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PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2015 12:20 am 
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Okay, so, I have about five things on my "To-Write" list that I'm considering relatively high priority. Not that any of them NEED to get done soon, mind you, but things I'd like to focus on. Anyway, yesterday, this story popped into my head, and so naturally, I ignored my priorities and wrote this instead!

Enjoy!

Promises, Promises


Last edited by RavenoftheBlack on Fri Apr 19, 2024 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:27 am 
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Still getting around to read this; so far, quite intense.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2015 3:01 pm 
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Raven, I just wanted to put a stake in the ground and say that I'm going to read this as soon as I can. I look forward to every story you post, and this is no exception.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 10:07 am 
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This was marvelous, Raven! Thanks so much for posting.

Thoughts and ramblings

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 11:32 am 
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@Orcish:


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 2:12 pm 
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@ Raven

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 1:13 am 
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I love what you've done with the place Raven :D

Really, I think this is a great take on two of our oldest planes, the cultures of those planes, and how they might interact. This is a lovely story and I think there's a great sincerity to the characters that's really charming. I kind of forgot about this idea you had mentioned to me but when I saw the basic conceit taking shape I knew exactly where it was going. I'm really glad you didn't conclude the story yet though. I think this opens up some great space for Jade as a character and I already have a very solid idea for a way of piggy backing off of this (though I need to check with a certain someone to see if the idea will work...) so thanks for accidentally giving me a piece of a puzzle that I've actually been trying to put together for a while now :D

There's a lot of little touches here that others have mentioned that I loved, so I won't reiterate them all here (besides the tiger thing--that was fantastic!). Rather I'll just say very very well done, sir.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 1:28 am 
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I love what you've done with the place Raven :D

Really, I think this is a great take on two of our oldest planes, the cultures of those planes, and how they might interact. This is a lovely story and I think there's a great sincerity to the characters that's really charming. I kind of forgot about this idea you had mentioned to me but when I saw the basic conceit taking shape I knew exactly where it was going. I'm really glad you didn't conclude the story yet though. I think this opens up some great space for Jade as a character and I already have a very solid idea for a way of piggy backing off of this (though I need to check with a certain someone to see if the idea will work...) so thanks for accidentally giving me a piece of a puzzle that I've actually been trying to put together for a while now :D

There's a lot of little touches here that others have mentioned that I loved, so I won't reiterate them all here (besides the tiger thing--that was fantastic!). Rather I'll just say very very well done, sir.

Thanks, Keeper! I appreciate the read and the comments. Funnily, when I very first sat down to write this story, I hadn't yet decided on the Jade connection. I mean, that came relatively quickly in the process, but it wasn't there initially. But with everything else I wanted to do (and there's a surprising amount of little things in this piece) it just seemed to fit. And if it helps you with something you're working on, so much the better!

By the way, did you pick up on the song references? I'm a little concerned about how mad they'll make you...

...but just a little concerned!

:plot:


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 2:40 am 
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Hmmm, very interesting. Very, very interesting.

First off: More Kor! Yay! I really like the Kor from an aesthetic viewpoint (and so does Thatis, apparently WINK WONK) so I'm glad we're seeing more of them. I need to brush up on Ikass - is that the one that's like... flat? With the ratfolk and the vedalken, and there's some sort of god person or...

Whatever, I'll look it up.

Anyway, this was a good read! I'm left wanting more and I haven't decided yet if that's a good or a bad thing. I'm also very interested to see where Jade goes from here - Have I mentioned how pleased I am that she met Raleris, by the way? I'm pleased she met Raleris. I think they'd make a great pair.

One thing I noticed as I read that stuck with me throughout the entire story was the last line of the first section with Symparu, "The sky began to rain." The voice here sort of threw me, because it struck me as very passive? I don't know, I might be nit-picking, but I just couldn't really fathom why the sky, specifically, was raining. I fixate on wierd things. O_O

Anyway, thanks for posting Raven, excellent work as usual. I'm glad no one died in this story! Though I suppose the plot is still young.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 9:30 am 
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@Raven:

See that surprises me because when you told me this idea months ago Jade was like the core part of it. :P Did she slip back out only to slip back in again?

I haven't picked up the song references so I need to go back through and figure them out >_>

I also wanted to note that the double meaning of "promise" in the story is delightful.

@Ruwin:

Ikass is Spooky Mystery Plane :D


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:54 am 
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Hmmm, very interesting. Very, very interesting.

First off: More Kor! Yay! I really like the Kor from an aesthetic viewpoint (and so does Thatis, apparently WINK WONK) so I'm glad we're seeing more of them.

