So, I've decided to develop a new form of the sonnet. The English, or Shakespearean, Sonnet, is a 14 line poem, typically in iambic pentameter, is in a rhyme scheme of ABABCDCDEFEFGG. The Italian, or Petrarchan, rather than being formed of three quatrains and a couplet, is formed of one octave and one sestet, usually in a pattern of ABBAABBA for the octave and some combination of C, D, and E for the sestet, usually CDECDE or CDCDCD, depending.
I was thinking today that an interesting twist on the sonnet would be to have a rhyming couplet, a quatrain, and second rhyming couplet, and second quatrain, and a third, final couple, in a rhyme scheme of AABCBCDDEFEFGG. Now, I have no doubt that this sort of sonnet has been written before, but to the best of my knowledge, it doesn't have a name.
I have decided that this format might work well for some of Raiker Venn's tragic poems. The reason is, the two couplet+quatrains can serve as setting up the two components, and the final couplet serves as the last tag. Raiker does seem to find two things that he can merge into a tragic event, so it works in my head. Basically, I see the set-up like this:
Couplet (intro element #1) Quatrain (expand on element #1) Couplet (intro element #2) Quatrain (expand on element #2) Couplet (wrap-up)
Here are a few examples I threw together. These are not meant to be canon, in that I am not implying that Raiker had anything to do with the described events or settings. I just wanted to practice the new form. Enjoy!
Spoiler
A world of metal, meant to fill the hole, That’s left within a silver golem’s soul, A pristine plane that glimmers ‘neath the moons, Untainted by the sins of flesh and bone, Its core is humming with unearthly tunes, And serenades the one who waits, alone. Beneath the floating suns, a pool of oil, Remembers distant worlds, and starts to boil, And there it spreads its sickness through the lands, It flies like heavy smoke and scattered mists, Through years of patience, slowly spreads its hands, To clench the metal world within its fists, And so corrodes that shining world so bright, Into the darkness of compleated night.
Spoiler
The plane of Zendikar, where mana sings, And even lands react like living things! The energy from lands is like a child, And like all children with defiant wills, The mana here is truly something wild, And rushes forth! At times, it even kills. But deep within this world which fate has stalked, A horrifying secret has been locked. The orphans of the Aether wait within, The hedrons’ lattice, their eternal cell, For centuries they’ve waited to begin Their path of vengeance born from out that hell, The lock is broken now, the end of times Has come, and now the world pays for its crimes.
Spoiler
A glorious and beautiful expanse, That anyone would envy at a glance, Through untold reaches, precious lands would span, And rarely scorched by sun or kissed by frost, A paradise of snake and fox and man, And all the rest who’ve seen what they have lost. Now locked in crystals is that lofty sky, As all the lands below begin to die. Now all the world is trapped behind the wall, The city streets a jail with no escape, And all except the strong begin to fall Between the cracks below the cityscape. The beauty once existed, now erased, Within the vast Jakkard, the endless Waste.
Hahahaha, I like this form a lot! It has a great narrative structure to it. It's a kind of structure that I think would lend well to translation into comics form, actually--it's almost analogous to the setup, beat, punchline structure of strip comics, but with this intriguing elaboration to the setup and beat "panels." (I've been reading comics theory all day so I've got this on my mind. )
I might if I can manage to not suck at rhyming for ten solid minutes someday I don't know how you do it honestly.
Rhyming dictionaries. I wear those things out like tissue paper.
I think the most challenging poem I've written from a rhyming standpoint was Mayael's Aria. The pattern in that thing is insane. And that last stanza...so many rhymes...
I've literally been assuming this whole time that you just rhyme based entirely on what's in your head at the time, like a freestyle rapper >_<
Honestly, I do probably 4/5s of the time. I do, however, find rhyming dictionaries useful for determining where to go in those instances where I get a little stuck. As I've said before, most of the poems I've written, especially the ones you guys have seen, were written in the span of a couple hours. Some of the more complex ones take a bit longer, but usually they come pretty quickly. These Raikervennian sonnets, for instance, probably took me about half an hour each, averaging out all three. Admittedly, if I used a rhyming dictionary all the time, they would take much longer. I think I used one for two rhymes between the three poems, maybe three.
Ameran always did have a bit of a Greek inspiration to it, and you know how things usually went for mortals who challenged the gods and won in Greek myth
I'm a (self) published author now! You can find my books on Amazon in Paperback or ebook! The Accursed, a standalone young adult fantasy adventure. Witch Hunters, book one of a young adult Scifi-fantasy trilogy.
Ameran always did have a bit of a Greek inspiration to it, and you know how things usually went for mortals who challenged the gods and won in Greek myth
Actually, I could see Raiker intentionally losing the rap battle, just to make the eventual tragedy that much more poignant when he wrote his actual poem about the "winner."
The plane of Livna is a dreary place, Where rains cascade like tears upon a face, The Heavens' water forms a constant wave, And pools in streets, assailing doors and walls, The people pray in vain for gods to save Their drowning world, and yet the rain still falls. The blacksmiths weep, lament their useless brawn, For from this ground, no metal can be drawn, The fires in the forges scarcely burned, They have no way to work their precious steel, And then, one day, by happenstance they learned A way to solve their problems with a deal. And so the rains give way to deeper dread, For now the skies rain hammers down instead.
For the record, I doubt the people asked for it to rain hammers per se. They just wanted it to stop raining water. Also, apparently, they needed hammers? I don't know, Linva's a weird place...
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