as you say: the rack, disrupting scepter, mind twist, hymn to tourach and hypnotic spectre - all much loved cards ^^

Oh yeah, and I ragequit if anyone plays "Ulamog". Though right now I may ragequit if the damned iOS version doesn't actually FIND ME A MATCH...

Shuffle is broken. That's not a roast, just a fact.

I always preferred the 40-card, Dark Ritual, Black Vise, Strip Mine variant...

I think to damn much so I'm a staller. If this was FNM I'd have made half of you walk out of a draft by now by forcing a 1-1 draw and plummeting your chances of top-8ing. Stallers are pieces of ****. You guys would have whined to the LGS owner enough to get me banned if it wasn't for all the money my non-friends-having whale-ass had spent. Just kidding, I'm a broke piece of **** staller.

I always play my **** Main Phase 1 like a moron. Unless it's something that has an ETB trigger like Give All Creatures +1/+1 until EoT. Then I play those Main Phase 2 like a COMPLETE moron.

It's like I'm married to 24 land decks. I idiotically put 24 lands in an agro deck that curves out at 3cmc and I'll stubbornly put 36 spells in my control decks like a complete jackass.

I'm the least 1337 deck style elitist there is. If you're a control player I'll talk **** about how you don't even understand 1/2 the game. If you're an agro player I'll talk **** about how you only know how to turn things sideways. Then secretly, I'll go behind your back like the big jerk I am, and play those exact same decks. I say it's because "variety is the spice of live" but it's really because I secretly want to hate myself.

I can't even go to the bathroom in public places. All the signs either say Men or Women. No bathrooms for little boys who act like little girls.

#bringingit

<<< WTF does all of your theory-crafting garbage matter if you only ever play the AI? Good work buddy, you managed to make a green control deck work because you know the AI is addicted to vehicles and artifact creatures, that must take a lot of skill to beat an opponent who taps everything they own to pilot one Smuggler's Copter. Somehow you manage to get beaten by the AI sometimes anyway, loser. It would help if you stopped pursuing bad deck ideas, or following deck synergy to the point of including bad cards just because they "synergize." Maybe you should get your land ratios and mana curves right, instead of being a scrub who relies on the free mulligan and goes on tilt if you have to mulligan down to 5. You might have quirky decks, but you've also got some of the same bull**** everyone else uses like GW Humans, and you're a lot more likely to play that tired **** on the rare instance that you do play on the ladder. Secretly, you love destroying people's lands and you built a whole deck around Mwonvuli Acid-Moss and Into the Maw of Hell and regrowing them from the graveyard. You rebuilt the deck using Creeping Mold, and you are looking forward to putting Universal Solvent into the deck you sick ****.

For a minute there i forgot what this thread was and thought i'd missed some juicy drama haha

Lol Rumfish that was great. You forgot to put something about writing huge bits of starter deck analysis that no one will ever read

I thought about adding something for that, but I realized that has nothing to do with my playstyle so I figured it was off-topic.

Loves theorycrafting so much he never actually plays the game. Thinks he knows about probability, gets just as mad at bad luck as anyone else.

<- Does dumb **** just because they can and they know they aren't supposed to. Thinks the ultimate troll is winning a game with cards they are not supposed to be running.