There is a law across the galaxy.
Across the sky carried by storks, flies the Blessed Ship Touhou, charted by Admiral Jac.
"Admiral," came the voice of Lt. Skyhunter, Jac's right hand man and brother. "A shrine maiden has returned with a traitor."
A hideously deformed man who wore no clothes but yet was covered in metal was brought before him. "Ah," Jac hummed. "This is the infamous traitor known as Zipperflesh."
The beast nodded, the tiny zipper tags clinking and dangling from his eyes. His body sounded like a million tiny paperclips being crushed in a compactor as he moved, and he stunk fiercely, given that he sweated mercury. "I will never serve the throne of pariahs," he murmured. "JayDreven will rise against you in a fury --"
Admiral Jac delievered a swift smack across the zippers of the beast's face, pulling them open and revealing the inner workings of the creature's skull. The insides of his head resembled something of a fax machine that made love to a soft serve ice cream dispenser. "Order is its own reward," Jac explained. "I will show you the price of chaos."
With that, the admiral hoisted Zipperflesh to the plank, zipped his head open wide, and dumped his malfunctioning brain to the ground many miles below.
---
I am a wanderer.
I've served as a captain, grown into a grassy dinosaur, and died as a victim of the system. I've been slaughtered countless times, usually before the rise of the third dawn. Each time, a small part of my soul is consumed. I am less and less with every incarnation. The name Ragnarokio echoes softer with each passing generation, and the names of my friends have vanished into history.
But I am persistent. Today I will check on the fallen King of Dominaria.
As I approach him, I see him writing in agony, chained to a large boulder on the edge of a cliff.
"O King of Dominaria," I cry. "What is this fate that has befallen you?"
"It is nothing new," he explained. "I have been chained to this rock by PK." KoD bobbed his head and his eyes rolled out, falling into the sea. "It's not so bad though. I'm worried about the next 37 steps he has planned."
"I was thinking, we could like, do a rebellion or something," I explained.
"There are few of us left," KoD answered. "I have resigned myself to the beautiful suffering within existence. I am a living piece of art."
"I can see your spleen through your clothes," I remarked. "It's disgusting."
"Being disgusting is really a subjective concept. Hey, would you like to debate it for the next 24 hours? I'm free until this bird finishes my liver."
"Verily I have to wash my hair, goodbye noble wallsmith. I doth hope PK shows you mercy."
As I strutted away in my suit of armor made from tin cans and discarded cardboard McDonald's burger containers, I announced that I, The Realm's Protector, Knight Ragnarokio, would return and bring liberty to the land of Px2. (In truth, my goal was to maybe make it day four or five before I was publically hanged.)
But in a dream...I saw the face of a kitten.
"Ragnarokio..." it whispered. "You are..."
I could hear the voice of Zindaras. "Yes, Old One?"
"Not my first choice, to be honest..." the voice echoed.
"...My feelings are wounded."
"My powers have waned as the Pariah King has sealed me in a dark crystal in the center of the world. Each day, the sinister knife he placed into my spine slowly leaks more and more poison, clouding my vision over all life. I am imbuing you and all who remain loyal to the realm of Paranoia Paradise of my remaining life force. I soon will be naught but spirit."
I knelt to Zindaras' memory and paused. "But why have thou chosen me?"
"You were in range of my T-Mobile telephone signal. This is not paid promotion, by the way. Even though it is a completely legitimate economic strategy of advertisement."
"Verily."
"Seek out JayDreven...his mercenaries in the sewers will guide you to the others...but trust no one. And should you fail, Px2 will fall to an order of eternal darkness."
I'm Px2's last hope now. But always first, I was a wanderer.
1. Rubik
2. The Realm's Protector, Knight Ragnarokio
3. JayDreven
4. KingofDominaria
5. Hello World
6. Niklor
7. Zipperflesh
8. Linkdude74
9. Mykidsmomjla
10. Mongoose the Winner
11. Freddeh
12. NeoSilk
13. Admiral JaC
14.
Knowledge of Px2 will not be required to successfully play this game.
) role PMs. The town win condition is: eliminate all threats to the town. The mafia win condition is: eliminate all threats to the mafia. Other, more specialized win conditions would be informed to the individual players who have those roles, if they exist.