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PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:30 am 
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Hello, friends!

I am really excited to present a new story to you all. This one is titled "A Name in a Book," and it is the latest installment in Beryl's ongoing saga, occurring immediately after "Between Two Worlds."

(I feel kind of crummy about posting this on a Tuesday, because I have come to think of Tuesdays as Raven's days. So, if you're following "The War of the Wheel" as eagerly as I am, then please head on over to Raven's thread and give that a read first. But, once you're done with that, I hope you'll enjoy this piece as well; this story has been in the works for some time, and I'm really excited to finally be able to share it with all of you.)

I know I have a pesky tendency to preamble these stories to death, so I'll just limit myself to offering some well-deserved thanks, and then I'll get out of the way. I want to say "thank you" to everyone who has read and commented on the previous Beryl stories -- seeing Beryl through your eyes is a constant source of revelation. And I want to say an especially big "thank you" to Barinellos, for lending Alessa to this particular project, for his thoughtful comments on (many!) earlier drafts of this story, and for being a constant source of ideas and insights throughout the development of this whole storyline. I suspect that anyone reading this piece will be able to recognize his numerous contributions throughout.

Anyway, as ever, your thoughts, comments, and suggestions are most welcome. And, as ever, I hope you will find something here to enjoy.

I. Breaking

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Last edited by OrcishLibrarian on Sun Dec 21, 2014 9:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:31 am 
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II. Entering

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Last edited by OrcishLibrarian on Sun Dec 21, 2014 9:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:55 am 
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(I feel kind of crummy about posting this on a Tuesday, because I have come to think of Tuesdays as Raven's days. So, if you're following "The War of the Wheel" as eagerly as I am, then please head on over to Raven's thread and give that a read first. But, once you're done with that, I hope you'll enjoy this piece as well; this story has been in the works for some time, and I'm really excited to finally be able to share it with all of you.)

No reason to feel bad. I assure you, I have no claim on days (unless proposition 13 passes, and we all hope it will. If it does, party at my place next week Ravensday!) Anyway, I am reminded of something I read once:

We need a rule around these parts - people never need to apologize for posting material, no matter how much other stuff there may be. More is better, and stories aren't like bread - they're not going to go stale if they sit for a while.


So, as such, I'm pumped to read this, and will attempt to do so tonight, if time allows.

Thanks for posting!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:37 pm 
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(I feel kind of crummy about posting this on a Tuesday, because I have come to think of Tuesdays as Raven's days. So, if you're following "The War of the Wheel" as eagerly as I am, then please head on over to Raven's thread and give that a read first. But, once you're done with that, I hope you'll enjoy this piece as well; this story has been in the works for some time, and I'm really excited to finally be able to share it with all of you.)

No reason to feel bad. I assure you, I have no claim on days (unless proposition 13 passes, and we all hope it will. If it does, party at my place next week Ravensday!) Anyway, I am reminded of something I read once:

We need a rule around these parts - people never need to apologize for posting material, no matter how much other stuff there may be. More is better, and stories aren't like bread - they're not going to go stale if they sit for a while.


So, as such, I'm pumped to read this, and will attempt to do so tonight, if time allows.

Thanks for posting!

Hah, hoist by my own petard!

Thank God I think I also said something about how I don't consider hypocrisy to be the worst of sins, because I commit that one a lot...

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:05 pm 
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I am VERY appreciative of this work for a variety of reasons. First among those reasons is how absolutely hilarious Alessa is. Without the sort of strange constraints she inhabited in the last work she appeared in, she is much more likeable and lively overall. I think it comes from her lack of ulterior motives - since the reader knows she means nothing untoward towards Beryl, it's much easier to parse her personality from her forward behavior. If that makes sense? Anyway, I'm impressed.

"Tease of the First Order" is Beryl's new official title. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Very glad to see this story moving forward! With any luck, there will be a great tying up of ongoing storylines as the year turns, what with WOTW and this plot reaching their respective thrilling conclusions.

Very good work, and thanks for posting!

(As for the rest of you, apologies for my absence! I'll be MIA for a time yet and have just barely mustered the energy to reply to this on my phone. Raven: The past two chapter of the Wheel have been a delight. I look forward to it weekly.)

