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[Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse http://862838.jrbdt8wd.asia/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=8271 |
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:26 pm ] |
Post subject: | [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Hello, and welcome to my newest project! (Well, at the time of my typing this. I can't promise that's still true as you read this!) Anyway, this is a return of everyone's favorite dogged Detector, the dashing, daring, determined (and often drunken) Donagut! This one sort of got away from me a bit. I was anticipating about 8000 words. The finished product...is just shy of 20,000. So I'll split it up into five parts for the sake of ease. Enjoy! And as always, comments are welcomed and encouraged by one and all!
Eternal Eclipse
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:27 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Part Two
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:27 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Part Three
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:27 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Part Four
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:28 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Part Five
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Author: | OrcishLibrarian [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 10:01 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
RavenoftheBlack wrote: This one sort of got away from me a bit. I was anticipating about 8000 words. The finished product...is just shy of 20,000. So I'll split it up into five parts for the sake of ease. Man, oh, man, is that a feeling I can relate to these days... You're having quite the burst of productivity of late, Raven! Do you get the sense that some of these things were just pent-up behind WotW? I know you've been tackling your list of ideas, but I wonder if you also feel re-energized just by having some freedom to work on different things? RavenoftheBlack wrote: Enjoy! *rubs hands together* Oh, I will. I will. |
Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:25 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
OrcishLibrarian wrote: RavenoftheBlack wrote: This one sort of got away from me a bit. I was anticipating about 8000 words. The finished product...is just shy of 20,000. So I'll split it up into five parts for the sake of ease. Man, oh, man, is that a feeling I can relate to these days... You're having quite the burst of productivity of late, Raven! Do you get the sense that some of these things were just pent-up behind WotW? I know you've been tackling your list of ideas, but I wonder if you also feel re-energized just by having some freedom to work on different things? That's probably a good way of putting it, yes. See, War of the Wheel was a huge project, and very, very time consuming. Also, I set myself a pretty stringent timetable for it. I was very clear with myself that, in general, I wanted a chapter a week. And, because I often put things off longer than I should, I usually ended up starting chapters on, say, Friday night, writing a little here and there throughout Friday and Saturday, and then digging into things Sunday or Monday or occasionally Tuesday. On top of that, I had nearly 100 students throughout the fall, and therefore nearly 100 papers to grade every few weeks, and smaller assignments throughout. It was hard enough finding time to write anything, and when I wrote, I felt obligated to write War of the Wheel. And so, other ideas built up as I went. The idea for this story, for example, came several months ago. In fact, I had this second Donagut story in mind even as I was writing the first one four months ago. But I knew this one would be time consuming (I was working on it pretty constantly for the past five or six days, which is a long time for me to work on one piece.) So, it got shuffled to the back. Now, admittedly, I did several non-WotW pieces throughout writing WotW. Looking back, Raiker Venn was created after I started WotW. So was Nasperge, Donagut, Blink, the plane of Thorneau, and that story about Merritt, the Jakkard shootist. So I've still done a decent amount of writing over and above the novel, but there are likely several other stories that we haven't seen because I was otherwise engaged. Now, having said that, War of the Wheel is hardly a negative influence on that front. Because of it, and my summer procrastination therein, I have sort of developed the habit of writing regularly. So stories tend to come out quicker than they used to, hopefully better (I hope I'm constantly improving) and, quite simply, I do it more. I get the urge to write easily at least once a week. Some of the stories I had planned from before, some are new, but there's always more to write. Ideas, I've found, and almost always the easy part. I invariably have more ideas than I have time for. Sometimes these ideas get scrapped completely, sometimes they change either before or during the writing process, and sometimes they come out almost exactly as I envisioned them. But there are always more ideas. Now, sadly, I'll