Across the sky carried by storks, flies the Blessed Ship Touhou, charted by Admiral Jac.
"Admiral," came the voice of Lt. Skyhunter, Jac's right hand man and brother. "A shrine maiden has returned with a traitor."
A hideously deformed man who wore no clothes but yet was covered in metal was brought before him. "Ah," Jac hummed. "This is the infamous traitor known as Zipperflesh."
The beast nodded, the tiny zipper tags clinking and dangling from his eyes. His body sounded like a million tiny paperclips being crushed in a compactor as he moved, and he stunk fiercely, given that he sweated mercury. "I will never serve the throne of pariahs," he murmured. "JayDreven will rise against you in a fury --"
Admiral Jac delievered a swift smack across the zippers of the beast's face, pulling them open and revealing the inner workings of the creature's skull. The insides of his head resembled something of a fax machine that made love to a soft serve ice cream dispenser. "Order is its own reward," Jac explained. "I will show you the price of chaos."
With that, the admiral hoisted Zipperflesh to the plank, zipped his head open wide, and dumped his malfunctioning brain to the ground many miles below.
---
I am a wanderer.
I've served as a captain, grown into a grassy dinosaur, and died as a victim of the system. I've been slaughtered countless times, usually before the rise of the third dawn. Each time, a small part of my soul is consumed. I am less and less with every incarnation. The name Ragnarokio echoes softer with each passing generation, and the names of my friends have vanished into history.
But I am persistent. Today I will check on the fallen King of Dominaria.
As I approach him, I see him writing in agony, chained to a large boulder on the edge of a cliff.
"O King of Dominaria," I cry. "What is this fate that has befallen you?"
"It is nothing new," he explained. "I have been chained to this rock by PK." KoD bobbed his head and his eyes rolled out, falling into the sea. "It's not so bad though. I'm worried about the next 37 steps he has planned."
"I was thinking, we could like, do a rebellion or something," I explained.
"There are few of us left," KoD answered. "I have resigned myself to the beautiful suffering within existence. I am a living piece of art."
"I can see your spleen through your clothes," I remarked. "It's disgusting."
"Being disgusting is really a subjective concept. Hey, would you like to debate it for the next 24 hours? I'm free until this bird finishes my liver."
"Verily I have to wash my hair, goodbye noble wallsmith. I doth hope PK shows you mercy."
As I strutted away in my suit of armor made from tin cans and discarded cardboard McDonald's burger containers, I announced that I, The Realm's Protector, Knight Ragnarokio, would return and bring liberty to the land of Px2. (In truth, my goal was to maybe make it day four or five before I was publically hanged.)
But in a dream...I saw the face of a kitten.
"Ragnarokio..." it whispered. "You are..."
I could hear the voice of Zindaras. "Yes, Old One?"
"Not my first choice, to be honest..." the voice echoed.
"...My feelings are wounded."
"My powers have waned as the Pariah King has sealed me in a dark crystal in the center of the world. Each day, the sinister knife he placed into my spine slowly leaks more and more poison, clouding my vision over all life. I am imbuing you and all who remain loyal to the realm of Paranoia Paradise of my remaining life force. I soon will be naught but spirit."
I knelt to Zindaras' memory and paused. "But why have thou chosen me?"
"You were in range of my T-Mobile telephone signal. This is not paid promotion, by the way. Even though it is a completely legitimate economic strategy of advertisement."
"Verily."
"Seek out JayDreven...his mercenaries in the sewers will guide you to the others...but trust no one. And should you fail, Px2 will fall to an order of eternal darkness."
I'm Px2's last hope now. But always first, I was a wanderer.
LIVING: 3. JayDreven 10. Altimis Mongoose the Winner 13. Admiral JaC 14. The Abomination Formerly Known as NeoSilk
NOT SO MUCH:
1. Rubik. Just a Cleric, Mafia Aligned Admiral. Lynched Day One. 5. Hello World. FFP, Town Aligned Potentially Checking To See If You Had a No Lie Policy, That It Was A No Lie Policy That Was Accurate. Tripped Over a Pothole Night One. 2. The Realm's Protector, Knight Ragnarokio. Niklor, Mafia Aligned Person Who Lives Near Another Person And Is Part of a Local Prayer Group. Lynched Day Two. 8. Linkdude74. Rubik, Town Aligned Person Who Lives Near Another Person And Is Part of a Local Prayer Group. Died of a Heart Attack Night Two. 12. NeoSilk. Haunter, Town Aligned Jester. Offered cake during Day 3. 11. Freddeh. Freddeh, Town Aligned Mechanically Challenged Dude. Lynched Day 3. 6. Niklor. Murica, Town Aligned Vanilla. Lynched Day 4. 9. Mykidsmomjla. Ragnarokio, Town Aligned Super Miller. Murdered by a store of death Night 4. 7. Zipperflesh. JayDreven, Town Aligned Sewer Protective Navigator. Hit by a Bus Day 5. 4. KingofDominaria. KingofDominaria, Mafia Aligned Wallsmith. Killed by the arrow of legend at the start of Day Six.
This game features a town aligned jester. If the town aligned jester is lynched, he can select a player after his death. That player gains the powers of a Cop. (If the selected player already has a night role ability, they will be asked to choose between the ability power of their original role or the power of being a cop.)
The mafia team have a one shot ability to daykill a player of their choice. The effect only goes off if the selected player is a jester. This ability is sent by PM, and it is never disclosed to the town if it has ever been used.
(The town aligned jester does not have to be lynched to win the game as part of the town.)
Is this game bastard?
There are no lies in anyone’s role PMs.
Investigative roles have confirmed sanity, but players can have exterior roles that could tamper with the result (see: Mafia Don, a player who is mafia but comes up “town” in investigations, and Miller, a player who is town but comes up “scum” in investigations.).