Cheers!

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:24 pm 
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Hah, hoist by my own petard!

Thank God I think I also said something about how I don't consider hypocrisy to be the worst of sins, because I commit that one a lot...

To be fair, your comment from "The Jaded Cat" said there was no need to apologize, and technically, you didn't apologize, so I think you're fine!

Alright, so, I've read this story, and I think it's wonderful. Like Ruwin, I like Alessa in this story much better than I typically like her. It may be because of her lack of ulterior motives, or maybe an absence of the general hypocrisy that I often attribute to her, but I like the buddy thing between her and Beryl. They play off one another well, I think.

Something tells me that by the time Beryl's story is all told, it'll be longer than War of the Wheel! (Which is not a bad thing, of course!)

I really enjoyed the description of Alessa's chaos-affected room. That was marvelous (and not just because of the Aubedore reference.) Speaking of references, don't think I didn't notice the "Pariah" shout-out in there. I find it VERY interesting that Beryl would opt to tell that story of all stories, a story in which someone gifted in precognition makes a major and willing sacrifice for the good of others...

I really liked the vault, as well, and the big ass book 'o names. I also like all the subtle hints you drop about other possible stories hiding out in the vicinity of this story. Some of those spoilery questions include: Why do people always start with the first one? and What is the history between Nasperge and Alessa? and How much time has Alessa spent on Mirrodin, considering her mention of spellbombs and the Neurok Stealthsuit? and of course, What is the story with her getting that suit? I always like stuff like that.

Anyway, I do have a few typos/problems that I wanted to mention:

Issues


Anyway, thanks so much for writing this! I really enjoyed it, and, as is often the case, I look forward to seeing the next step in Beryl's journey!

Raven: The past two chapter of the Wheel have been a delight. I look forward to it weekly.)

Thanks! I hope you liked the Fisco part. Personally, I loved it!


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2014 12:43 am 
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Ruwin and Raven, thanks so much for reading, and for your thoughtful (as ever!) comments. I'm so, so glad that you both enjoyed the story!


I am VERY appreciative of this work for a variety of reasons. First among those reasons is how absolutely hilarious Alessa is. Without the sort of strange constraints she inhabited in the last work she appeared in, she is much more likeable and lively overall. I think it comes from her lack of ulterior motives - since the reader knows she means nothing untoward towards Beryl, it's much easier to parse her personality from her forward behavior. If that makes sense? Anyway, I'm impressed.

I'm glad that you enjoyed Alessa in this story. I do think/hope that we get a look at Alessa from a different angle than the one we've seen before, and, over the course of working on this piece, I've felt excited, privileged, and nervous about having the chance to try to show that different side of her. So, if people feel like it works, then I'm delighted.

Now, as ever, I'll defer to Barinellos for the final word on Alessa-related matters. For all the time that he and I have spent discussing her over the past few months, there are still times where I think we look at her a little bit differently. Which, from a creative perspective, I think is exciting, because I hope that it means that we push each other to understand her better, and we discover new things in the process. But it also means that I don't want to ever proclaim my interpretation of her as the correct one, since he's the ultimate authority. As such, take my thoughts about Alessa with an appropriate grain of salt, and I hope that the good Barin will chime in if he thinks I'm misrepresenting Alessa here.

But, for me, I think one of the really key moments in my understanding this story, and the dynamics that play out between Beryl and Alessa, was when I started to realize that each of them sees something in the other which reminds them of themselves.

For Beryl, I think she has a real moment of epiphany when she realizes that Alessa is lonely. It's strange to think of Alessa as lonely, because we usually see her living this very kind of out-there life. But, for all the time she spends in the company of others, what she doesn't really have are people who care about her as a person, and whom she can have a relationship based on friendship and trust. Which means that, at the end of the day, she is very much on her own. (I think Barin first called my attention to this, and it was a real eye-opener for me.) And that's something which Beryl recognizes, because that has been so much a part of her own life, and has been the source of so many of her own pathologies. As she says, loneliness gives you the time to come to believe your worst fears about yourself, and I think Beryl sees that in Alessa, beneath Alessa's armor of cynicism. And I think that Beryl was a critical moment in her own development here, where she tries to help Alessa in the same way that people like Aloise and Nasperge have helped her.

