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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 11:25 am 
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Alekzander Tavor: , formerly

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If Ravnica is too distracting, since it seems fairly popular in the MEM, I can change a few details to make it so that Alekzander comes from the plane in my Rab Mosstooth story. I opted for Ravnica to save Mown some work in designing a card for Alekzander, should he chose to use the character in his homebrew set.

Alekzander deals in red mana, having shunned white because of the authoritarianism that undercuts even the color's most beneficial qualities such as devotion to community and enlightenment. In dueling, Alekzander relies on snow elementals and minotaurs. Alekzander interprets his use of snow elementals as a purging of the emotions that drove his failed crusade on Ravnica. Rather than nurture those emotions, Alekzander removes them and puts them to use in combat. Alekzander's use of summoned minotaurs serves to remind him of his roots: minotaur brutality prompted him to enlist with the Boros, and it was minotaur brutality that triggered his spark.

One of Alekzander's most useful spells is something of a gamble that symbolizes his mad quest to conjure a dragon. He believes that if chance dictates a spell is not needed, then it is simply not needed and that he's better for not having access to the spell.

Aside from conjuring elementals and minotaurs, and gambling, Alekzander relies on sweeper-esque spells and knows very few one-on-one spells. Dealing with hordes of Boros fanatics, rabble, and the Izzet weirds and elementals have given him a preference for spells that eliminate fanatics without the threat of turning them into martyrs and crowd control that can't be prevented by the Izzet guildmages or Azorious guildmages. Anything that survives his sweepers is left to deal with his minotaurs and elementals. Alekzander's ultimate is a spell that he is loathe to use, given what he finds when he returns to Ravnica to fix his mistakes.

EDIT: Here's the first part of Alekzander's origin story. I have shifted it to my homebrew plane, though after I've got the shape of the story I will look into transferring it to Faskeria in the second draft.

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Last edited by Heartless Hidetsugu on Sat May 16, 2015 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 3:53 pm 
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I'm placing his arrival on Mirrodin sometime after the 5th Dawn retcon and long before the first hints of Phyrexia's presence in the Scars block. Avoids unnecessary complications.

Sadly, because of the goofy timeline stuff Wizards did between the Alara and New Phyrexia timelines, I'm not sure ANYTHING involving Mirrodin avoids complications...

My biggest problem with this character, perhaps predictably, is Ravnica. You are tying a great deal of this character's history and mentality to a canon plane, and establishing some pretty plane-spanning events that will simply never exist in canon, which to me is problematic.

The character itself, though, I do sort of like. I don't know if I would go so far into him being this hyper-aware of the philosophies of the colors, but I DO like him finding himself in a organization when he discovers that he sort of hates the underlying philosophies of . From a narrative standpoint, though, I just think it would be cleaner if you showed that without using the color-aligned vocabulary. Sort of a "I joined the army to protect people, not do paperwork" kind of thing.

I like his use of Gamble, and it might be worth exploring that as less of a metaphor and more of an actual gambling personality. Just a thought.

Thanks for posting!


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 6:57 pm 
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Thank you Raven, I'll work in more instances of showing his...being in tune with one color over the other. I will also transition this to the plane in The Sweet Sound. It will give me raison d'etre for exploring Rairaka, the northernmost region of that story's plane.

Side note, the more I work in that plane, the more I see it being themed around North American mythology. The beliefs of the Native Americans with some references to uniquely American cryptozoology.

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Last edited by Heartless Hidetsugu on Tue May 05, 2015 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 8:15 pm 
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Commenting without having really dug into things yet, so bear that in mind, but it seems relevant for me to comment quickly.
I'm placing his arrival on Mirrodin sometime after the 5th Dawn retcon and long before the first hints of Phyrexia's presence in the Scars block. Avoids unnecessary complications.

Sadly, because of the goofy timeline stuff Wizards did between the Alara and New Phyrexia timelines, I'm not sure ANYTHING involving Mirrodin avoids complications...
Freaking Mirrodin....
That being said, I'll take some time and review it to see if there's anything that is directly problematic, mostly because, in the broadest terms, using Mirrodin isn't impossible, but it all revolves around the relevance of the Vanishing to the rest of it.

