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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 5:27 am 
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 8:37 am 
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I love me a fine Donagut story, and this is a good deal more than just "fine". It's short and tidy, with Donagut's smell closing the scene in a very definite way to assure the reader they have every relevant element before their eyes. There are a bunch of phrases and moments that nicely cement both the irreverent protagonist and the gritty setting, like the "funny in no amusing way" line and the kitchen raid, and then some beautiful little flourishes of wordplay - the "seams" line a clear example. About the mystery in itself I had a hunch in the right direction since the notice of orb's movement, but not enough to piece together the complete answer, which is probably the ideal balance for mystery stories. Speaking of which:

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Thank you for sharing!

(Now I'm wondering if there's a way to make Donagut work with my "red hand" story concept)

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Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale) wrote:

Johann the Bard (The Adventure Zone) wrote:

To anybody reading this, including my future selves: have a good everything!

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 3:40 pm 
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 4:00 pm 
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You'll make Raven very happy with that comment :roll:

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Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale) wrote:

Johann the Bard (The Adventure Zone) wrote:

To anybody reading this, including my future selves: have a good everything!

My creative archive


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 5:20 pm 
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You'll make Raven very happy with that comment :roll:

:thumbsup:

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 6:56 pm 
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Naturally, I'd like to thank you both for reading.
And I'd also like to share another, slightly tongue in cheek nod I made in this tale.
In deciding to do a locked-door mystery (a fact Donagut was seemingly meta upset about) I did a little background into the subgenre to see what I could pluck out to better the story.
According to wikipedia, the first successful tale in the subgenre belonged to Edgar Allen Poe in his story... The Murder at Rue Morgue.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 8:01 pm 
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Barinellos wrote:
Naturally, I'd like to thank you both for reading.
And I'd also like to share another, slightly tongue in cheek nod I made in this tale.
In deciding to do a locked-door mystery (a fact Donagut was seemingly meta upset about) I did a little background into the subgenre to see what I could pluck out to better the story.
According to wikipedia, the first successful tale in the subgenre belonged to Edgar Allen Poe in his story... The Murder at Rue Morgue.

I figured that was the reference you were making, although, despite having read a great deal of Poe over my life, I have never actually read that particular story. I've got it around here somewhere, but I've never read it.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 8:19 pm 
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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