Alessa, for her part, looks at Beryl, and I that what she sees is the need for hope. I think that the need for hope is a very basic human quality, but it's something that Alessa's life has robbed her of, to some extent -- partly because of the wounds that were inflicted on her as a child, and partly because her gift of sight can also be a curse in this regard. I think it's easy to give up on notions like hope when you can see into the future. What's the point of hope if you know what's coming, after all? So I think Alessa looks at Beryl, and she sees someone who has also suffered a great deal, and who also feels (to some extent) cursed by the gift she has. And I think that provokes in Alessa a powerful desire to protect this person, to defend Beryl and her hope from the dangers that lurk in the multiverse.

So, I think that, as these two have come to understand each other in these important ways, it kind of frees them to have the kind of fun, friendly banter that they develop, and it explains why each is willing to take a chance on the other. Beryl is a very earnest, very literal person, whereas Alessa is a very playful, very puckish person, and it's really fun to watch them play off of each other. They push each other in interesting ways, I hope.


"Tease of the First Order" is Beryl's new official title. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

I had a really inappropriate amount of fun trying to brainstorm those make-believe titles. :)


Very glad to see this story moving forward! With any luck, there will be a great tying up of ongoing storylines as the year turns, what with WOTW and this plot reaching their respective thrilling conclusions.

*salutes* I'll do my best, sir!


Very good work, and thanks for posting!

Thank you kindly! :)


Alright, so, I've read this story, and I think it's wonderful. Like Ruwin, I like Alessa in this story much better than I typically like her. It may be because of her lack of ulterior motives, or maybe an absence of the general hypocrisy that I often attribute to her, but I like the buddy thing between her and Beryl. They play off one another well, I think.

Again, really glad that people are enjoying the interplay here.


Something tells me that by the time Beryl's story is all told, it'll be longer than War of the Wheel! (Which is not a bad thing, of course!)

I guess the thing is that I just really enjoy spending time around Beryl. I love writing for her, and I love hearing her stories. And, like I said above, I'm always so excited and interested to learn how other people see her, too.

So, I have a suspicion that, for as long as she's willing to put up with me, I'll just keep coming back to her. And I just hope that I can do right by her when I do.


I really enjoyed the description of Alessa's chaos-affected room. That was marvelous (and not just because of the Aubedore reference.)

I'll tip my cap to Barinellos, here. He did a lot to really punch-up that setting.


Speaking of references, don't think I didn't notice the "Pariah" shout-out in there. I find it VERY interesting that Beryl would opt to tell that story of all stories, a story in which someone gifted in precognition makes a major and willing sacrifice for the good of others...

I hope that was alright by you. I am a great fan of that story, and I was delighted to be able to work it in here.

That story just seemed very appropriate for the moment, both for the reason you mentioned, and also because I think it's Beryl's way of explaining why she might be willing to make sacrifices of her own to do what she thinks is right. And, as I have said a couple times about "Pariah," it always feels to me so much like a "found" story. It has this kind of profound, archetypical truth to it, so much so that it seems to me like a story which has just been around forever in the aether (even though, obviously, it hasn't). So that's why it felt right to me that this story might exist in Beryl's world, and might have been one that her mother would have told her.


I also like all the subtle hints you drop about other possible stories hiding out in the vicinity of this story. [...] I always like stuff like that.

Me, too. And it's a good thing, because I swear, it's like I'm physically incapable of tying up one story knot without loosening two others in the process. So, whenever the dangling threads seem like interesting ones, it's a big relief!

(Again, though, the good Barin gets credit for a lot of the specific unanswered questions here. He's a sly devil, that one!)


Anyway, I do have a few typos/problems that I wanted to mention:

Thanks for the eagle (or raven, I guess?) eye!

