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[Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum http://862838.jrbdt8wd.asia/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=5412 |
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Author: | RuwinReborn [ Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:01 am ] |
Post subject: | [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
In a completely startling move way out of left field, Ruwin posts a story that ISN'T the fourth part of Fisco and Jackie's arc! Sorry for everyone who is waiting at the edges of their respective seats - you'll just have to wait a bit longer! Instead, have this thing I've been working on over the weekend while I took a break from everything and just relaxed! This is not very long at all.
Trigger Warnings
The Pulse of the Pendulum
Planeswalker Dossier
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:20 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Okay, I see. So it's a story-off you want, huh? Stories about fathers and daughters? Alright. You wanna play rough? Chardis's daughter, coming up! Just kidding, but it amuses me that this is the sort of thing you create when "relaxing." I didn't really have a strong reaction to the story. It's certainly not bad, but I think this is another one of those stories where the character outshines the story, which is not necessarily a bad thing. It serves its purpose as an intro piece, and we get a good luck at Pendulum's motivations. I found the eye stuff interesting. I think it served to show the cold detachment the character has. I did notice several typos and little mistakes, which I'll outline here:
typos
So over all, I liked it, but it didn't blow me away the way some of your stuff has. That being said, there are certain characters I would like to see meet up with Pendulum. The most notable is Lia Xin. And, not to spoil anything, there might be someone I'd like to briefly pair him with after I wrap up War of the Wheel. But that's pretty nebulous, admittedly. |
Author: | RuwinReborn [ Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:50 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
...See, your first comment makes me wonder if the Dual-Walkers have sired any children with random people. That is a potentially... disturbing concept. As for my propensity for strangeness - when I relax, I'm not worried about what I'm writing, so much as just writing something. It's sort of similar to dreaming, actually. I just put down whatever pops into my head as I write and hopefully it makes sense when it's all over, because it makes sense while it's happening.
Spoiler
Yeah, wow, I love the idea of Pendulum and Lia interacting. That would be fascinating. As for your WOTW character...
Spoiler
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Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Well, I do think these reads as somewhat sinister at first, because we have no frame of reference, and this kind of thing is typically surgery for surgery's sake in fiction. It's actually a cool kind of subversion when the reader (at least me, anyway) gets a sense of relieve when it becomes clear Pendulum is genuinely trying to help, albeit for his own reasons. That was a pretty cool facet of the story. @WOTW Character: Hahahahaha! |
Author: | RuwinReborn [ Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:58 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
RavenoftheBlack wrote: Well, I do think these reads as somewhat sinister at first, because we have no frame of reference, and this kind of thing is typically surgery for surgery's sake in fiction. It's actually a cool kind of subversion when the reader (at least me, anyway) gets a sense of relieve when it becomes clear Pendulum is genuinely trying to help, albeit for his own reasons. That was a pretty cool facet of the story. Well, hey then! Mission accomplished, I suppose! Woo! |
Author: | OrcishLibrarian [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:06 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Oh. My. God. Bless your heart for the trigger warning, because it is one that gives me the heebie geebies.
Spoiler
Thanks for posting, Ruwin! EDIT: Raven totally aced me out. I basically just second what he said. |
Author: | RuwinReborn [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:17 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Thanks for reading, OL! Sorry this creeped you out a bit. O_O And I know what you mean. I have a fear of dictation as well. When people start lecturing me in person... *shudders* I don't know how I ever managed to write this. I'm hoping that Pendulum fills an interesting slot in the EM - one of logic and experimentation for the purpose of beneficial progress. Not, like, phyrexian "progress" that has been twisted, and not progress that "comes at a price". I'm looking for literal progress, no strings attached, that can benefit a wide array of people. None of that greater good baloney. Mostly, he can't do things for the "greater good" because he does not have that sort of frame of reference. He just doesn't believe pain is something that can ever be beneficial for anyone. Hey, sort of like an anti-Tibalt, now that I think about it! |
Author: | KeeperofManyNames [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:17 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
He's also fascinating as a potential foil to Ellia. She came to mind a LOT while I read this. I think this character brings up some really interesting ethical questions about patient rights that would potentially be rather fascinating to get into, if thorny. Lia's a good example of that--of someone that might not want to be "cured" by Pendulum, just like Asher is someone who wouldn't want to be "cured" by Kirsh. (Which, incidentally, I'd love to see those two interact, too.) I actually found the story utterly captivating. It was unsettling at first but the more I came to understand Pendulum as a genuinely good character the more I just found myself utterly drawn into the slow meticulous process of the narrative. It really was a delight to read. And I love that this is a character that pushes the strangeness available to us rather than relying on an animalfolk nature or an existing creature type. That's a boundary I think we could push a bit more, and you do it in a way that doesn't seem gimmicky but results in a truly intriguing individual. |
Author: | OrcishLibrarian [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 2:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
RuwinReborn wrote: Thanks for reading, OL! Sorry this creeped you out a bit. O_O Well, given that I believe that was the desired effect, I don't think you need to apologize. Turns out I slept like a log anyway. |