Quote:
My biggest problem with this character, perhaps predictably, is Ravnica. You are tying a great deal of this character's history and mentality to a canon plane, and establishing some pretty plane-spanning events that will simply never exist in canon, which to me is problematic.
Huge, HUGE flag for me. So much so, that I would vote the character down at this moment if it went to vote.
It isn't just the use of Ravnica, and the supposed plane spanning events he's supposed to take part in, it's, quite frankly, just the use of Ravnica as an origin that is a sticking point. We have 3 native walkers already. A number that, by all rights, is statistically impossible given the size and population density of Ravnica. Ravnica, in broad MEM terms, is pretty much off limits as to use for starting points.

BUT, there again, you did mention that you would be willing to shuffle things around, so that would be my suggestion.

Quote:
I don't know if I would go so far into him being this hyper-aware of the philosophies of the colors, but I DO like him finding himself in a organization when he discovers that he sort of hates the underlying philosophies of . From a narrative standpoint, though, I just think it would be cleaner if you showed that without using the color-aligned vocabulary. Sort of a "I joined the army to protect people, not do paperwork" kind of thing.
Amusingly enough, this cuts both ways.
Because Gideon allied with the Boros specifically because they didn't do paperwork, and yet he is mono-white.
But that kind of goes into the broader subjects at hand. Characters aren't aware of the metaphilosophies of the colors. The way the colors are even concepted is in terms of magic, not philosophy. There can certainly be people aware of trends in personalities with magical disciplines, but they wouldn't be thinking in terms of "red magic" but rather "pyromancy" and other disciplines. While we broadly lump red magic into a category from a metaperspective, that perspective doesn't exist in world. Not really. It breaks up along lines of specializations that draw power from the same source, but they require very different mental spaces as they are very different spells.

Anyways, those are my initial thoughts based on reactions. I'll try and sink in deeper at a later time to give you more personalized and relevant thoughts.

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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 8:51 pm 
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I envision Alekzander pre-ascension as having access to a small bit of pyromancy, and a small bit of sparkcasting. He couldn't pull off anything really big or fancy, though. I see his main skill being in channeling his emotions into elementals. On my unnamed plane he would still play an enforcement role, so I could see evocation as a healthy means of blowing off steam. Taking his daily stress and getting it out of his system in a productive way. Evocation would be Alekzander's main area of expertise.

If it's of any help, none of the big events on Mirrodin should impact Alekzander. You may slot him wherever works in between the 5th Dawn material and the retcons for Scars. He need not have any interaction with, or knowledge of, the Phyrexian threat.

Gambling: Since Alekzander establishes and holds himself accountable to his own rules independent of the Coldfire Command*. Disrupting the Command's weapons distribution, I could see him turning it into a kind of free-for-all for the peoples victimized by the more unsavory members of the Command. Even giving them a "here's all this power, you're free to do whatever you like so long as you accept the consequences of your decisions," as the people go looting. The irony is that I have him running from the consequences of his own decisions in acting out against the Command.

*Coldfire Command: A company founded by the minotaurs of Rairaka that dates back to the time when the arrowheads** and beaksnouts*** walked the plane. The Coldfire Command is a mercenary company that seeds itself throughout the various factions of Rairaka at the behest of the land's goblin ruler. They serve to keep competing factions from irreparably destablizing Rairaka.

**arrowheads: A term referring to the viashino known to the now scattered native tribes as Aetherstalkers.
***beaksnouts: A term referring to the akki goblins driven from Rairaka by the arrowheads.

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Last edited by Heartless Hidetsugu on Tue May 05, 2015 9:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 8:58 pm 
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I envision Alekzander pre-ascension as having access to a small bit of pyromancy, and a small bit of sparkcasting. He couldn't pull off anything really big or fancy, though. I see his main skill being in channeling his emotions into elementals. On my unnamed plane he would still play an enforcement role, so I could see evocation as a healthy means of blowing off steam. Taking his daily stress and getting it out of his system in a productive way. Evocation would be Alekzander's main area of expertise.
I think he would have a good conversation with Aerik about emotions.

Quote:
If it's of any help, none of the big events on Mirrodin should impact Alekzander. You may slot him wherever works in between the 5th Dawn material and the retcons for Scars. He need not have any interaction with, or knowledge of, the Phyrexian threat.