Spoiler

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:32 pm 
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It may be because of her lack of ulterior motives, or maybe an absence of the general hypocrisy that I often attribute to her, but I like the buddy thing between her and Beryl.
In fairness, Raven, she's NEVER claimed a moral high ground. She steals from other people to live. She KNOWS she's a bad person, but she also isn't really in a position to be picky. Or maybe the world is just made of shades of gray and she's exceedingly complicated.
Quote:
There are several instances here where I question the things Alessa says, usually her language. She uses words and phrases like "freaking" and "super proud," which seem pretty "modern English" to me. Likewise, she mentions size as it relates to clothing, and I'm not sure that would have been a thing. I could be wrong on all of those counts, of course.
To be honest, I sort of see Alessa's speech as leaning towards the modern far more than the older. It's at least partially just the way she speaks to me, and I'm not one to really subvert that voice.
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Finally, I just want to throw out my opinion on mana. In this piece, you specifically mention the use of blue mana. Now, personally, I'm perfectly happy casually mentioning mana by color. I did it all the time in "Planes of the Dual-Walkers," but it does cause problems for some people. My take, personally, is that if players of the game are meant to be planeswalkers, and we know all about the colors and what they mean, it makes sense that planeswalkers in the stories do, too.
To clarify on this from a more official position... it varies. Some people clearly have codified the types of mana, such as Jodah and his School on Lat-Nam, but there isn't a universal take on such a thing. Similar to summoning, it's a far more personal sort of thing, dependent on the characters in question. I try to sort of vary it myself, and even go out of my way to try different methodologies, such as with Raef, who perceives mana in terms of tactility/sense rather than color. Alessa, for her part, does perceive mana by its color, but that is at least partially because of how she casts her spells, by mentally weaving lines of mana.

Re: the story
I would comment on it, but... well, I mean I've had my hand sunk into this up the elbow, and as always it was a real privilege to work with Orcish. I'm half tempted to flatter myself by picking out the bits that I contributed with, but that'd just be a bit vain, don't you think?

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Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:46 am 
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Barinellos wrote:
Re: the story
I would comment on it, but... well, I mean I've had my hand sunk into this up the elbow, and as always it was a real privilege to work with Orcish. I'm half tempted to flatter myself by picking out the bits that I contributed with, but that'd just be a bit vain, don't you think?

If I might just offer the executive summary: Said contributions were numerous and very much appreciated!

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 1:36 am 
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I'm just going to bump this to tell you that I'm in the process of reading this and will hopefully get my reactions to you fairly shortly.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:05 pm 
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I'm just going to bump this to tell you that I'm in the process of reading this and will hopefully get my reactions to you fairly shortly.

Many thanks for reading, Luna! I look forward to any thoughts you have to offer!

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2015 9:40 pm 
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So, I ended up actually finishing this and writing my notes before finding the time to post the first half alone. Go figure.

part1


Part II


As a final thought, I had this odd thought that, perhaps twenty years down the road, there may end up being an alternate ending comic drawn for this story in which Alessa does get lucky in the vault.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 12:52 am 
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Thanks so much for reading, Luna, and for taking the time to comment! It is, as ever, deeply appreciated.

Quote:
“You can’t just say that! You don’t know Her!” Alessa shouted. Her voice grew agitated, and her whole body seemed to pull taut. Beryl could sense the fear ratcheting-up behind Alessa’s words. “You don’t know what she's like, but I do. She’s death, distilled down and poured into a people-shaped vessel. She’s... more than you can possibly imagine. She’d snuff you out like a guttering candle and it wouldn’t even crack her porcelain smile. She’s... she’s so far beyond human she doesn't even understand what a smile means...”

[Fry]I get it![/Fry]

It's fair to say that Alessa has strong feelings on this particular subject. She cannot be accused of not doing enough to make her point. :)

(For which I owe a hat tip to the good Barin, who kept saying: "Alessa needs to drive home how scary The Duchess is. Because she's scary, and Beryl doesn't seem to get it. And Alessa is not going to let Beryl not get it. She's going to make Beryl get it.")


I would like to suggest that this line:
Quote:
“Swear it!” Alessa said, suddenly more lucid than she had been at any point since Beryl had arrived.

Be changed to "suddenly more lucid than Beryl had seen her at any point since she had arrived", because so far this feels like it's from Beryl's POV and I feel it would carry just a bit more weight if it were that way.

Yeah, that's better. I'll make that change. Thanks, Luna!


