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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 1:05 am 
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Hello, all! So, it's been a little while since I've posted a story, but trust me, I have been working on stuff! In order to illustrate that point, I invite you to enjoy my latest story, "Pick Your Poison"! This story shows us some of what becomes of our friend Denner Fabellian after the events of The War of the Wheel, so naturally it contains at least some spoilers for it. Of course, in the grand scheme of things, the fact that this story exists is some kind of spoiler for WotW, but whatever, right?

Anyway, this story also features my new plane, Dammerdall, and if the outpouring of interest in that thread is any indication, this story is going to explode these boards!

:alone:

Anyway, here's "Pick Your Poison"! This is a bit of a long one, so I'll split it into two parts.

Enjoy!

Pick Your Poison, part One


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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 1:05 am 
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Pick Your Poison, part Two


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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 1:26 am 
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A nice side story for Denner. I found the adventuring party a little too D&D for my taste, and Dammerdall being a plane where mages are persecuted seems incongruous to the game of Magic, but Cyrryc was a cool villain who I hope to see more of.

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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 1:42 am 
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A nice side story for Denner. I found the adventuring party a little too D&D for my taste, and Dammerdall being a plane where mages are persecuted seems incongruous to the game of Magic, but Cyrryc was a cool villain who I hope to see more of.

:takei:

You are a fast reader, CKY!

Thanks for reading! Sorry the story didn't really do it for you, but I am glad you enjoyed Cyrryc Adda. I've been wanting to introduce him for a while now, but obviously I had to wait until certain things happened. They've happened now, so here he is!

As for mages being persecuted, I think this is one area where we have an advantage in the M:EM, and we can experiment with things like this. Also, mages aren't necessarily persecuted, because there are magics approved of by the Church, and Waldron is more of a zealot than a lot of the plane, even though most humans there do belong to the Church.

I should also note that mages are also persecuted on Thorneau...

I guess that's a thing I do?

Oh, well...

Thanks for reading and commenting!


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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 2:34 am 
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Oh, hey, the first Dammerdall story - I was just wondering today, actually, how Denner was doing! He comes up in the next story I'm working on, actually. (Much like how Fisco Vane "comes up" in this one.) So it got me thinking about his fate, and well, now we know!

I like how the story delves deeply into the prejudices of the plane. Being a mage is a bad thing, and being a nought is a bad thing, and Denner just happens to be both. Interesting to explore. I enjoyed the interactions here. Poor Denner, though I suppose I should have expected he would not be having an easy time of it.

I could not help but wonder what would have happened had he encountered a certain healer and her shade companion...

But hey, thanks again for taking my loose (very, very loose) basis for a plane and running with it. I appreciate the Blue Fever mention. Now I've got Verity and Leon on the mind, but I haven't planned anything out for the two of them just yet. Hmph...

Anyway, thanks for posting, Raven!

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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 3:03 am 
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Hey, Ruwin, thanks a ton for reading, and I'm glad you seemed to enjoy it!

Oh, hey, the first Dammerdall story - I was just wondering today, actually, how Denner was doing! He comes up in the next story I'm working on, actually. (Much like how Fisco Vane "comes up" in this one.) So it got me thinking about his fate, and well, now we know!

Yeah, Denner is not the luckiest guy in the Multiverse. I suspect things will get worse before they get better worse than that.

I like how the story delves deeply into the prejudices of the plane. Being a mage is a bad thing, and being a nought is a bad thing, and Denner just happens to be both. Interesting to explore. I enjoyed the interactions here. Poor Denner, though I suppose I should have expected he would not be having an easy time of it.

Honestly, the concept of the Noughts and what it means on Dammerdall is one of the things I was happiest with in this story. For example, did you notice that even though they introduced themselves, the party never once asks Denner's name? He's a Nought, so it's like his name doesn't even matter, even to the people that don't dislike him.

I could not help but wonder what would have happened had he encountered a certain healer and her shade companion...