Flavor of roles, names for roles, weird coincidences with roles etc. are all up in the air and may be a source of “soft bastardry.”
Metagame Insurance
An attempt has been made to the design the game to prevent flavor from being overpowered by avoiding events that would be too obscure for most people to know. I've placed an emphasis generally on things that are recent or what I suspect are still "common knowledge." At the same time, some roles and particularly the mafia have been given extra information about the history of Px2, certain individuals, and characters that aren't in the game.
All Possible Px2 Role Names (Excluding Improbable Roles)
Spoiler
JayDreven Mistform Dragon PariahKing ProphetKing Rubik Ragnarokio King of Dominaria Zindaras Murica The Unwritten Niklor Freddeh Zipperflesh Ahlyis Niklor Mongoose Febb SneakyFox FFP Glare of the Loxodon StinkyJoeTerry Silly Dragons Just a Cleric Venger of the Light Krismorel NeoSilk Hello World Zinger Euclid PeregrineV Johnny Combo Player Skyhunter Rhox Razorbourne
Please bold and color your vote. If you do not bold and color your vote, it will not be counted.
Unvoting is necessary for a new vote.
Lynching will require a simple majority of votes. Once a player has reached the necessary majority, it cannot be stopped by unvoting and is locked in. At the deadline of a day, if no majority has been lynched, I will remove the newest vote repeatedly until someone is lynched via plurality. THIS RULE IS NOW INVALID.
You may not discuss the game outside this thread unless your role specifically says so.
Once your death scene has been posted, you’re dead. Please do not say anything more. You can make a farewell post only if it contains zero game relevant information.
Once dead, do not discuss the events of the game with living players or people who might replace in.
Do not edit your posts or intentionally obscure your words in them with invisible text. This will get you modkilled.
Do not quote any PMs from me. All information you share must be heavily paraphrased. Failure to follow this rule will definitely get you modkilled.
If you have a night choice to make, it is due by the posted deadline. If you do not submit a choice to me, no choice will be made.
If you anticipate being unavailable for more than a 72-hour period, please post a notice to that effect in the thread.
Have fun - this is supposed to be a game. Don't be a jerk to your fellow players. I will modkill for extremely bad behavior.
Non-Stacy Rules
Spoiler
Win conditions are not listed in (most? ) role PMs. The town win condition is: eliminate all threats to the town. The mafia win condition is: eliminate all threats to the mafia. Other, more specialized win conditions would be informed to the individual players who have those roles, if they exist.
Here's a town sample PM:
Quote:
Life as a best-selling writer of books for children who is also a goat can be rough, Ben 50-50, Town Aligned Person Who Is Rather Destructive To The Extremely Near By. You were a good person but often caused the town...well, a lot of havoc. And even though you're doing your best to stop the darkness of order, you're still a danger to yourself and others. The last person who votes for you dies along with you. Hopefully they're someone lame.
These can be a lot longer or even shorter, I'm just feeling lazy as this is a sample PM. I sometimes go meta in real PMs like this too.
Here's a mafia sample PM:
Quote:
You hate freedom and fun or whatever, you bad bad person. I bet you punched a kid in the face once, Rhox, Mafia Aligned Guy of Being Very Tough. Actually maybe you used a rock. If the mafia send you out to make the kill, that player dies, even if they were protected by a doctor. (Really? Damn that's a powerful role.)
Your partners are X and Y. This is your QT, blah blah, you dropkicked a cat down the stairs
I intentionally screw with formatting on purpose to prevent shenanigans, but have fun if you wish~
In the event of a tie, it is unknown how it is resolved and may be some form of bullshit.
Also the events of MS Paint Mafia 2 are canon to this game's design.
Beyond that: the game was made more cancerous by having to remove a player than it originally was, but IMO it isn't toxic or terrible and everyone should have fun.
"That winter, the fireplace was never without a crackling blaze in its belly. The boiled wine we drank was undoubtedly middling and cheap, but she said, with a smile, "I've never had wine this good before." And though I didn't say anything, I felt the same way."
"That winter, the fireplace was never without a crackling blaze in its belly. The boiled wine we drank was undoubtedly middling and cheap, but she said, with a smile, "I've never had wine this good before." And though I didn't say anything, I felt the same way."
Everyone should have...role pm...unless u suk....then u no DESERVE
It is Day One (not that there should be any day at all given how bad town is @ gaem)
I will do...vote count. am very gud at count. NEVER MAEK MISTAKE!!!
anyone have caek? i love caek
---
JayDreven lines up the town in front of the interdimensonal pipe maze that connects each and every person to the different parallel universes that each mafia game takes place in.
"PariahKing attacked our MS Paint drawings. He took our self aligned players, our townies. The mafia think we're helpless. They're wrong. They started a war, but we're not here to finish it. We're here to make them regret -- to show them and everyone else what happens when you go too far. No more running, no more waiting. Let's hit them where they live."
Everyone is very impressed at this speech that was definitely not wholesale plagarized and meets up in a secret dark room under a hidden identity, and prepares to vote, because that is how mafia works.
Something something Ralph Nader, Richard Nixon, Rick and Morty.
It is now Day One. With 13 alive, it will be 7 to lynch.
"That winter, the fireplace was never without a crackling blaze in its belly. The boiled wine we drank was undoubtedly middling and cheap, but she said, with a smile, "I've never had wine this good before." And though I didn't say anything, I felt the same way."
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) role PMs. The town win condition is: eliminate all threats to the town. The mafia win condition is: eliminate all threats to the mafia. Other, more specialized win conditions would be informed to the individual players who have those roles, if they exist.