I think you absolutely hit all the right points for this. The opening was just descriptive enough to show the chaos while leaving enough unsaid to really let the reader's imagination make the scene. Alessa and Beryl's interaction in that early part was surprisingly touching, considering. I feel it would have been too easy to overstate things to the point that it would feel comedic, but you sidestep that beautifully.

Thanks for the kind words, Luna -- I'm glad that you liked this part. Like you said, I didn't want to shy away from the rawness, here. Alessa is in a bad way when Beryl finds her, and she says some pretty hurtful things. But she's saying and doing those things because she's concerned, and that concern comes from a genuine, heartfelt place -- as much as I think Alessa would never want to admit that. And Beryl can see that, I think. She can see how the multiverse has hurt Alessa, and what she sees looks very familiar to her. It's a scene between two people who understand what it means to be hurt. So they both want to help each other, albeit in different ways. Because, in doing so, maybe they can heal themselves, too.


I have to say that the restaurant scene, the innkeeper and waiters in particular, carries a kind of cartoony feel to it. I don't think that's a bad thing, since it gives a moment of levity after that heavy opening and what will surely be harsher moments to come. It was kind of odd hearing about bacon and toast -- for that matter, food in general being described in one of our stories -- but it didn't feel out-of-place, really.

Yeah, the tone here is deliberately a little bit lighter. Like you said, it's partly as a breather, before some of the heavier things which will happen next. But, also, I had fun just getting to spend some time with these characters as they did something so, for lack of a better word, normal, as going out for a meal. My hope is that it's humanizing. We get to see that, in addition to being planeswalkers, and mages, and all that, Alessa and Beryl are also people who get hung over, and who have a preference for how they want their bacon cooked, and so on, and so on. I had a lot of fun writing this scene, for precisely that reason. Seeing Beryl get excited about scrambled eggs, and seeing Alessa wipe her mouth on the tablecloth? That was just fun. :)



Typo?
Quote:
Spend a whole afternoon in a slow time bubble being ogled by museum patrons, and you’ll find most other forms of exposure feel wonderfully relative after that.

Perhaps I'm unfamiliar with the turn of phrase, but "wonderfully relative"? Shouldn't it be "relative to [something]"?

I think this is okay. There is an unspoken comparison here, but, hopefully, it's clear what the comparison is to, given the context?


I think this is paced out to perfection. It opens up with some light comedy that's also endearing as we see Beryl's continued shyness come into play -- and really, having Alessa play off of her is kind of brilliant -- as well as setting up how the situation will play out in the latter part. I like the description of the Neurok stealth suit, and it coming from Alessa, in my mind, leaves it up in the air whether she's ever been to Mirrodin itself or perhaps she just swiped it off of someone who had. The transition, where they make it onto the estate but have to creep to the vault was very believable the whole way through. I could see myself acting much the same way Beryl did if I was magically hidden, needing to be hurried along due to lack of confidence. Then the very humanizing moments within the vault. Poor Beryl really deserves her own happy ending when all this is done.

Well, again, thank you for the kind comments. The stealthsuit was all Barin's idea, and one of the first things he described about it was that it was so skin-tight/form-fitting. And, yeah, I kind of had a field day playing with that. I mean, it's trope city, but just seeing Alessa's total lack of self-consciousness running headlong into Beryl's extreme self-consciousness was like a gift that kept on giving. And, as much as Alessa clearly enjoys teasing Beryl, it's important to note that she also respects her wishes.

And, yes, we get another tantalizing tease about Alessa's past, and how she might have acquired such an object.

I'm glad you liked the infiltration scene, too. The thought which kept going through my head was that, if I was wearing an invisibility suit, but I could still see myself, then I don't think I'd be able to act like no one else could see me. I'd keep trying to sneak around, even though it wasn't strictly necessary.

And the scenes inside the vault make me a little teary. Something about Beryl coming face-to-face with the physical fact of having been disowned, and being able to face up to it, and to believe in herself, in spite of it. I feel like I can just see her growing in that moment, and it heartens me.

And, of course, I love seeing Alessa being so supportive, in her own trademark, subversive way.

When and if Beryl gets her happy ending, it will be well, well deserved. Alessa, too, for that matter.


