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(Poem) Meaning
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Author:  Cato [ Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:15 am ]
Post subject:  (Poem) Meaning
A vast beach of empty white
for a time, we count the grains,
too busy to see the emptiness,
but we tire of the counting,
we feel the emptiness within us
and we make castles of the sand.
In time, the castles are lapped away,
and the emptiness returns tenfold,
compounded by the loss of what was.
We build new castles,
and in time the loss fades,
but we never forget what was,
and shall never be again.
Author:  rstnme [ Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
Adjectives are, almost always, meaningless. Particularly when you're constructing an emotional landscape from a literal one. Try, for example, falsifying punctuation while doubly employing your tropes, something like:

An empty beach we count grains
busy ourselves to not see
emptiness. We make
castles of sand and
castles are lapped away
and we count we build
new castles
and.
Author:  miss_bun [ Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
Existencil crisis: that moment of mortal dread when, after a lifetime of having understood and obeyed the rules but perhaps not yet fully grasping the consequences of breaking them, you intentionally color outside the lines for the first time.
Author:  rstnme [ Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
miss_bun wrote:
Existencil crisis: that moment of mortal dread when, after a lifetime of having understood and obeyed the rules but perhaps not yet fully grasping the consequences of breaking them, you intentionally color outside the lines for the first time.


I mean, I like where cato was going, and yet you still had to bring lotus cobra into it?
Author:  miss_bun [ Thu Apr 10, 2014 1:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
I was just expanding on the human race's eternal search for meaning! XP
Author:  rstnme [ Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
miss_bun wrote:
I was just expanding on the human race's eternal search for meaning! XP


A true philosopher would keep their puns at the end......... :V
Author:  Cato [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
Thank you for taking the time to read through my poem. Now I feel bad about being too lazy to read through your short story.
Author:  rstnme [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
Cato wrote:
Thank you for taking the time to read through my poem. Now I feel bad about being too lazy to read through your short story.


No biggie. I was eventually going to cash in my evanescent cat points and make you read it anyway. :evil:
Author:  Cato [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
You've earned enough catpoints with your clever posting and insight into limited to make me read it.
Author:  squinty_eyes [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
How does one earn "cat points"?

~SE++
Author:  Cato [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
Do things of which I approve.
Author:  miss_bun [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
I think I received cat points on one occasion, but I can't recall for sure. :teach:
Author:  Cato [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: (Poem) Meaning
I stopped putting them in my sig, because I'm lazy, but I'm pretty sure you got a lot from making NGA.
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