As always, very strong writing. I will say I had a bit of a hard time pushing through the prologue, as it really didn’t capture my interest much, but once we got into the story itself, I thought it was extremely engaging.

At one point, you had this sentence: “Those few who even suspect there are greater worlds out there, mostly mages, have no way of proving their work, but then there are those like me.” – I’m not convinced “work” is the word you want here. It really jumped out to me as a reader, and seemed sort of out of place.

This one is just personal, but when Keris says: “Tell me something I don't know Raef”, I hated that. I am personally very against that particular cliché.

I really enjoyed this first part, and I just have to note that I love the switch between first person and third to denote the shift between Raef and Raefiel. Excellent touch. I noticed it immediately, and it really did serve to emphasis the switch. I also really like the Jekyll/Hyde thing with an angelic alternate. Very interesting.

I really liked the Ellysium section of part two, but honestly, the rest didn’t do much for me. The first section was good, just not my taste. I had the same problem with the Agrus Kos stuff in the Ravnica novels. I just don’t like modern cop-drama stuff infused with MTG, but that’s just personal preference.

With the last section, though, a lot of the conversation between Raef and Keris seems false. It seems much more likely, based on what you’ve shown us of Raef and what we know of planeswalker’s in general, that he would have just said nothing about his “curse” as he called it and let it go. I don’t know, but that whole conversation just stands out to me as too quick and insincere.

Early in the section, you said, describing Centerfort, “it reminds me of nothing so much as a spider,” which reads pretty awkwardly to me.

In the sentence, “The Azorius Senate, served as the judges of Ravnica, measuring the penance of anybody we apprehended whenever they got around to trials.” – I really don’t think you need or want that first comma. It creates a strange, unnatural break.

And finally, in the sentence, “I'd been there for a while, put the solitude felt like penance that I deserved.” – I assume you meant “but” instead of “put”.

In the spoiler blocks for parts three and four, you switch to Roman Numerals. Probably not a big deal, just seems weird to switch.

Also, I noticed that part three is the only part not to have an epigraph, which seems odd.

I really enjoyed part three, but then, I’m always a big fan of these one-on-one combat scenes. My only real concern here again turns to cliché. The whole poisoned drink/knockout thing is pretty overdone, but I was willing to overlook it based on the strength of the writing. But then the Bond villain moment of leaving Raef to die was a bit too much for me. I know you needed him away for plot reasons, but I really dislike that cliché.

In the beginning of the section, you say, “The faux-rain slicked cobbles”, which reads very awkwardly, because both faux-rain and rain-slicked would ordinarily be hyphenated for clarity reasons, but faux-rain-slicked doesn’t really work either. It's just sort of awkward for the reader.

Then near the end, in the sentence, “They won’t work in the same fashion as my brother employed them, as you do not the blood needed, but if you study them, you could learn something of the magic behind them.” – I assume you missed the word “have” in “you do not the blood needed.”

Still, though, I am really liking this story in general, and this section was, overall, very good.

In the beginning of this section, you spend a lot of time describing the city and the large building, and provide some really interesting detail, but I do feel this section, especially as a kick-off for your final part, probably goes on a bit too long.

I was a little surprised at the lack of action in the final section, just compared to some of the previous ones. Also, considering this was essentially Raef’s revelation, I thought we might have gotten more of Liecitel’s background than we needed, although it wasn’t distracting or anything. I also found it a bit strange that the crystals from the previous section didn’t even get a mention here. All in all, I think part four serves as a nice wrap-up for the storyline, but I think it’s a sort of weak section taken on its own.

In the sentence, “On second thought, no, I decided, it definitely disturbed be a great deal more than it possibly could him.” – I imagine you mean “me” instead of “be”.

As always, I think your writing is excellent. Your descriptions are rich and really help bring the world out, and I like the things you do with character development, as well as a nice merger of action and exposition. So as a whole, I definitely like this piece, and I was glad to see a return to Ellysium, which was a pretty cool world.

I found the disappearance of Keris to be pretty jarring, though. In section two, she and Raef have their little moment, which I talked about above, but she really doesn’t factor in the story at all after that point. To me, that further cements that Raef, as a character, would not have even mentioned the problem to her. He was also pretty willing to divulge his massive secret to Liecitel at the end, but that makes at least SOME degree of sense, because she was the only one likely to know his answer.

So ultimately, I like the story, and I like Raef as a character. But while I think it’s good, I do not think this is your strongest piece. Also, I agree that “Legacies” really doesn’t fit as a title here.

Honestly, the descriptions were just in my system so... I wanted to stress the distance he had to travel and I really really hate when we do the "screen flips around" change. I want the distance to mean something.

It was a talky chapter, in part because I felt it was what was needed to actually tell the story.
The bits with Liecitel were meant to set up the conclusion essentially outlining that you are what you choose to be. It created a parallel to Raef's predicament by showing that even when there are things outside your control, it is more important, ultimately to embrace what you strive for.

