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[Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds
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Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Hello, friends!

I've tried to supplement the broadcast antenna out here in the Land of Weak Signals with some tinfoil and coat hangers, because I am very excited about this particular transmission. Namely, I'm very, very pleased to present a new story, titled "Between Two Worlds."

This particular yarn picks up where we last left Beryl and Alessa, and also features some additional characters who arrive late enough in the proceedings and are just spoilery enough that I'll leave them out of the title tags for now.

I want to get to the actual story as quickly as possible, but a few things need to be said beforehand. First off, while I'm the one making this post, the good RavenoftheBlack is a coauthor and more. He wrote large sections of what you're about to read, and it was his prompting which inspired much of the rest. Another very important thanks goes out to the good Barinellos, who continues to make irreplaceable contributions to the text and the bigger picture.

Gentlemen, you have my deepest and sincerest thanks. I really, really appreciate your time, ideas, and words.

As ever, comments, suggestions, and criticisms are most welcome. I very much hope that you all will enjoy the story.

(Two quick notes of the "sorry, Luna!" variety: I'm going to have to divide this for length, and I'll get the paragraph tags added later, when I have access to a mouse. We don't have mice in the L.o.W.S. -- well, not those kind of mice, anyway...)

Between Two Worlds, Part 1

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Between Two Worlds, Part 2

Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 9:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Well, obviously, Orcish already knows what I think about this, but I suppose it bears repeating publically. This is, beyond an echo of a whisper of a shadow of a doubt, the single greatest piece of Literature ever created in English, or in fact in any language that is known to man now or thus far in history. And Orcish's bits were pretty good, too! :V

Anyway, self-indulgent hyperbole notwithstanding, I love this piece. I feel very fortunate that Orcish humored me enough to write it and to use my meager contributions. This piece, I feel, hits so many different notes. It's like a symphony. It has all the mystery, wonder, intrigue and heart indicative of Orcish's work, as well as whatever the hell it is I usually do. Beryl is a pleasure to work with, and my parts were a joy to write, almost as much as Orcish's were a joy to read. I really feel the worlds here were beautiful and evocative and really powerful in some interesting ways, and I hope other people enjoyed them as much as I did.

I'm sure I have a lot more to say on the matter, but I'll hold off until other people have had a chance to read and enjoy it!

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 10:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Pretty soon the only people NOT working on this storyline are going to be... me. I predict I'll be the last man standing.

Not sure I'll be able to get to this today, but if not then maybe tomorrow? (Though I still need to catch up on other stories too...)

Author:  RuwinReborn [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

So! I would like to preface this with the following disclosure! Which is that I am on a great deal of painkillers at the moment! I feel FABULOUS but am also not sure I am thinking clearly, so hey, I'm going to go ahead and ramble now!

Spoiler

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Sep 15, 2014 10:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Anyway, self-indulgent hyperbole notwithstanding, I love this piece. I feel very fortunate that Orcish humored me enough to write it and to use my meager contributions.

Let the record note that Raven is underselling his role in the process. Something like a solid 2/5ths of this is lifted straight out of his initial draft, with just minimal alterations to slot it in with present events, and to add some arbitrary paragraph breaks in places where Raven's long, flowing paragraphs were making my carriage return finger itchy.


It has all the mystery, wonder, intrigue and heart indicative of Orcish's work, as well as whatever the hell it is I usually do. Beryl is a pleasure to work with, and my parts were a joy to write, almost as much as Orcish's were a joy to read. I really feel the worlds here were beautiful and evocative and really powerful in some interesting ways, and I hope other people enjoyed them as much as I did.

Well, you are very kind, sir. It was a pleasure for me, too. I feel like you really connected with Beryl, and getting to play around with the story you set up was a really wonderful experience.


Pretty soon the only people NOT working on this storyline are going to be... me. I predict I'll be the last man standing.

How is Kirsh with burns? Would Raleris like to get his hands on an Arcanum Obscurata, once Aloise is done unraveling its mysteries? Could Beryl use some beebles? :)


Not sure I'll be able to get to this today, but if not then maybe tomorrow? (Though I still need to catch up on other stories too...)

This one went a little long, so take your time. When you do read it, I hope you enjoy it!


