This is the moment you've been waiting for! It is time for the entrance of the one you all adore! The returning representative of NGA to the 2021 Mafia Champions over on Mafia Universe!

The one!

The only!

Your hero, KoD!

And in true fashion, I will be playing the part of Mario because that is what I do. I *****AM***** the important hero who shall save you all from yourselves. How you ask? Well it is quite simple. You see, other than a few days of downtime to process all the information that overloaded me, I have returned still amped up on CHS (Champs Hero Syndrome apparently which means if you mess with me Arrgh, I will PoE you into nonexistence in such a fashion that you will curl up into a ball like you did in Pinky Promise when Zinger and I tag teamed you into oblivion). Like, that's not even the half of it. I'm carrying so much excess energy from Champs that I will literally solve this for us.

Don't believe me? Trust me. After 100 posts have been made, I will, with the assistance of my lovely partner Silver Boo, sus out the mafia scum with so much ease that even CL will begin to question his rhetoric approach to mafia.

That's what you're dealing with here. So buckle up because, and I cannot stress this enough, *ahem*

Since I am Mario, I'm obviously going to win this Double Dash race while Dusky Daisy and Yoshi piddle around near the back of the racers because they will not ***MATCH*** the pure, unhindered, double dash skills that will be displayed here today. Like, no offense Arrgh and Zinger, but there's no way you're winning this race while I'm here.


Silver, we've got some dust to generate for them to eat.

Obligatory Mario Kart pickup lines:

Boo, I want a piece of you.

Want to see how I could turbo dash you to the finish?

Did you just use a Mega Mushroom or are you happy to see me?

I know how to work my kart, I can get in and out of any tight spots.

I'll travel to the end of Rainbow Road with you, because you are a worthy treasure.

Am I accelerating too fast for you?

Which ever path you want to take, we are going to the end.

These balloons are not the only things popping tonight.

I am usually good at Mario Kart, but I am falling for you with every turn I take.

I hope u enjoy looking at the stars at night because I'll send u flying up there with my star.

No lava in Bowser's Castle is going to stop me from getting to you.

With you, I feel I have Star power. I am faster, stronger, and can penetrate through anything.

*Obligatory I googled these and picked out ones that made me chuckle.

As a final parting note, we're in second despite having getting knocked to the side by that hulking mess of a kart that Dusky and Arrgh have. Hahahahahahahaha, see you guys at the finish line.

If you ever make it that is.

Guys, I've already got a lock town read.


It's on Tevish. There's no way he is scum this game so gg. I'm that much closer to susing out the rest of the scum. Your days are numbered.

My role PM says you're just a plumber so what I'm expecting from you is a lot of crack shots and over charging for plunging the toilet after DK's done in there.

Duskyblue)
Zinger)
Tevish Szat)
Aaarrrgh)
JD)
DaRkStAr)
Faerie)
Silverfish)
Legacy of Smiles)
Captan_Lunch)


* * * * * * * * * *

Town:
Tevish
Zinger
Dusky
JD
Silver <------ Acting Baseline Placeholder
CL
LoS
Dark
Arrgh
Faerie
Mafia:



No, this isn't to indicate who the scum team is. My brain is currently assessing the current amount of posts and how each person has posted. We'll get a more accurate reading as the day goes on, culminating in the game being solved at 100 posts when I give you the names of the dastardly scum aligned players.

At that point we can all sit back and lynch to victory.

Hold on, I need to update my list.


Town:
Tevish
Zinger
Dusky
Silver <------ Acting Baseline Placeholder
JD
CL
LoS
Dark
Arrgh
Faerie
Mafia:



* * * * * * ** * * **

I'm not just a plumber. I'm THE plumber that has saved the day on multiple occasions. Today will be no different.

Also, DK isn't here. Just Arrgh as uhhhh Diddy? Yeah, just Diddy. Ha ha.

Have you though? Or like most plumbers have you simply taken credit for the work of those under you (aka team green)?

Thats exactly what it sounds like cause we have to make 100 posts.

Let's be real here for a moment.

Team Green is comprised of Luigi and Yoshi.

Luigi, being my younger brother, is loathe to be in my shadow. We all know how his solo adventure went *eyeroll@luigi'smansion*. But he's still my bro though.

Yoshi is my timeless companion. A trusty friend that is always ready to lend a saddle to the cause.

And yet for some reason the two of you are displaying anti-me tendencies which is like, super not chill in the least.


I expect it from you, JD. After all, you and Dusky think you can beat me in double dash when my partner is Silver? Like, do you want me to guffaw? Because even if Skystone isn't on my team, you two are still not taking first place. Not if I have a say in it. Silver will back me up on this. Right, Boo?

Zinger, on the other hand, has a terrifying aura that I'm reading. At first it was pleasant, but the moment he got teamed with you it was a complete 180. Team Green, indeed. Truly that connection Team Green has may run deeper than I first though given the jolly banter earlier.

Hm.