Yeah, it sounds fine as far as that goes. It's the same sort of setup as Alessa has with the plane, though she hasn't been there recently.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 9:42 pm 
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Well, right off the bat I can feel a bit of predisposition with this character bordering on conflict of interest.

Lol. That aside... I feel like, when you are fleshing out the back story for this character, it would be better to approach it more from a literal, textural storytelling.

Less jumping between regions and history, and more wordplay.

I want to know how prickly his beard is by the time ur done.

How prickly is his beard?


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 9:46 pm 
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Beard might be a bit tricky for him post-ascension.

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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 12:22 pm 
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Don't listen to me anyway, lol.

I'd like to eventually stop handing out literary advice, considering it seems a bit silly.


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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2015 2:56 pm 
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Aaaah it's good to get back to reading stuff here.

So I like a lot of what you have here. The basic narrative is an old one and a good one: character becomes a cop to change the system, runs afoul of said system on the path to ousting corruption, endures great loss at the hands of their former allies, and uh in this case travels to another world and becomes a cyborg I guess that part is a little less common but the point is that the basic structure here is very solid.

You've moved things off Ravnica and onto your own plane and I hasten to say that that's fine BUT have you considered possibly moving this narrative to an M:EM plane? It's just a thought--we've got lots of planes that don't have native 'walkers and I suspect that there's a few with solid r/w organizations. I can see Faskeria working pretty well potentially for example, and I'm sure there's others with r/w orgs.

One thing that I think could use some more expansion is his actual ascension which is pretty brutally violent even by the standards of Planeswalkers. There's only a few characters with ascension stories as horrifying as Alekzander's (Blink... mmm, Asher maybe?... Lourima... Kirsh maaaybe...) and I think I'd like to see some examination of that and the ramifications of the fact that he was effectively tortured to death in a particularly cruel and demeaning way then survived, that's gotta screw a person up. (And probably you're going to need some research into what the effects of castration are on the body--I don't really know off the top of my head oh wow what if he met Pendulum that'd be interesting sorry got sidetracked there).

The snow mana almost borders on excessive oddness I think but I'm kind of inclined to say it's ok, but maybe that could be pulled in more tightly with what he's doing. I've always been a fan of the snow red spells and the snow-themed stuff from Kamigawa, so I'm curious to see where you'll take that.

There's a lot to like here but I think what I'm missing right now, beyond the revised backstory which I'm sure will have similar contours to the current backstory, is a sense of his current motivation and psychology after suffering a highly traumatic experience.


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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2015 3:22 pm 
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Aaaah it's good to get back to reading stuff here.

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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2015 8:10 pm 
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Thanks for your advice, Keeper.

Alekzander's ignition is pretty violent, though I believe the minotaurs' logic will justify the brutality. While Alekzander goes on his mad quest, he begins to build up a reputation. Older members of the Coldfire Command pass him off as an idealist gone mad, best let him go off to the poles and die in the arctic wastes. A good kid that was unable to cope with the psychological demands of the Command. Younger members have a sort of reverence for Alekzander's dedication to the concept of justice and seek to emulate his example. Other groups in the Coldfire Command believe that Alekzander is an extremist that threatens the delicate balance of their jurisdiction. The minotaurs stage a violent execution with the intent of showing the world that Alekzander is a mortal man, nothing more than a dangerous renegade whose actions inspired further violence across the plane. The brutality of the ignition event is meant to break the godlike myths that grow around Alekzander as he quests for the dragon.

This was all inspired in part by that Bonnie and Clyde movie with Warren Beatie. There's the myth of these two as average folks that decided to stick it to the man. In reality, they were killers and met an end as violent as their crime spree. As with Bonnie and Clyde, these myths about Alekzander begin to grow, propelling him to near godlike status. Not that he's a god, or anything like that. This is a case where the reputation precedes the individual.

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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2015 9:34 pm 
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Yeah, I actually don't have a problem with the violence as it made sense to me from the description thus far, but I like this expansion a lot, I think it expands a lot on the wider social context. I'm just wondering how this sort of affects him going forward--it's almost like the real story is the backstory if that makes sense?


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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2015 10:59 pm 
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Updated the OP with the first part of Alekzander's origin story. There is quite a bit behind it, though I find it easier to map a course if I have a stronger understanding of where my character's coming from.

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