So! I would like to preface this with the following disclosure! Which is that I am on a great deal of painkillers at the moment! I feel FABULOUS but am also not sure I am thinking clearly, so hey, I'm going to go ahead and ramble now!

I'm trying to think of the best possible reason to need painkillers, and I'm just hoping that's what happened to you. Stampeded by adorable kittens? Saved some hikers by wrestling a bear to the ground, then befriended the bear? Ate too much fudge?

Whichever one of those three it was, I hope you feel better soon!


Nasperge showed up, and I literally stared at my phone and said "What?" out loud. Totally blindsided. (Let the record show that I was TOTALLY mostly spot on about most of my Aubedore predictions in the Magician's Crossroads! Totally! Maybe. I don't really remember at the moment.)

I'll let Raven comment more about this connection, when and if he wants to. But, suffice it to say, I feel like this was one of those patented Raven instances for foreshadowing -- delightfully ambiguous at the time, deliciously intriguing with the benefit of hindsight.


Beryl's character arc continues to be one that is fascinating and emotional. As per usual, OL has outdone himself. I always wondered - I always wondered if she would be able to speak with Moira. How wonderful that must have been for Beryl.

Well, you are very kind, Ruwin. Thanks for the kind words.

The moment when I realized that Beryl was going to get a chance to speak to her mother, but that it was going to be a much younger version of her mother -- one who didn't even know she was going to have children, much less what will eventually befall her and her daughter -- that was the moment when this part of the story kind of crystalized for me. Because, like you said, it's an opportunity which Beryl has desperately wanted to have, but it comes in such a way that she can't say the one thing which she has always wanted to be able to say to her mother. She can't say, "I'm sorry," because young Moira doesn't know what Beryl is apologizing for. And, in some way, the fact that Beryl and her mother can't talk explicitly about this one thing forced them to have what I hope turned out to be a more interesting, more revealing interaction than if it were just as simple as "I'm sorry" / "I forgive you."

And it also meant that Beryl got to seek her forgiveness from the person she really needed it from, too.

I mean, I think everyone knows by now that I'm a crier. So I'll just admit that some of those Beryl/Moira moments got me a little weepy.


Anyway, this trope always bothered me because it reeks of poor YA novelty (I think that's a pun? I think that's a pun). And yet with Beryl, with this story, there are so many small - like her original magics - deviations from the path. I mean, check the box where her innate ability makes her more powerful than Astria is, but... She doesn't just GET it. She doesn't just have some mentor, or some great being watching over her, come down from on high and be like "Hmm, I see potential in this one..." No, she gets regular people with good intentions. She gets the firewalker, Aloise, and Nasperge. She gets kindness in a multiverse that is only unkind, forgiveness when she thought she could not be forgiven, and love whens he believes she cannot be loved.

That's a really interesting analysis. I haven't explicitly thought about Beryl in those terms, but I think you've really touched on one of the things about her which endears her to me.

At one level, her story is about coming to terms with the power she possesses. That's totally true. But, like you said, at another level, her story is about coming to terms with the humanity she possesses. Which means learning to accept both her weaknesses -- which are real, and which I don't ever want to play down -- and her goodness. And Beryl has a much harder time with the latter than with the former. Hopefully, as she grows, what's happening is that she's growing into a more balanced, whole person, one who understands her virtues as well as her deficiencies.


And my first thought when I saw Moira in the mirror, and Beryl mistook her or Astria, was "What sort of person could Astria have been with these same things?". The answer, I believe, is "a better one". The Duchess does not for good company make.

Yeah. I have that thought a lot.

I don't consider Astria to be a sympathetic character, because Lord knows she has made her choices, and I can't find anything to admire about the choices she has made.

But I do feel sympathy for Astria, in spite of all that. Because I think that she could have turned out much better. I think that Moira's shadow has loomed just as large over her as it has over Beryl. Only Astria is fixated on trying to emulate the wrong aspects of her mother's life. She wants to prove herself to be her mother's equal by securing the same titles, the same accolades, the same respect. It's the same thing as their physical resemblance -- it's surface level. Whereas Beryl wants so desperately to emulate her mother's intangible qualities -- she wants to be compassionate, tolerant, and giving.