Author: | RuwinReborn [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 6:34 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Quote: I think this character brings up some really interesting ethical questions about patient rights that would potentially be rather fascinating to get into, if thorny. Lia's a good example of that--of someone that might not want to be "cured" by Pendulum, just like Asher is someone who wouldn't want to be "cured" by Kirsh. (Which, incidentally, I'd love to see those two interact, too.) Originally, I was going to have Pendulum act through some sort of proxy or illusion, and have him live in relative seclusion while people with diseases/deformities come to him to be healed. Instead, I decided that with his mastery over stasis and time magic, it would not be very difficult to obtain subjects without their knowledge. Consent was something I thought about extensively while writing this. But then, Pendulum doesn't really... think... about that sort of thing. He doesn't understand how some people might actually be attached their "deficiencies". It's not logical to him, so he just assumes that people will be grateful to be healed. He's not very good at emotions. -__- He has a very precise notion of suffering, and does not think anything should have to do so. Quote: And I love that this is a character that pushes the strangeness available to us rather than relying on an animalfolk nature or an existing creature type. That's a boundary I think we could push a bit more, and you do it in a way that doesn't seem gimmicky but results in a truly intriguing individual. You can thank the Duels of the Planeswalker's 2015 for inspiring this weirdness. Some of those planeswalker portraits are waaaay out there. O_O I think, technically, if Pendulum had a creature type, it would just be "mutant". I will say that I drew a lot of inspiration for Pendulum from Lampreys. So there's that. And no, I'm not entirely certain what Pendulum was born as. I have an idea of how this happened to him, and I can confirm that he was, in fact, born and not genetically engineered (hence the spark), but really, he could have been anything sapient. Experiments, yo. Quote: I actually found the story utterly captivating. It was unsettling at first but the more I came to understand Pendulum as a genuinely good character the more I just found myself utterly drawn into the slow meticulous process of the narrative. It really was a delight to read. Well hey, glad you liked it! It was soothing to write about something that, to watch from my own point of view, would have been sickening and frightening, in such a way that was meticulous and calm. I'm probably just weird, is all, but it was very stress relieving. Thanks for reading, Keeper. @OL's best impression of a felled tree: I must have stolen all your restlessness last night, because I barely got any sleep at all! Luckily I've been going to bed earlier, so I have a stockpile of energy built up... ...Or that's how I like to see it, anyway. |
Author: | KeeperofManyNames [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:05 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
RuwinReborn wrote: Quote: I think this character brings up some really interesting ethical questions about patient rights that would potentially be rather fascinating to get into, if thorny. Lia's a good example of that--of someone that might not want to be "cured" by Pendulum, just like Asher is someone who wouldn't want to be "cured" by Kirsh. (Which, incidentally, I'd love to see those two interact, too.) Originally, I was going to have Pendulum act through some sort of proxy or illusion, and have him live in relative seclusion while people with diseases/deformities come to him to be healed. Instead, I decided that with his mastery over stasis and time magic, it would not be very difficult to obtain subjects without their knowledge. Consent was something I thought about extensively while writing this. But then, Pendulum doesn't really... think... about that sort of thing. He doesn't understand how some people might actually be attached their "deficiencies". It's not logical to him, so he just assumes that people will be grateful to be healed. He's not very good at emotions. -__- He has a very precise notion of suffering, and does not think anything should have to do so. I got that impression about him, yeah. I like that about him--it adds conflict. I wish there were an easy way to see all the Duels avatars... some of them are really interesting. |
Author: | RuwinReborn [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Speaking of Duels, I was chaining the "Explore Ravnica" node today, and - I wish I was making this up I really do - but "Purple Tyrant" came on my shuffle right as the Rakdos event started. The flavor text for the event? "Let the Dark Carnival commence!" Rakdos for Grand Highblood 2014. |
Author: | KeeperofManyNames [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:26 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Miracles. |
Author: | Barinellos [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:33 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
RuwinReborn wrote: Speaking of Duels, I was chaining the "Explore Ravnica" node today, and - I wish I was making this up I really do - but "Purple Tyrant" came on my shuffle right as the Rakdos event started. The flavor text for the event? "Let the Dark Carnival commence!" Rakdos for Grand Highblood 2014. I'm still amused by the Theros event called "What's in the box?". @Keeper: I have a collection of a bunch of the older ones, but not so much the 2015 ones. |
Author: | KeeperofManyNames [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
Are they carried over across years at all or are they all new? #hasn'tplayedanyDOTPgames |
Author: | Barinellos [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:41 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
KeeperofManyNames wrote: Are they carried over across years at all or are they all new? #hasn'tplayedanyDOTPgames There's usually a small selection of new ones and some overlap. This year's was the largest rotation we've seen. |
Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:49 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: [Story]The Pulse of the Pendulum |
KeeperofManyNames wrote: Are they carried over across years at all or are they all new? #hasn'tplayedanyDOTPgames You didn't play any of the Duels games? So you didn't get all of my numerous, subtle, brilliant references to the games in Planes of the Dual-Walkers? |
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