Very interesting question. I fear Denner would say something he wouldn't live to regret. This might be an interesting thing to explore in a Suppose Prose story... :D

But hey, thanks again for taking my loose (very, very loose) basis for a plane and running with it. I appreciate the Blue Fever mention. Now I've got Verity and Leon on the mind, but I haven't planned anything out for the two of them just yet. Hmph...

No...thank you! And the Blue Fever thing really helped me tie together that scene.

As for Verity and Leon, I'd certainly be interested to see more of them. And if you felt like setting it on Dammerdall, that would be cool! Feel free to use any of the stuff I establish here, if it helps!

Anyway, thanks for posting, Raven!

You're welcome, and thanks for reading and posting!


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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 7:37 am 
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The persecution elements bring to mind the Church of Tal, from The Gathering Dark.

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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 5:25 pm 
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I liked the adventuring party angle. It was a bit tropey, yes, but well justified within the setting. Also, I'm glad to see that Denner is still fighting, and I really hope he'll work this out. Might be about time to use that coin, huh?

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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 8:04 pm 
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The persecution elements bring to mind the Church of Tal, from The Gathering Dark.

Persecution, standing Tal!

:huh:

Aaarrrgh wrote:
I liked the adventuring party angle. It was a bit tropey, yes, but well justified within the setting. Also, I'm glad to see that Denner is still fighting, and I really hope he'll work this out. Might be about time to use that coin, huh?

Glad you liked it! Denner may not have gotten what he wanted here, but he did learn a few things. But yeah, time is running out for the Delver. I can't speak for Denner (okay, well, I can and I do, but...) but I don't think he's quite ready to light that coin yet. Although this is a bit unfair to good ol' Smokey, I suspect he's looking at it as a sort of "sell your soul to save your life." We'll see what happens as Denner runs out of time, and options. I'd be lying if I said I knew exactly what's going to happen, and I can't promise it'll end well for our well-meaning Delver. But we'll see. We'll see...

Thank you both for reading and commenting! It always warms my heart.


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 10:23 pm 
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Excellent as usual, Mr. Raven. I thoroughly enjoyed this story -- thanks for sharing it!

I took notes as I was reading, and, then -- because I'm smart like this -- I promptly closed the file without saving it. I know that I can reconstruct the basic gist from memory, but I did lose track of the one typo that I remember seeing. Sorry!

Anyway, it's nice to see Denner again, although, as you pointed out, he hasn't been the luckiest guy of late. Actually... Denner hasn't ever really been the luckiest guy, has he? To borrow a bit of poker slang, he seems to have a pretty massive case of the run-bads.

It is really gratifying to watch Denner's sort of slow, stuttering personal development -- he has come a pretty long way since we first ran into him. I'm just sorry that his opportunities for personal development keep being so painful. An Outward Bound course, this ain't.

Anyway, Denner has grown on me considerably over the course of WotW and this story. So I'm firmly rooting for him to turn the corner on his losing streak and catch a break sooner rather than later.

(I've always been meaning to ask, but I always forget -- did you choose "delver" as a descriptor for Denner as a reference to Delver of Secrets, or are the two totally unrelated?)

As others have mentioned, I really enjoyed our first expedition to Dammerdall. The depiction of the reputation-based society is fascinating, as are the consequences of being a Naught. In some small ways, Dammerdall reminds me of Aliavelli, (only, you know, this world actually has a plane guide!), and the Naughts remind me of the Nameless. But, actually, when the innkeeper refused Denner's money, the thing which really came bursting into my mind was the scene from Idiocracy when Not Sure goes to the hospital: "He's unscannable!" (And I intend that one-hundred-percent as a compliment -- I love Idiocracy.)

I actually like the sort of videogame feel to Dammerdall in general and the adventuring party here in particular. The reputation system on this plane (as I understand it, anyway) is so like what you'd see in a videogame, as is the notion that you get more reputation by questing, and the like. It's almost like our brave adventurers are living the gameification dream (or nightmare, depending on your perspective), only they don't realize it. They're on a heroic mission to fill progress bars, and Denner finds himself pulled along for the ride!