I took notice of how often you steered toward "said" as the word of choice, and I must say, I think it worked rather well. You did such a marvelous job characterizing them that sometimes I even imagined little movements or breathes that weren't described.

I am an unapologetic fan of "said," and the result you're describing is the brass ring. If the characters and dialog are written properly, then, hopefully, the inflections and patterns of speech just begin to manifest themselves.

Every once in a while, I can -- maybe -- pull it off. :)


I also have to say that I love how, with every new leg of her journey, you can actually see Beryl growing. From the scared, defeated, and in some ways still adolescent little girl when she ascended, to the desperate but resolute woman when she asked for Fisco's help, to the shy but steadfast and confident person we can see her becoming here.

Yeah, you've put your finger on it. More and more, as I was working on these stories, I realized that they are stories about Beryl growing into herself, about Beryl becoming herself. As she puts it, she's trying to be the person she's supposed to be.

I think her first big challenge was understanding just what sort of person "the person she's supposed to be" is. Now her challenge is becoming that person. And I'm rooting for her. I'm rooting for her like crazy. I believe she can do it.


Others have already mentioned Alessa's character, but I think it's roughly the same as I (recently? soon will?) said in my Delusional Requiem for War of the Wheel re Fisco -- this is not the same Alessa that Barinellos writes, but that doesn't make it any less Alessa, and seeing the different interpretations of her is fantastic. I also love the implication with the final bit about Alessa having gone back to the book room to write in Beryl's name, as if she is so attached, so impressed with Beryl's strength that she'll write down her name where Beryl didn't have the courage to. It's a nice touching and uplifting moment to end the story on, since the lead-up to that point was so full of tension.

Again, hat tip to the good Barin -- that little epilogue, with Alessa's graffiti, was his idea. And I think it really does good work here, for the reasons you mentioned.

And, yeah, that's one of the things I always love about seeing multiple authors write for the same characters. You can see those differences between the portrayals, and I always feel like that's part of the fun. The good Barinellos has always been super helpful in helping me to get my head around Alessa, but I can't and don't write Alessa exactly the same way he does. I just hope that my take on her does justice to the original, and I also hope that it maybe casts a little light onto different facets of her character.


As a final thought, I had this odd thought that, perhaps twenty years down the road, there may end up being an alternate ending comic drawn for this story in which Alessa does get lucky in the vault.

Oh, man, there are a lot of not-safe-for-work alternate histories that you could envision at various points in this story. Let's call it The Alessa Effect (TM).

And I assume that Alessa gets a front row seat for all of those possibilities in her future sight, remote though they might be. As she said in a previous story: "I can see the future, you know? And, you and me? We could have some very interesting futures."

Which... probably explains why she's grinning all the time?

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2015 5:56 pm 
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Typo?
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Spend a whole afternoon in a slow time bubble being ogled by museum patrons, and you’ll find most other forms of exposure feel wonderfully relative after that.

Perhaps I'm unfamiliar with the turn of phrase, but "wonderfully relative"? Shouldn't it be "relative to [something]"?

I think this is okay. There is an unspoken comparison here, but, hopefully, it's clear what the comparison is to, given the context?

Yeah, I think it works okay considering the context, but I thought it was worth bringing up. Personally, I would never use the phrase as such, but I can see how some people would.

Quote:
Others have already mentioned Alessa's character, but I think it's roughly the same as I (recently? soon will?) said in my Delusional Requiem for War of the Wheel re Fisco -- this is not the same Alessa that Barinellos writes, but that doesn't make it any less Alessa, and seeing the different interpretations of her is fantastic. I also love the implication with the final bit about Alessa having gone back to the book room to write in Beryl's name, as if she is so attached, so impressed with Beryl's strength that she'll write down her name where Beryl didn't have the courage to. It's a nice touching and uplifting moment to end the story on, since the lead-up to that point was so full of tension.

Again, hat tip to the good Barin -- that little epilogue, with Alessa's graffiti, was his idea. And I think it really does good work here, for the reasons you mentioned.

And, yeah, that's one of the things I always love about seeing multiple authors write for the same characters. You can see those differences between the portrayals, and I always feel like that's part of the fun. The good Barinellos has always been super helpful in helping me to get my head around Alessa, but I can't and don't write Alessa exactly the same way he does. I just hope that my take on her does justice to the original, and I also hope that it maybe casts a little light onto different facets of her character.