probably be slowing down again for a bit. There are one or two more projects I'm considering priorities, but I need to get back to War of the Wheel. It's time for revisions. Now, honestly, I've never been much for revisions, so they should go fairly quickly. I'll be looking through the comments people made in the discussion thread and Luna's Delusion Requiem thread, fixing the errors, perhaps reworking some things, perhaps rearranging some things, but I want to get them up for vote by the anniversary of my posting the first chapter (the prologue). That is March 25th. So I have a little over a month to polish WotW to a nice veneer and send her out into the world to meet her fate at the gates of the Great Archive (hmm. Sounds like there's a story somewhere in that sentence.) So, depending on how well or poorly that goes, my time for other projects may again be limited for the next month. But we'll see what happens. After all, you never know when someone will make an innocent, off-handed comment that I'll turn into a pun and then a story! Anyway, as I said, this is a long one, so take your time. But I am (as always) interested in what people have to say about this one! |
Author: | OrcishLibrarian [ Sat Feb 21, 2015 12:14 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
RavenoftheBlack wrote: That's probably a good way of putting it, yes. See, War of the Wheel was a huge project, and very, very time consuming. Also, I set myself a pretty stringent timetable for it. I was very clear with myself that, in general, I wanted a chapter a week. And, because I often put things off longer than I should, I usually ended up starting chapters on, say, Friday night, writing a little here and there throughout Friday and Saturday, and then digging into things Sunday or Monday or occasionally Tuesday. On top of that, I had nearly 100 students throughout the fall, and therefore nearly 100 papers to grade every few weeks, and smaller assignments throughout. It was hard enough finding time to write anything, and when I wrote, I felt obligated to write War of the Wheel. And so, other ideas built up as I went. The idea for this story, for example, came several months ago. In fact, I had this second Donagut story in mind even as I was writing the first one four months ago. But I knew this one would be time consuming (I was working on it pretty constantly for the past five or six days, which is a long time for me to work on one piece.) So, it got shuffled to the back. Now, admittedly, I did several non-WotW pieces throughout writing WotW. Looking back, Raiker Venn was created after I started WotW. So was Nasperge, Donagut, Blink, the plane of Thorneau, and that story about Merritt, the Jakkard shootist. So I've still done a decent amount of writing over and above the novel, but there are likely several other stories that we haven't seen because I was otherwise engaged. Now, having said that, War of the Wheel is hardly a negative influence on that front. Because of it, and my summer procrastination therein, I have sort of developed the habit of writing regularly. So stories tend to come out quicker than they used to, hopefully better (I hope I'm constantly improving) and, quite simply, I do it more. I get the urge to write easily at least once a week. Some of the stories I had planned from before, some are new, but there's always more to write. Ideas, I've found, and almost always the easy part. I invariably have more ideas than I have time for. Sometimes these ideas get scrapped completely, sometimes they change either before or during the writing process, and sometimes they come out almost exactly as I envisioned them. But there are always more ideas. Now, sadly, I'll probably be slowing down again for a bit. There are one or two more projects I'm considering priorities, but I need to get back to War of the Wheel. It's time for revisions. Now, honestly, I've never been much for revisions, so they should go fairly quickly. I'll be looking through the comments people made in the discussion thread and Luna's Delusion Requiem thread, fixing the errors, perhaps reworking some things, perhaps rearranging some things, but I want to get them up for vote by the anniversary of my posting the first chapter (the prologue). That is March 25th. So I have a little over a month to polish WotW to a nice veneer and send her out into the world to meet her fate at the gates of the Great Archive (hmm. Sounds like there's a story somewhere in that sentence.) So, depending on how well or poorly that goes, my time for other projects may again be limited for the next month. But we'll see what happens. Well, since we're the beneficiaries of all your fine writing -- both pre-, intra-, and post-WotW -- I'll just reiterate how great it is to get to enjoy all of it. RavenoftheBlack wrote: After all, you never know when someone will make an innocent, off-handed comment that I'll turn into a pun and then a story! Also, that. RavenoftheBlack wrote: Anyway, as I said, this is a long one, so take your time. But I am (as always) interested in what people have to say about this one! Well, it turns out that I have many things to say -- starting with how much I enjoyed reading this, which was a lot. Thanks for sharing, Raven!
