Now that I'm starting the third piece to this puzzle any feedback on characters, descriptions, grammar anything at all would be much appreciated.
Things like, did I explain everything I needed to?
Did the characters feel fleshed out?
Could I have described anything better, or more clearly, or differently?

And for the more grammatically correct of you...
Was there an 'E' before an 'I'? I'm not looking for spelling errors really, but are there things that I did wrong consistently wrong like run on sentences, put the comma in the wrong spot and things like that.

I'm just looking for anything that will help make the next story better.