I've been thinking on it, and I realize that you haven't just written a different Alessa than Barinellos here, but I think you wrote a different Alessa here than you did in Complications. And maybe the difference is that Alessa is now attached to Beryl where she was not before, that she has connected with Beryl and realized they share much in common, or maybe you've just decided that Alessa needed to be a little nicer this time around. Whatever the reason, I think that perhaps I like the Alessa of this story more than the Alessa of Complications.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 07, 2015 4:42 pm 
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I've been thinking on it, and I realize that you haven't just written a different Alessa than Barinellos here, but I think you wrote a different Alessa here than you did in Complications. And maybe the difference is that Alessa is now attached to Beryl where she was not before, that she has connected with Beryl and realized they share much in common, or maybe you've just decided that Alessa needed to be a little nicer this time around. Whatever the reason, I think that perhaps I like the Alessa of this story more than the Alessa of Complications.

Oh, no question -- I think the Alessa we see in this story has changed a little bit from the Alessa we see in "Complications." And, even though Alessa is just in "Between Two Worlds" briefly at the beginning, I think the change is traceable (in large part) back to that scene. Because she tries so hard in that scene to get Beryl to leave with her, to 'walk away from Aliavelli, and Astria, and The Duchess, and that whole sordid mess.

Only, Beryl won't do it. She won't leave. She chooses to stay behind, because she believes that it's the right thing to do.

And I think that shakes Alessa, in a strange way. I think it has been a while since Alessa has seen people put their own lives on the line for something which they think is bigger than themselves. And I think that's what starts her thinking about the ways in which Beryl reminds her of a younger, less jaded version of herself -- a version of herself back when she was willing to make her own sacrifices, in the name of something which she thought mattered.

And I think that realization is what changes the way that Alessa looks at Beryl. I think it's also what sends Alessa into her cups.

So, by the time we see her again, she's in a very different emotional place. A place where she's feeling a bit protective of Beryl, even as she feels both pity for and frustration over what she sees as Beryl's naiveté. But I think it's also a place where, in the back of her mind, she is starting to question herself, to ask if there's anything in the multiverse which she thinks is important enough that she'd sacrifice herself for it, and whether or not she's the sort of person who'd be capable of making that sacrifice.

Which I think is why she seems different in this story. She's starting to question her own image of herself. Not quite as aggressively as she's questioning Beryl, but I think those questions have at least started to surface.

That's how I hope it comes across, anyway. This wasn't just me trying to make Alessa nicer. I was hoping that we're catching a glimpse of a different facet of her than we'd seen before.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 07, 2015 6:18 pm 
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Which I think is why she seems different in this story. She's starting to question her own image of herself. Not quite as aggressively as she's questioning Beryl, but I think those questions have at least started to surface.

That's how I hope it comes across, anyway. This wasn't just me trying to make Alessa nicer. I was hoping that we're catching a glimpse of a different facet of her than we'd seen before.
It is important for me to add that Alessa has always been slated as a dynamic character, deeply affected by her perception of the world around her. I could go into more detail, but I had to wake up very early today so I'm not altogether there right now.

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Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:41 pm 
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Barinellos wrote:
Which I think is why she seems different in this story. She's starting to question her own image of herself. Not quite as aggressively as she's questioning Beryl, but I think those questions have at least started to surface.

That's how I hope it comes across, anyway. This wasn't just me trying to make Alessa nicer. I was hoping that we're catching a glimpse of a different facet of her than we'd seen before.
It is important for me to add that Alessa has always been slated as a dynamic character, deeply affected by her perception of the world around her. I could go into more detail, but I had to wake up very early today so I'm not altogether there right now.

Sorry -- in case it wasn't clear, I wasn't trying to imply that I, being the creative genius that I am, somehow unearthed some hidden depths in Alessa's character which weren't already there. I really hope that my comments didn't come across that way!

Anyway, my hope is just that this story -- or, for that matter, this entire story arc -- provided a vantage point to glimpse some of those sides of Alessa which haven't always been as visible.

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