LAP 1 ACTION

Paratroopa cackles. After decades of suffering, having watched a dozen too many times as Bowser sent her friends to their deaths beneath the heavy leather boots of that accursed Plumber, it's time for catharsis. She ready her blue shell.

Paratroopa fires. Baby Bowser gurgles in fear, smashing his power star over his head and roaring at the sudden rush of immortality. He catches a boost as he turns, and he's off. The blue shell smashes through him, but what is a mere blue shell to an actual dragon? Whistling, he strikes the Parade Train, sending it up and into the air; the Green Kart explodes as he rushes through it, and he pulls dangerously near to the poor Koopa Birdo.

Behind him, the blue shell races up and into the Boo Pipes'...pipes, then alights with all the grace of an apocalypse (including the giant explosion) upon the first place kart. The poor Koopa Birdo flies upward, and it tries, it tries, to come back down – but the glorious dragon Stroller sends it back up again.

Daisy stuffs a pair of mushrooms into her Train's fuel tank, trying to make up the distance. It works. A bit.

Luigi screams in front of her, and cries, "Lightning Bolt! LIGHTNING BOLT!". The Green Kart roars forward, attempting to crush tiny racers underfoot, but it only catches the Waluigi Wing, which had only just managed to finally climb up from last. Waa. Waaaaaaaaaa.

Mario, seeing his brother coming, fires a shell backwards in defense. It works – Green Kart spins away, and the Boo Pipes rumbles on in safety.

Standings:
1. Stroller
2. Parade Train
3. Green Kart
4. Turbo Pipes
5. Koopa Birdo
6. Waluigi Wing

Events
Koopa Birdo defends with a shell. (Alas...)
Stroller uses Power Star and hits a boost.
Parade Train double mushrooms.
Green Kart uses lightning bolt.
Waluigi Wing uses a blue shell.
Turbo Pipes fires a shell backwards.

Stroller passes: Green Kart, Parade train, Turbo Pipes, Koopa Birdo
Turbo Pipes is passed by: Parade train, Green Kart
Koopa Birdo is passed by: Stroller, Parade Train, Green Kart, Turbo Pipes
Parade Train passes: Turbo Pipes
Green Kart: passes: Turbo Pipes
Waluigi Wing is inert

@KoD, that was a lot of words to just say yes.

Also I'm starting to feel like Sky has something against waluigi.

You are literally driving the kart that ran him over.

It's not purely yes though.

I mean, yeah, yes for you.

But for Zinger? It's confounding.

kod you made a list of town and mafia through amount of posts and how each person has posted and can you elaborate more on the part on how each person has posted or was this a gun to head list?

Right now, you are eating both our dusts, turbo pipes!
Also, hi, I'm Daisy!

@Faerie:

That list was not made based on post count. How they posted is a factor in determining stuff, but as I ultimately said that list is by no means accurate or true until we reach 100 posts and I give the scum team.



@Dusky:

ha ha ha hahahahahahah

Town:
Tevish
Zinger
Faerie
Silver <------ Acting Baseline Placeholder
Dusky
JD
CL
LoS
Dark
Arrgh
Mafia:

I guess this is the part where I attempt to be serious. But with so little joking to be serious about, what seriously serious series of seriousness can I make any assessment on?

What I've determined thus far is that Dusky is very happy to introduce herself as Daisy. I have to wonder whether this is an ability, a restriction, or a quirk. Only time will tell, after all.

Though my partner is already making reads, and I do not doubt his ability, I lack the same adeptness to create nice organized lists, especially this early. Now is not the time for lists, but the time for questions. Like why Faerie's headvoice makes me want to tell them to slow down and try again. And why Dusky seems so happy. And why the Koopa Birdo was afraid of being attacked when clearly our cart is prime real estate at this stage in the game.

I have my eyes on the road ahead for right now, but that's not to say anyone is safe.

I believe his current list is a diversion and the result of a complicated calculation factoring in how often you threatened or insulted him, number of posts, how much he loves you, your current vendetta ranking and how stale his muffin is.

@Silver: I am riding a train! How could I not be happy?

A... train. Now where in marioland or whatever inane name this place has been given did you find a train to ride?

I just want to go back to haunting everyone.

In any case, the racing led to an eventful first lap, but I'm not sure that was as helpful as one might have hoped in discerning where everyone stands in the murder arena. KoD's coming out pretty loud, which reflects well on him. Unlike some players he will go for decent engagement when scum, but I feel like he's more willing to take the spotlight as town, and he's done that in a big way. Zinger and Aaarrrgh are the other players I feel like I have something of a meta instinct on, and of the two Zinger's kind of a null read and Aaarrrgh... if I had to make a snap judgment right now on who was scum, Aaarrrgh would be a call. He's been quite circumspect (not that anyone has much content yet) and does clam up as scum. It's not a strong read given how much, or rather little game has passed but it's kind of what I've got ATM. I'd like to hear something out of him besides punning.