Let's make no bones about it. Astria is a self-absorbed bully. I don't think she's a sociopath, but she certainly has some of those tendencies. But I also think that Astria -- like Beryl -- is motivated a lot by fear. And I think that a lot of the evil which Astria has done to Beryl has grown out of that fear. Astria is afraid of not being able to live up to her mother's legacy. And she is mortally afraid of Beryl. And I think that a lot of the choices she has made stem from those two fears.

Which isn't an excuse, but I think it does help explain her to me.


So, Beryl "Small Magic" Ex-Trevanei, is taught humility, responsibility, and compassion - and here's the important part - BEFORE she ever learns pride, carelessness, or cruelty. There is no change of heart for Beryl, just a change of her point of view! And that's really remarkable that, going back and reading all of Beryl's stories, that she's always been this sort of person that she thinks she is not, but is slowly becoming. And it's not because of any change that is coming over her. She is just looking at herself how... Well. How Aloise sees her, I suppose is the most apt description of it.

If that comes through here, then I'm really, really glad. Like I said above, I think this is Beryl's biggest journey -- to become herself. She has taken steps forward along that path -- and steps backwards, as well. But it's a path which I think she is now determined to walk, regardless of where it leads her.

Wow. Totally blown away by this place. While reading about it, I was completly astounded by the setting. It felt so... Well, it reminded me of a lot of books I've read over the years. That feel of old wood and glass, of older magic. A place of mystery that the old magician can't even explain, but the magic is benevolent unless used irresponsibly. A place of healing, understanding, and learning through reflection (boooooo).

This is the sort of setting that really, really, REALLY intrigues me. We're all lucky that Clade would never be able to find it. Because I want that place to be around forever....

Though I do sort of wonder what sort of reaction he'd have to Aliavelli.

I'm really glad you liked the mirror world. It had this kind of carnival, funhouse vibe which seemed appropriate for Nasperge's involvement, but it also just seemed like the right place to be at the end of the bridge, even if I can't actually articulate why. And once I realized that it meant that Beryl would come face-to-face with the younger version of her mother, I was a goner.

As for Clade, I think he would end up with infinite years of bad luck if he ever visited. :) And I think he would pound Aliavelli until all he was doing was making the rubble bounce.

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Tue Sep 16, 2014 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Also, if anyone can come up with a better name for the mirror world than "the mirror world," feel free to suggest it. That way I can call it something better than "the mirror world."

Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Sep 16, 2014 3:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Beryl's Reflecting Realm?

Author:  Barinellos [ Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Mirror Gallery?
The Infinite Fun House?
The Echo Chamber?

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Tue Sep 16, 2014 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

The experience of following this storyline, and this story in particular, has been profoundly rewarding. I love the setpieces, I love Nasperge and the parallels between this story and a whole host of other stories, I love the development of the characters... yeah, just, wow, guys.

Well done.

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Tue Sep 16, 2014 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

The experience of following this storyline, and this story in particular, has been profoundly rewarding. I love the setpieces, I love Nasperge and the parallels between this story and a whole host of other stories, I love the development of the characters... yeah, just, wow, guys.

Well done.

@ Keeper - I'm so, so glad you enjoyed it. I'm humbled that you find reading it and the other stories rewarding. Thank you.

And thanks again to Ruwin, and Barinellos, and Raven for all their contributions.

And thanks to everyone who has given insightful comments on Beryl stories -- which includes so many people.

To crib a line from Moira, I count myself very blessed to get to share with you all, and to experience what you create. "Rewarding" is the right sort of word for it.

Author:  Lord LunaEquie is me [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

I have to note that, through a slight misunderstanding on my behalf, I read this before Complications, though I will say without visiting that story that this reads marvelously regardless.

small critiques


So, I'm in much the same frame of mind as Ruwin and Keeper. Following Beryl along on this entire story arc (in which I'm including the side-characters like Aloise, Fisco, Alessa, Nasperge, and others) has been just immensely rewarding. Each entry in this arc has been so well written that they have made me grown extremely attached to them, and to Beryl in particular. Her path from the meekling we saw in Small Magic to what we're seeing hints of here has been so very measured and believable, and her plights and obstacles so very relatable, that I find it hard to not grow attached to her. As I said, this story nearly moved me to tears, and I suspect the main reason I didn't start bawling was because circumstances were that I had to interrupt the great meeting scene and pick it up again later.

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story, Luna! Sorry if I got you turned around on the order of the stories.