I think the story works just fine in its own right, but I like that you can also read it as this kind of running commentary on RPG/adventure conventions. That sort of thing tickles my fancy.

I confess I'm not totally sure what to make of our friend with the two palindromes for names just yet. I find myself wondering to what extent his heel turn at the end was motivated just by the desire to have a captive subject for some experiment he wanted to run, versus the possibility that there is something larger at play here, and that Denner's presence on the scene is not just an unfortunate coincidence. I've learned to be on extreme alert for Larger Goings-On when Raven is involved, after all. :paranoid:

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this one, and I hope that Denner's luck changes for the better. Thanks again for posting, Raven!

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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 1:21 am 
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Excellent as usual, Mr. Raven. I thoroughly enjoyed this story -- thanks for sharing it!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

I took notes as I was reading, and, then -- because I'm smart like this -- I promptly closed the file without saving it. I know that I can reconstruct the basic gist from memory, but I did lose track of the one typo that I remember seeing. Sorry!

That happened to me once. I don't remember if it was a post, a review, or a story, but I remember I had been working on it for hours. I was NOT happy with myself. And because I have a terrible habit of just leaving Word documents open and unsaved for hours on end, clearly I haven't learned my lesson... :(

Anyway, it's nice to see Denner again, although, as you pointed out, he hasn't been the luckiest guy of late. Actually... Denner hasn't ever really been the luckiest guy, has he? To borrow a bit of poker slang, he seems to have a pretty massive case of the run-bads.

Every once in a while, I get a mental image of Denner humming "Some Guys Have All the Luck," by Rod Stewart. It usually seems appropriate...

It is really gratifying to watch Denner's sort of slow, stuttering personal development -- he has come a pretty long way since we first ran into him. I'm just sorry that his opportunities for personal development keep being so painful. An Outward Bound course, this ain't.

Anyway, Denner has grown on me considerably over the course of WotW and this story. So I'm firmly rooting for him to turn the corner on his losing streak and catch a break sooner rather than later.

I found Denner's "relationship" as it were with Selda to be pretty interesting, and honestly not something I had planned going into it. But yeah, Denner's growth has been very fun to see as we moved from Tears of the Djinn to Kiss of the Shorecerers to WotW to this. I wonder what will come next?

Or...will there be a 'next'?

dun Dun DUN!

(I've always been meaning to ask, but I always forget -- did you choose "delver" as a descriptor for Denner as a reference to Delver of Secrets, or are the two totally unrelated?)

Although I am somewhat reluctant to admit it, I actually don't remember. Sadly, I do not have Denner's memory, nor am I as good as I should be at taking notes while writing stories. (There are several obscure puns and references in my stories for which I honestly don't even remember the precise origin.) I know I was aware of the card when I wrote the original story, but I believe it was unrelated. I believe, though I could be wrong, that I was trying to find a term that would denote him as someone who can and does look for things and people, and Seeker didn't work for me. The first paragraph of "Tears of the Djinn" explains a little about why Denner chooses that term:

Tears of the Djinn


So Delver felt right.

As others have mentioned, I really enjoyed our first expedition to Dammerdall. The depiction of the reputation-based society is fascinating, as are the consequences of being a Naught. In some small ways, Dammerdall reminds me of Aliavelli, (only, you know, this world actually has a plane guide!), and the Naughts remind me of the Nameless. But, actually, when the innkeeper refused Denner's money, the thing which really came bursting into my mind was the scene from Idiocracy when Not Sure goes to the hospital: "He's unscannable!" (And I intend that one-hundred-percent as a compliment -- I love Idiocracy.)

I've actually never seen Idiocracy.

