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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 7:16 pm 
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Hello, dear friends!

I am very pleased to share a new Beryl story with you, titled "Complications."

This story has been in the works for nearly half a year at this point, so it feels really wonderful to finally be able to share it with all of you. As such, I am sorely tempted to provide some sort of long, rambling introduction. But I'll restrict myself to just offering a big, sincere thanks to the good Barinellos, who has been involved with this piece in pretty much every conceivable way, from helping with the initial idea to offering wonderful contributions to the final product.

Thanks again, sir, for all your help, and for bringing such a wonderful character to the table.

As always, your thoughts and suggestions are most welcome. I hope you enjoy the story.

Complications

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Last edited by OrcishLibrarian on Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 8:49 pm 
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Ah, very good stuff. I was wondering if these two characters' paths were going to cross, considering Alessa's past stories. I really liked their interactions. Alessa was very effective at opening Beryl up, and it was good to see some of these emotions from Beryl. I think you handled Alessa's panic attack wonderfully, and I love the shuffling thing (I know she's done that before, but it played really well here.)

Also, I really love Beryl's mother's letter. You do heart-felt letters very well, and this one adds an awesome layer of intrigue that really makes me interested in Aliavelli. I feel like I end a lot of my reviews this way, but I'll say it none-the-less: I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes!

I spotted a handful of typos or small mistakes, which I will illuminate hereafter:

typos


So, as per usual, excellent work. Thank you!


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:29 pm 
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Well, you know that I read this like 3 times, at least, so far, but I also know that I always want as many comments as possible in response to my own stories so... (Then again, I contributed, so would that seem just a little vain?)

Anyways! Naturally, you know I like this. I think it all came together extremely well, and I'm glad that you had fun writing it and that it's done so much for Beryl. I'm delighted to have been part of that. Beryl is as great as normal, per usual, and I hope everyone enjoys Alessa (and perhaps gets ideas about using her.)

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Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:55 pm 
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Barinellos wrote:
and I hope everyone enjoys Alessa (and perhaps gets ideas about using her.)

She does seem to want that... ;)


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:59 pm 
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Barinellos wrote:
and I hope everyone enjoys Alessa (and perhaps gets ideas about using her.)

She does seem to want that... ;)

Eww....
Let's not get the wrong idea about how the power dynamics of her relationships work.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 10:08 pm 
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Barinellos wrote:
Barinellos wrote:
and I hope everyone enjoys Alessa (and perhaps gets ideas about using her.)

She does seem to want that... ;)

Eww....
Let's not get the wrong idea about how the power dynamics of her relationships work.

So...she can use them, but they can't use her?


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 10:12 pm 
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So...she can use them, but they can't use her?
It's fun times between consenting adults. There is no power-play between her partners. She isn't into "using".
If someone reading this is into the sub/dom relationship, there's nothing wrong with that, but she just doesn't swing that way.
I feel like that's as much derailing as we should do for the thread though.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 10:17 pm 
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D'oh! Typos fixed -- thanks, Raven!

I always give myself a special demerit whenever "eyes" slips through. I'd managed to go two or three stories without doing that.

Anyway, I'm really, really glad you enjoyed the story. The impetus for putting these characters together was that it seemed like they would have some interesting things to say to each other, and I'm happy that the story seems to have delivered on that premise.

The good Barin did his part to set the table back in April, or something like that. It took me, well... a little bit longer than I expected to follow through on my end of things.

Like you said, Alessa has the right combination of attitude and life experience to kind of pull Beryl out of her shell a little bit, and I was really fascinated to see what Beryl had to say in the moments where her guard was down. It was a peek at some aspects of her life and self-image which she has been keeping locked away, and I think/hope it was cathartic for her to finally be able to talk about them.

And, yeah, I'm kind of just now realizing that my stories tend to feature more than their fair share of letters? I guess I really like letters. I'm glad that this one worked. We've really seen very, very little of Moira, despite how large her shadow has loomed over Beryl's life. So I hope that the letter starts to color-in the picture of her a little bit.

Again, thanks for reading!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:11 pm 
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Hmm.

I'm going to have to read this over again before I comment. It may be a while.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:21 pm 
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Why am I filled with a sudden sense of foreboding?

Thanks for reading!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:23 pm 
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Why am I filled with a sudden sense of foreboding?

Thanks for reading!

Because you're all for boating?

To the Lake! Hazzah!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:24 pm 
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I did buy us a bulk order of straw boater hats for our Vaudeville shtick. Enough for everyone to have extras, if they want.

Four boater hats for all!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:27 pm 
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I did buy us a bulk order of straw boater hats for our Vaudeville shtick. Enough for everyone to have extras, if they want.

Four boater hats for all!

Well done. Take a bow!

Which, of course, is at the front of a ship...

Or, you know, the fore-boat thing.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:43 pm 
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As much as I'd love to pretend like I haven't spent the last 10 minutes trying to think of a rejoinder to that, I'm honest enough to admit when I've been bested.

I'll have to pick myself up off the floor. Which I believe is called the "deck," right? That's the correct nautical term for a floor-boater-thingy?

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:48 pm 
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I'll have to pick myself up off the floor. Which I believe is called the "deck," right? That's the correct nautical term for a floor-boater-thingy?

Indeed it is, my friend. Indeed it is!

:clap:


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:56 pm 
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You're the gold standard for punditry, Raven. The rest of us just do our best to try to live up to the example.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 11:55 pm 
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I enjoyed the story. I think you handled the more awkward scenes in a very sensitive manner, which is very important in a piece like this. The relationship between the characters had a lot of juicy complexity, and Alessa's reaction to the Duchess' mark spoke volumes.

I also enjoyed the puns after the story.

So, my hat is off to you, for both things.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 12:03 am 
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Aaarrrgh wrote:
So, my hat is off to you, for both things.

Uh-oh, it looks like you lost your hat, there!

Here, have four boater hats.

:)

Anyway, thanks for much for reading, Aaarrrgh -- I'm really glad you enjoyed the story.

Aaarrrgh wrote:
I think you handled the more awkward scenes in a very sensitive manner, which is very important in a piece like this.

I really hope people feel this way. I didn't want to shy away from Beryl's feelings or experiences in any respect, because I think (or hope, I guess) the fact that Beryl is finally connecting with this part of herself is beautiful. But I also didn't want that part of the story to read as prurient, or like we're gawking. So, if the balance is more or less correct, then I'm relieved.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 12:10 am 
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Yeah, I usually don't like that kind of scene, but I think you pulled it off.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 2:21 am 
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Alrighty. I am now going to comment on this story.

Me, commenting on this story

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