No Goblins Allowed
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[Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks
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Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Howdy, pardners!

If you feel like putting your feet up and listening for a spell, then Ruwin and I will spin you a yarn. This one's called "Blood on the Tracks," and it takes us back to Jakkard yet again, where things in the Waste are never quite as they seem.

This here story follows hot on the heels of "A Moral Compass" and "The Sincerest Form of Flattery," so if you haven't been following along with the recent exploits of Old Smokey and Red Jackie, you may find those stories a helpful refresher.

While I may be the fella pulling the trigger on this particular post, the fine Mr. Ruwin is the author of many of the choicest bits you will find below, so I want to tip my ten-gallon hat to him before I go any further.

As ever, your thoughts and comments and suggestions are more than welcome. I very much hope that you enjoy the story!

I. Prologue


II. The Breaking Point

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

III. The Short Forever


IV. Feeding Frenzy


V. Shark Bait

Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Really looking forward to this...

...but it's going to be quite a while before I can get to it. I have a number of things in queue in front of it.

I'll let you know, though!

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

I just blasted through the first two parts and I'm on the edge of my seat. This is some incredible stuff. It's really amazing to see how this plane has developed into a setting for such fantastic stories, between you guys and Raven's recent forays and Barinellos and even some of the newcomers trying their hands at developing characters for the world... it's just really gratifying, after all the work getting it together.

On to part three!

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

I just got to the end and I have only one thing to say:

How dare you.

Author:  RuwinReborn [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

I just got to the end and I have only one thing to say:

How dare you.


My bad.

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Really looking forward to this...

...but it's going to be quite a while before I can get to it. I have a number of things in queue in front of it.

I'll let you know, though!

No worries, sir! Take your time. The story will be here.

When you do read it, I hope you enjoy it!


I just got to the end and I have only one thing to say:

How dare you.

Eep!

:takei:

Was it something I said?

*searches frantically for his passport and his bug-out bag*


I just blasted through the first two parts and I'm on the edge of my seat. This is some incredible stuff. It's really amazing to see how this plane has developed into a setting for such fantastic stories, between you guys and Raven's recent forays and Barinellos and even some of the newcomers trying their hands at developing characters for the world... it's just really gratifying, after all the work getting it together.

On to part three!

Keeper, I love this plane. It combines all the things I love most about Wild West mythology with the things I love most about Magic. I really think it's a winner. You and all the other worldbuilders should feel proud, and rightly so.

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

I hope that soon some of our other worlds can get the same attention that this one has, but yeah, we really hit on something resonant here, didn't we?

I just can't believe you left on that kind of cliffhanger. Outrageous. Unacceptable. I want to see the next part of this story on my desk before tomorrow morning or you're all fired.

(Also, I find it really interesting that you managed to introduce what are effectively two new characters here without it feeling in any way wrong--it just feels like the scope of the conflict is expanding. Well done. And I really like The Liar.)

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

My bad.

The weight of his words would break a lesser man's jaw.
His stories are so real, libraries put them in the non-fiction section.
It has never been "his bad."

Ruwin is... the Most Interesting Man in the Multiverse.


I just can't believe you left on that kind of cliffhanger. Outrageous. Unacceptable. I want to see the next part of this story on my desk before tomorrow morning or you're all fired.

(Also, I find it really interesting that you managed to introduce what are effectively two new characters here without it feeling in any way wrong--it just feels like the scope of the conflict is expanding. Well done. And I really like The Liar.)

The Liar is one-hundred-percent pure Ruwin. I'm always impressed at how he can write these larger-than-life villains in a way which is big but believable.

I believe my comment was something along the lines of: "I love the way his fractured speech just underscores how not-all-there he is. Well, his speech, and the rolling around in blood. The rolling around in blood also kind of underscores that point."

And, yeah, the ending is a bit of a tease. But you'll have to take my word for it - this was a good spot to take a little breather. Because things kind of accelerate from here. ;)

Author:  RuwinReborn [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

The Liar presented an interesting handful of challenges, and reading through the prologue, I realize I need to tweak a few things about it... that being said, I have grown fond of the character, and am sad that he is a psycopathic, schizophrenic ratfolk who is undoubtedly headed down a path of self-destruction.

I think. It's hard to tell with someone who never tells the truth.

@Keeper: We ended it on a cliffhanger in order to perpetuate your suffering. Didn't you know? It was your future self, driven mad by the myriad of suspenseful hiatus', who went back in time, infiltrated your dreaming consciousness, and planted the idea of the Expanded Multiverse into your head.