Quote:
I feel that these lines:
Quote:
She tried as best she could to wipe away the evidence of her tears, then she picked her way as carefully as she could across the glass-strewn floor.

could stand to be differentiated more. The immediate re-use of "as [x] as she could" is kind of noticeable. I would suggest changing the second sentence to just "picked her way carefully" without the "as she could" in it.

My guess is that I was trying to use the repetition for effect, here, but I confess I don't remember. I'll have to re-read that section and see if it's sticking out. Thanks for mentioning it.


Quote:
I also want to point out this line:
Quote:
“It won’t be easy, Beryl,” he said. “Nothing worthwhile ever is.[…]"

Because I feel like I've heard it before, but darn if it isn't a powerful telling of character. Really, the whole paragraph that line is from is just fantastic.

Agreed. I think basically everything Raven wrote to set up Beryl's trial by fire is just wonderful.


Quote:
I would like to say that when Beryl breaks down and cries in part 2, it really touched me. Not quite so much as to make me cry along with her, but certainly enough to want to comfort her, to hug her and tell her it will be okay, to give her a shoulder to cry on.

Mrs. OL frequently makes comments along those lines: "I really want to hug Beryl right now." And I hope this moment is one of those moments. Beryl has been doing a pretty good job of rolling with the many punches up until that point, but I think that, once Astria leaves, and once she's left to contemplate this kind of impossible task she has been given, and which it looks like she is going to have to face alone, she just can't keep herself going. She's worn out -- physically and mentally -- and she breaks down.

But one of the things I love about Beryl is that she gets back up afterwards, too. She really wants to do what she thinks is right. That's one of those virtues that other people see in her, and which she is only starting to recognize in herself.


Quote:
I would like to bring another point of physical familiarity up in this story: you say the fire "hissed like a serpent". I can understand that, since it is a magical, otherworldly fire, it would behave differently, but the sound a normal fire makes when it gets very large is more akin to a very deep whooshing, hence the term "a roaring fire". Assuming what Beryl is hearing while inside the fire is actual air speeding by her ears, then it would likely be deafening with as high as the flames are supposed to be.

That's a good note. I think the hissing I had in mind is the sound you hear with a gas flame, like from a stovetop. But your description makes more sense given the context. I'll probably rework this little bit.


Quote:
Quote:
“No,” she said, averting her eyes from her mother’s reflected image. “Not Beryl Trevanei. Just Beryl.”

Eyesssss?

:face:

I really thought I caught them all this time. I really did.

Good eye, Luna. :)


Quote:
So, I'm in much the same frame of mind as Ruwin and Keeper. Following Beryl along on this entire story arc (in which I'm including the side-characters like Aloise, Fisco, Alessa, Nasperge, and others) has been just immensely rewarding. Each entry in this arc has been so well written that they have made me grown extremely attached to them, and to Beryl in particular. Her path from the meekling we saw in Small Magic to what we're seeing hints of here has been so very measured and believable, and her plights and obstacles so very relatable, that I find it hard to not grow attached to her. As I said, this story nearly moved me to tears, and I suspect the main reason I didn't start bawling was because circumstances were that I had to interrupt the great meeting scene and pick it up again later.

You have no idea how wonderful it makes me feel to hear that from you, and the other people who have expressed similar sentiments. It's very, very kind, and it makes me very, very happy. I have become very attached to Beryl, and I'm so glad that other people are enjoying having her around.

Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Quote:
I also want to point out this line:
Quote:
“It won’t be easy, Beryl,” he said. “Nothing worthwhile ever is.[…]"

Because I feel like I've heard it before, but darn if it isn't a powerful telling of character. Really, the whole paragraph that line is from is just fantastic.

Agreed. I think basically everything Raven wrote to set up Beryl's trial by fire [has written] is just wonderful.

:fixed:

:D

Good eye, Luna. :)

:rofl:

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Alessa] [Beryl] [?] [?] Between Two Worlds

Quote:
I also want to point out this line:

Because I feel like I've heard it before, but darn if it isn't a powerful telling of character. Really, the whole paragraph that line is from is just fantastic.

Agreed. I think basically everything Raven wrote to set up Beryl's trial by fire [has written] is just wonderful.

:fixed:

:D

Good catch, Raven. Bad oversight on my part. :)

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