenary tried to take advantage of a woman. Despicable. As (Character 1) approached the crowd, a guard tumbled out of the house with the figure on top of him. The guard grunted in pain and shoved the figure off. Several members of the crowd screamed and ran. Others tried to restrain the figure. (Character 1) picked up his pace and reached the crowd just as a woman who was helping restrain the creature leapt back and cursed. She held a bleeding hand briefly, then looked angrily at the creature and jumped onto its legs. (Character 1) looked at the figure and noticed it looked strange. Slick in some places, with the skin peeling back. This is no mercenary. The creature struggled and freed an arm. It reached up and pulled one of the townspeople trying to restrain it in and bit hard into his neck. The bit man reared back and screamed as bright red blood pumped out of his neck. Several people rushed to help, but the man brushed them aside in panicked sweeps of his arms. The man collapsed to the ground and passed out. “Someone get a hand on that wound, quick!” (Character 1) shouted to some shocked onlookers. The people moved towards the downed man. (Character 1) reached the creature and pinned its shoulders to the ground just as it tried to get up. The creature gnashed its teeth towards (Character 1)’s arm. (Character 1) let go to avoid the bite. As he pinned the creature again, he noticed a figure emerge from the house. Looks like the (family name) are still ok at least. (Character 1) looked into the creature’s eyes. Nothing. “Kill it.” he whispered.
“What?” asked (name).
“I’m going to kill it.” (Character 1) responded.
“No!” A shout behind (Character 1) suprised him. He looked back in time to see a board swinging towards his face. It struck. (Character 1) was dazed, he heard screams. He tried to stand up, but stumbled. Something wet splashed on his face. Something began tugging on his arm.
“Daddy!” (Character 1) shook his head and tried to stand. He fell again. He saw a shadow stumbling towards him. Shuffling back, he put up an arm in defense. The figure lunged, but a small figure crashed into the shadows side. The shadow fell heavily beside (Character 1). His vision clearing, (Character 1) saw his daughter, unconscious, trapped beneath the man whose neck had been bitten. (Character 1) looked at the man and saw the same nothingness which the creature’s eye’s had held. Standing up, (Character 1) looked towards his daughter. The man gnashed towards (Character 1)’s boot, but the thick leather repelled the attack. (Character 1) kicked the man's head hard, and the man stopped moving. (Character 1) leaned down and rolled the man off his daughter. He checked her pulse. Thank God. He quickly checked her head for wounds. None. Oh thank God. He picked his daughter up and looked around. Chaos ensued. Four people were on top of various other, biting and chewing. Blood pooled everywhere. People screamed and ran. What in God’s name is this? (Character 1) turned and ran for his house, holding his daughter tight as he did.