The Noughts do have a lot in common with the Nameless, except that in Dammerdall, a Nought could, potentially, rise above their station, especially if they get some coin behind them. Also, I didn't really get into what a Nought really is. See, on Dammerdall, Reputation is everything. But, also, everybody has one. Bandits and thugs have a Reputation. People who have disgraced themselves and humiliated themselves or their families have one. Sure, it's bad, and many will treat them the way people in this story treated Denner, but they have a Rep. To not have a Rep at all is, in many ways, worse than having a bad Rep. Because, imagine what the assumption is. If Rep is everything and everyone has a Rep, and someone comes around refusing to show his letter? His Rep must be SOOOOO bad that it's better to pretend he doesn't even have one. So everybody literally assumes the worst of a Nought, because there is no other option they can think of. I mean, he "might" be a foreigner, but Dammerdall is also pretty xenophobic unless they stand to make money off trade in the port cities.

In some ways, Rep works sort of like Credit Ratings do. If you meet someone with, say, a credit score of 400 (I believe 300 is the minimum, if I'm remembering correctly) you know that they have pretty bad credit. But if you ask someone what their credit score it, and they say 0? Something's wrong. And then magnify that 100x, because you can still do things on Earth without credit. But Dammerdall without Rep? Much harder...

I actually like the sort of videogame feel to Dammerdall in general and the adventuring party here in particular. The reputation system on this plane (as I understand it, anyway) is so like what you'd see in a videogame, as is the notion that you get more reputation by questing, and the like. It's almost like our brave adventurers are living the gameification dream (or nightmare, depending on your perspective), only they don't realize it. They're on a heroic mission to fill progress bars, and Denner finds himself pulled along for the ride!

I think the story works just fine in its own right, but I like that you can also read it as this kind of running commentary on RPG/adventure conventions. That sort of thing tickles my fancy.

Darklands was an amazing game...

I confess I'm not totally sure what to make of our friend with the two palindromes for names just yet. I find myself wondering to what extent his heel turn at the end was motivated just by the desire to have a captive subject for some experiment he wanted to run, versus the possibility that there is something larger at play here, and that Denner's presence on the scene is not just an unfortunate coincidence. I've learned to be on extreme alert for Larger Goings-On when Raven is involved, after all. :paranoid:

Look who's talking! You played that game deftly, as illustrated by "The Fire".

Long, drawn-out story time!

I first conceived of Cyrryc Adda over a year ago for a different, but somewhat similar story. I'm not going to go into what that was (I might tell you in private some time, but I won't go into it here, for...reasons. At this point, Cyrryc didn't have a name yet. Anyway, I was a month or two into WotW at the time, and then theamazingsquid put together his Hunger Games play-by-post game together, and I needed a character, so I finished up some general stuff, and created this guy (his name was Cyrryc Adder at the time.) Basically, he was an amoral sociopath who would poison anything, just to watch what would happen. Then that fell apart when it got moved from AF&S to Play-by-Post, and Cyrryc was just sort of floating out there. Then, near the end of WotW, I opted to, uh, do to Denner what I did. His connection with Cyrryc seemed obvious then, and I changed the name from Adder to Adda for two reasons, and yes, one of them was to make both names a palindrome, and the other was because I felt it was less silly than having a snakefolk named Adder.

So then it was just a matter of finishing WotW, getting it voted in, creating Dammerdall, and writing this story.

It was all so simple!

:paranoid:

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this one, and I hope that Denner's luck changes for the better. Thanks again for posting, Raven!

We could do a story where he runs into Raiker Venn, Antine and Beryl, and Raiker can give him the option to transfer his poison to one of the others, if you'd like.

:evil:

But that would not be a very nice way to thank you for reading and commenting, so I'll instead just say thanks!


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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 8:46 am 
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Ah-ha! I remembered where the typo was!

Quote:
“If we appealed them, yes!” Waldron retorted.

That was the only one, though, I think.


That happened to me once. I don't remember if it was a post, a review, or a story, but I remember I had been working on it for hours. I was NOT happy with myself. And because I have a terrible habit of just leaving Word documents open and unsaved for hours on end, clearly I haven't learned my lesson...