wherein more things are said
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Sat Feb 21, 2015 1:38 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
@Orcish
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Author: | RuwinReborn [ Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:52 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
:O Yesssssss! Martial Artists! (Not to be confused with marital artists...) This story had exactly 1000% more Kung Fu than I was expecting, which was a pleasant surprise. Donagut intrigued me in his first story (Which I'm not sure I ever commented on...?) with Blink, and I find myself even more intrigued by him now. I guess I'm sort of a sucker for scruffy planeswalkers with an addiction. Sue me. This story, specifically, had me asking a great many questions alongside Donagut, which I think is a mark of how well it is written. It's interesting, actually, because I found that I wasn't reading because of any desire to find out what had happened to the viashino, but because I enjoyed watching Donagut do so. Plus, there was punching! Punching is good. Names were a little, uh, hard for me to remember. That's less of a critique and more of a "Ruwin doesn't do very well with names" sort of thing. So, I'll be referring to the three people Donagut fights as "Tonfa", "Smiley", and "The Ninja Lady". At least, I'll be doing so in my head. As for the eternal eclipse... well, two things come to mind. First, their views on strength and weakness - as well as their prophecies regarding impending doom - are very similar to Clade's. Second, Jinsen and/or Kimberley is going to fight these people at some point. Some how. Some way. This is happening. THIS IS HAPPENING. *Cough* ...With your permission, of course. I have a few questions, and will shoot you a PM later containing them. Anyway, this was a great read and I enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for posting, Raven! |
Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Sat Feb 21, 2015 3:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
@Ruwin: Thanks for reading and commenting! Really glad you enjoyed it! The Kung Fu/martial arts was something that I was only able to briefly touch on in "Eye for an Eye" (which you did, in fact, comment on!) and so it was something I wanted to include in this story. The Eternal Eclipse organization focuses on strength through the martial arts, which is why all three of the devotees we've seen were master martial artists. Plus, as I've said, I do love a good martial arts story. I'm glad following along with Donagut was fun. It was interesting watching his approach. After all, he knew exactly what happened to Kuweide Hua, so it always seemed interesting that he was asking if she was there. But, he wasn't trying to find out where she was. He was trying to learn anything he could about her. So he played it cool...for the most part. It was interesting watching it develop as he moved through Nuwar, Quanyan, Hangu and Ameshima. As for the rest of what you said, well, let's just say that we've got things to discuss... But seriously, thanks for reading! |
Author: | KeeperofManyNames [ Sun Feb 22, 2015 9:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
I liked this! And the previous Donagut story! I actually to be honest liked this a bit better than the previous Donagut story. There was a bit more meat to it and we got to really see Donagut's powers in full. And kung fu detective stories are great. I want to at some point take the time to really formulate a response but right now I'm deep in Thesis Hell and am way behind with everything due to being sick for a week so honestly I'm feeling kind of too frazzled right now to give detailed feedback? I'm interested in seeing where this is going though. And I, like Ruwin, find it interesting how similar this cult's beliefs are to Clade's... I'll be eager to see more from Donagut in the future. |
Author: | OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 2:18 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
RavenoftheBlack wrote: Even against my own better judgment, I keep hearing Donagut talk like Sam from Sam and Max. Oh, good call. Now I'm going to hear that, too. Can he get a wisecracking sidekick? RavenoftheBlack wrote: There are a lot of Donagut narration moments I was really happy with, but I think the flask one you pointed out is probably my favorite. Also, I'm really happy with the firs two paragraphs. I love doing these sorts of introductions for Donagut. It always reminds me of Tracer Bullet, Calvin's private eye character in Calvin and Hobbes. That's another super good comparison. Man, I'd actually forgotten about Tracer Bullet! Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how ridiculously good Calvin and Hobbes is? (Mrs. OL anecdote of the week: Mrs. OL never read Calvin and Hobbes when she was growing up. Once I regained consciousness after learning this, I made a vow to rectify it. I think that the first real present I ever gave her was my collection of Calvin and Hobbes books.) RavenoftheBlack wrote: I have to admit, I never watched Columbo, so I don't know what Peter Falk's reason was. But Donagut hates his first name. It's Fydorian. He never uses it. That was just one of Columbo's disarming mannerisms. Whenever anyone would ask him what his first name was, he would say "just Columbo." Except for once or twice, when he said "Lieutenant." I think you would like Columbo. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, Lovejoy did something similar, too. Whenever someone called him Mr. Lovejoy, he'd always say: "Just Lovejoy. No 'Mister.'" I wonder why that mannerism has become something of a trope for savvy detectives? RavenoftheBlack wrote: For the record, and I don't think I made this clear in the story, the Eternal Eclipse is both Yeong Eode's name for this apparent coming event, but also the name of her organization, thus the symbol. I may have to insert a line in there about that. Ah, I failed to grok that. Thanks for setting me straight. RavenoftheBlack wrote: As for not having a solid handle on Yeong and her crew, you're right. That was more or less the intention. I think we have some sort of a view of Dizhen Shan and Thong Mu Beu, but both Yeong Eode and Katto Soyokaze are still pretty obscure. Maybe it's just the initials, but Katto Soyokaze's name made me think of a famous Kevin Spacey role... I'm probably reading way too much into that. But, given that it's Raven we're dealing with here, it's hard to read too much into things... RuwinReborn wrote: Second, Jinsen and/or Kimberley is going to fight these people at some point. Some how. Some way. This is happening. THIS IS HAPPENING. Take it away, Carl Douglas! (Fun fact: "Kung Fu Fighting" was written and recorded in a single studio session, because Carl Douglas needed a B-side for the single he was planning to release. It's one of those rare instances of a song which was originally intended as a B-side becoming a hit.) |
Author: | Hydriatus [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 11:47 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
I really enjoyed this story - the characterization was perfect, as already mentioned. The phrasing was wonderful and really caught the snarky tone of film noir. Donagut's first name is Fydorian? Shortened to Fydo often I take it? |
Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 11:50 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Hydriatus wrote: I really enjoyed this story - the characterization was perfect, as already mentioned. The phrasing was wonderful and really caught the snarky tone of film noir. Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. Hydriatus wrote: Donagut's first name is Fydorian? Shortened to Fydo often I take it? Not if you want to stay on his good side! |
Author: | KeeperofManyNames [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:49 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
oh my god that pun |
Author: | RuwinReborn [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 2:24 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Jesus I didn't even notice that. Uggggghhh. Raven, whyyyy. I think you're going to fit in great around here, Hydriatus. |
Author: | Hydriatus [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 2:27 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
RuwinReborn wrote: Jesus I didn't even notice that. Uggggghhh. Raven, whyyyy. Dunno why I noticed it meself... Donagut really needs to meet a cheeky type character who will endlessly needle him with that nickname... |
Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:04 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
KeeperofManyNames wrote: oh my god that pun RuwinReborn wrote: Jesus I didn't even notice that. Uggggghhh. Raven, whyyyy. You can never let your defenses down with me! There are more pun names out there of mine, I assure you. In fact, I promise. Hydriatus wrote: Donagut really needs to meet a cheeky type character who will endlessly needle him with that nickname... I could certainly see this happening. |
Author: | KeeperofManyNames [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 5:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story] [Donagut] Eternal Eclipse |
Hydriatus, you should be forewarned that if Raven CAN fit a terrible pun into one of his stories, not only will he but he'll also find a way of sticking ten more in there as well. >_< His first major work for the project was a story entitled, if you can believe this, "The Planes of the Dual-Walkers." That story resulted in several other short stories and one full length novel, all predicated on that one freaking pun. |
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