You are the propagator of your own despair. We are merely pieces in the puzzle of your eventual - insane - design.

...Or it just seemed pertinent to end it on a cliffhanger! :D If it's any consolation, this was originally supposed to be one story, but it was my idea to split it into two.

@OL: Ahaha, ok, so I laughed at the non-fiction one. Probably... a lot harder than I should have.

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

The Liar presented an interesting handful of challenges, and reading through the prologue, I realize I need to tweak a few things about it... that being said, I have grown fond of the character, and am sad that he is a psycopathic, schizophrenic ratfolk who is undoubtedly headed down a path of self-destruction.

I think. It's hard to tell with someone who never tells the truth.

Feel free to just s-block any edits on this thread, and I'll drop them in.


@Keeper: We ended it on a cliffhanger in order to perpetuate your suffering. Didn't you know? It was your future self, driven mad by the myriad of suspenseful hiatus', who went back in time, infiltrated your dreaming consciousness, and planted the idea of the Expanded Multiverse into your head.

You are the propagator of your own despair. We are merely pieces in the puzzle of your eventual - insane - design.

...Or it just seemed pertinent to end it on a cliffhanger! :D If it's any consolation, this was originally supposed to be one story, but it was my idea to split it into two.

Okay, that's way funnier than what I was going to say.

And, for the record, I totally agree with dividing the story here. And not just for videogame reasons!


@OL: Ahaha, ok, so I laughed at the non-fiction one. Probably... a lot harder than I should have.

My bad.

:evil:

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Mon Aug 04, 2014 11:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Haha, well, it's a credit to you both that I'm on the edge of my seat this much.

Also can I just say I love Hush Hush? They're one of the more interesting characters in this setting, I think, although their support role here is perfect since I don't know how well they'd be able to carry a story themselves.

And yeah, I still am not sure what exactly was going on in part 1 as far as the narration was concerned, but it was compelling enough that I was intrigued rather than frustrated. So that's good!

Author:  Barinellos [ Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

The Liar presented an interesting handful of challenges, and reading through the prologue, I realize I need to tweak a few things about it... that being said, I have grown fond of the character, and am sad that he is a psycopathic, schizophrenic ratfolk who is undoubtedly headed down a path of self-destruction.

I think. It's hard to tell with someone who never tells the truth.
In fairness, I don't think self-destruction is something he has to worry about if he's playing games in certain weight categories above his head.
Like the ones he's poking around in now.

... how you define "self" again?

Quote:
We ended it on a cliffhanger in order to perpetuate your suffering. Didn't you know? It was your future self, driven mad by the myriad of suspenseful hiatus', who went back in time, infiltrated your dreaming consciousness, and planted the idea of the Expanded Multiverse into your head.

You are the propagator of your own despair. We are merely pieces in the puzzle of your eventual - insane - design.

Image

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Tue Aug 05, 2014 8:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Haha, well, it's a credit to you both that I'm on the edge of my seat this much.

We will refund a percentage of your ticket price for the portion of your seat which you are not using.

That's only fair.


Also can I just say I love Hush Hush? They're one of the more interesting characters in this setting, I think, although their support role here is perfect since I don't know how well they'd be able to carry a story themselves.

I have a ridiculously soft spot for Hush-Hush. I get kind of silly-happy whenever they appear in a scene. I kind of have to watch myself to make sure that I don't write too much for them - like you said, I think they work best in small doses.

Funny thing is, I really know next-to-nothing about the twins. I don't know where they came from, I don't know what their story is, and I have very little grasp on what motivates them. They are a mystery to me.

As far as I can tell, they just find Jackie interesting in the same way that I find Jackie interesting, and they enjoy the fact that she presents them with challenging problems.

Also, that she doesn't call them strange. They appreciate that.

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

That was a really good moment. I really liked that moment. It really humanized them.

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Tue Aug 05, 2014 1:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

That was a really good moment. I really liked that moment. It really humanized them.

At first I was worried it might be a little too on-the-nose. But Mrs. OL threatened to kick me out if I cut it, so I left it in, and I'm glad I did.

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Mrs. OL knows her stuff. Sometimes you need to be a little on the nose, I think.

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Mrs. OL knows her stuff.

Indubitably.

Evidence against: She married me.

Evidence for: Everything else.

Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Thu Aug 07, 2014 3:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Okay, I have finally read this (sorry for the delay) and here is what I think about it:

Spoiler

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Thu Aug 07, 2014 9:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Story] [Jakkard] [Jackie DeCoeur] Blood on the Tracks

Hah! I guess I deserved that one. :)

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