"Once you go Kor, you'll go back no more?" Something like that...

One thing I noticed as I read that stuck with me throughout the entire story was the last line of the first section with Symparu, "The sky began to rain." The voice here sort of threw me, because it struck me as very passive? I don't know, I might be nit-picking, but I just couldn't really fathom why the sky, specifically, was raining. I fixate on wierd things. O_O

I actually sort of agonized over that line (and now you get to, I guess!) I originally wrote it as it is. Then, when I read back over it, I thought it sounded a little off, and I almost changed it to "It started to rain." But then I reconsidered. I actually kind of like it this way. The phrase "It started to rain" is, in some ways, even more passive, and it's also always struck me as weird. We say it all the time: "It's raining," "It's snowing," "It's windy," but we never really think about what the pronoun is referring to. So I figured that maybe the Kor, as wanderers (as much as they can be on Ikass, anyway) would feel more of a connection to the sky under which they wander, thus filling in that mysterious "it." So I kept the line the way it was. Was it the right call? Who knows?

Hmmm, very interesting. Very, very interesting.

...

Anyway, this was a good read! I'm left wanting more and I haven't decided yet if that's a good or a bad thing. I'm also very interested to see where Jade goes from here - Have I mentioned how pleased I am that she met Raleris, by the way? I'm pleased she met Raleris. I think they'd make a great pair.

...

Anyway, thanks for posting Raven, excellent work as usual. I'm glad no one died in this story! Though I suppose the plot is still young.

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! I had fun writing it. As for the Jade/Raleris pairing, we mostly owe that to Keeper. If memory serves, it was my idea to match them up in a story, but Keeper's idea to connect them on a longer timescale (plus he wrote the section of "Breaking Form" where they interacted.) So, thanks, Keeper!

@Raven:

See that surprises me because when you told me this idea months ago Jade was like the core part of it. :P Did she slip back out only to slip back in again?

Well, there's sort of more to it than that. See, when I first sat down to write this iteration of the story, the dream connection wasn't a part of it yet. Honestly, Symparu and Ikass weren't a part of it yet. At first, it was just about Thatis. So that's how Jade didn't enter into it. Then I decided to merge the story I wanted to tell about Thatis with that cross-planar dream sequence/Jade thing, and that's when it all came together into what you see here.

Similarly, I momentarily flirted with the idea of telling the entire thing from Jade's point of view (or at least a 3rd person narration which focused on Jade). Ultimately, though, I felt it was much stronger to tell the story from Thatis and Symparu's respective points of view, and put Jade in there as a reveal, because I knew Jade wasn't going to have any agency within the span of this part of the story.

Incidentally, I have no immediate plans for continuing this, so if you want to, Keeper, I'd be fine with you picking it up where I left off. If not, I'm sure I'll get back to it eventually.

I haven't picked up the song references so I need to go back through and figure them out >_>

Have fun! (And try not to get too angry! hehehe)

I also wanted to note that the double meaning of "promise" in the story is delightful.

I have to admit, I was pretty pleased with that, myself, and for more reasons than you yet know. :plot:


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:48 am 
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I'm pretty sure it was your idea to have her as a potential apprentice and I just sort of took what could have been a fairly simple interaction and added layers and layers of excessive complication :P As I do.

Actually the idea of Jade and Raleris seemed very strange to me at first--unintuitive--but I kind of like that slight disjunction. I think there's good story potential there, and I think it actually maybe makes more sense than having like an ideal apprentice for Raleris.

Hm, which makes me think that a meeting between our two master/apprentice groups might be interesting...


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 2:28 pm 
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I'm pretty sure it was your idea to have her as a potential apprentice and I just sort of took what could have been a fairly simple interaction and added layers and layers of excessive complication :P As I do.

Actually the idea of Jade and Raleris seemed very strange to me at first--unintuitive--but I kind of like that slight disjunction. I think there's good story potential there, and I think it actually maybe makes more sense than having like an ideal apprentice for Raleris.

Yeah, it was my idea to have her be a potential apprentice. But then I strong-armed you into writing gently passed the piece on to you, and you made the call to actually have Jade go with Raleris, though for how long and to what end, we have yet to know.

Also, I would just like to say at this point that I'm really proud of the little meta-nod at the end of this story when she ponders whether or not Raleris knows anything about Ikass. I don't know why, but I love those little moments where readers (well, some readers, anyway) know more than the characters.

Hm, which makes me think that a meeting between our two master/apprentice groups might be interesting...

Maybe Raiker could use an apprentice. That would end well. Maybe Blink? I could see her leaving little poems behind...


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