I do this sort of thing all the time. :(

If I had a nickel for every time I've written a long reply to someone, and then hit "submit," only to discover that my session timed-out while I was writing, I'd have a lot of nickels. And yet I still don't learn...


I found Denner's "relationship" as it were with Selda to be pretty interesting, and honestly not something I had planned going into it. But yeah, Denner's growth has been very fun to see as we moved from Tears of the Djinn to Kiss of the Shorecerers to WotW to this. I wonder what will come next?

I know, right? Denner managed to meet a woman, and to react to her as a person rather than just evaluating her based on her physical appearance!

Progress, Denner! Progress.


See, on Dammerdall, Reputation is everything. But, also, everybody has one. Bandits and thugs have a Reputation. People who have disgraced themselves and humiliated themselves or their families have one. Sure, it's bad, and many will treat them the way people in this story treated Denner, but they have a Rep. To not have a Rep at all is, in many ways, worse than having a bad Rep.

This immediately put Joan Jett into my head. :)

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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 9:22 am 
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Ah-ha! I remembered where the typo was!

Quote:
“If we appealed them, yes!” Waldron retorted.

That was the only one, though, I think.

Hmm. I actually think this was intentional? Like, I think that might be how they would put it? But if it reads too much like a typo, I can certainly go with "appealed to them." I'm not too tied to the phrase.


That happened to me once. I don't remember if it was a post, a review, or a story, but I remember I had been working on it for hours. I was NOT happy with myself. And because I have a terrible habit of just leaving Word documents open and unsaved for hours on end, clearly I haven't learned my lesson...

I do this sort of thing all the time. :(

If I had a nickel for every time I've written a long reply to someone, and then hit "submit," only to discover that my session timed-out while I was writing, I'd have a lot of nickels. And yet I still don't learn...

Fortunately, this is a lesson I have basically learned. I'm in the habit now that (nearly) every time I post anything, I copy the entire post into my clipboard, sometimes into Word. I'll likely even be copying this one!

Also, I nearly always "Preview" the post, which is nice, because even if it has timed out, the message box usually remains filled, so I only need to "preview" it again.


I found Denner's "relationship" as it were with Selda to be pretty interesting, and honestly not something I had planned going into it. But yeah, Denner's growth has been very fun to see as we moved from Tears of the Djinn to Kiss of the Shorecerers to WotW to this. I wonder what will come next?

I know, right? Denner managed to meet a woman, and to react to her as a person rather than just evaluating her based on her physical appearance!

Progress, Denner! Progress.

He does, at one point, note her relative attractiveness, but yeah, he's note so much of a goof as he usually is. :)


See, on Dammerdall, Reputation is everything. But, also, everybody has one. Bandits and thugs have a Reputation. People who have disgraced themselves and humiliated themselves or their families have one. Sure, it's bad, and many will treat them the way people in this story treated Denner, but they have a Rep. To not have a Rep at all is, in many ways, worse than having a bad Rep.

This immediately put Joan Jett into my head. :)

I find this reaction perfectly acceptable.

:D


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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 9:28 am 
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He does, at one point, note her relative attractiveness, but yeah, he's note so much of a goof as he usually is. :)

Baby steps.

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PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2015 11:43 am 
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I really appreciated the D&D flavor actually! This was a fun story but to some extent I'm almost more interested in how the story serves, as others have mentioned, as a critique of adventuring party settings, where NPCs are sort of treated as nonentities or dispensers of rewards.

Poor Denner though :(


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PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2015 3:03 pm 
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I really appreciated the D&D flavor actually! This was a fun story but to some extent I'm almost more interested in how the story serves, as others have mentioned, as a critique of adventuring party settings, where NPCs are sort of treated as nonentities or dispensers of rewards.

Poor Denner though :(

Glad you liked it! I had a lot of fun with the setting and the game-like atmosphere.

And yeah, Denner's not in a good place right now...and won't be for the foreseeable future. That's the price he pays for...um...

:huh:

...being one of my characters, I guess?


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