As to the crystals, I never mentioned that he even took them, the corruption they represented might have been a price too high for Raef to deal with. Leave it up to the reader for the moment. But yeah, as a conclusion, this part wasn't really meant to be read as a stand alone.

It's guilt that keeps him away, thought I'd developed his personality to the point that it would follow that line of logic... but even then, how is the injured woman supposed to factor in again? She does gain mention again in the epilogue, which is supposed to be very much indicative of a shift in his personality following the revelation.

Honestly, you're making a pretty large assumption about his list of priorities. He even tells her, in between the lines admittedly, that he isn't from Ravnica. He just doesn't correct the assumption he knows she'll make. Raef doesn't look at his walkerhood the same way as Jace or some others. It's more an open secret to him.
I know that might come across as a little defensive or hostile, but I don't really mean for it to.

Typo:
There needs to be a "which" after that first comma, or that comma can be done away with entirely, or you could turn "measuring" into "measured" -- point is, the sentence is a little off.

I am completely enamored with the first half of part 2 here. You drop just the right amount of exposition and make so many perfect references to earlier material -- like mentioning the fifth district.

Confusion:
It's unclear to me whom this dialogue is actually from. Logic dictates it should be Boreas, but then not one but two other names are used at the end of it.

This line:
Is slightly confusing. I know what you mean in it, but it took two or three reads to get it clearly.

In this line:
The use of the word "freaking" really stands out to me. It might be personal bias, but to me that word has modern connotations that make it hard to justify using it in fantasy writing.

In this line:
The use of "woman" creates a bit of a disconnect in my mind, as it takes me a moment to apply woman to giant. I'm not sure if it would actually benefit from any word change, though. Just pointing it out. (And a personal note: I don't mean that I see the giants as automatically male, but that applying woman or man to giant takes me a moment because those former words bring to mind normal-sized humans.)

???
I think it should be "with" instead of "within" considering the context, but I'm not 100% on that. It doesn't sound quite right but I'm not good at grammar to begin with.

Punctuation needed:
I just feel that this line reads poorly without any.

Typo?
Should that be "but"?

This line:
Saying her voice broke is kind of unneeded, since you include ellipses to signify that in her dialogue.

I tripped up on the line:

I don't think the sentence actually needs to be changed, I just thought I'd bring it to your attention.

Maybe a tense issue:

I would expect it to be "have since" but I'm not sure that would be accurate.

I feel this line:

Would read better as "though it felt alien, [...] I agreed with Raefiel." As it is, it sounds more like the satisfaction is what felt alien. Unless that's what you were going for and I'm grossly misreading you here.

Typo:

Should be "a set of golden pauldrons".

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Is that a Doctor Who reference I spy during the fight scene?
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Typo:


I believe it's meant to be "as you do not have the blood needed".

Typo:

Should be "disturbed me a great deal more".

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I find it interesting how the talk with the goblin puts a time frame to Raef's visit to Ravnica. Just a little added detail, and I like that was included subtly and not overtly.
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I think saying "I clapped at the door" sounds a little funny, like he stood outside giving a short round of applause or something. Just my thoughts.

The line:

Confuses me slightly. My first reaction is "that should be changed with a d," but I'm not really sure what's being said here.

This is a little awkward.
Redundant
I'd use "at most" here. That reads a little better to me.
I think you probably meant to put something else here, since right now it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Also, I'm with Luna on "freaking." Regardless of whether it's logical, seeing that word definitely did pull me out of the narrative in a way that none of the other word choices did.

Something does feel a bit off with Raef's interaction with Liecitel. I think the problem for me is that I didn't quite get why Raef would be so freaked out by his angel nature. I mean, he already thought he turned into one, and the whole not-aging thing seemed like a bit of a dead giveaway, and one eye was different so he knows there's some physical changes and all of that almost telegraphed to me too effectively that he wasn't human anymore, to the point where I was waiting for Liecitel to drop some even more freaky news.

Regardless, I'd agree that it's the least strong section of the four, possibly just because it hasn't been as polished as the other three. There's just something about the interaction with Liecitel that doesn't ring completely true for me, and something about the revelation that's falling a little flat.

I have to echo the feelings of the others re: Liet leaving Raef with the angel. I think you've got a problem of improper signalling. There's so much in the lead-up to the fight that suggests he wants to watch, between the setting, the suspense before the angel appears, and Liet's own grandstanding. I mean you even call out the box seat as a significant signifier for Liet's character! All of that signals that he'd stick around, so his absence feels off. On top of that, his death has always felt a little... well... perfunctory to me.

The best solution might be to simply have him stay but have Raef notice that he's become conspicuously absent at some point during the fight (he might notice either during the fight itself or afterward when the angel stops). That would build the tension a little bit more for when Raef returns to the room, and would make Liet's actions more consistent with the overall elements within that scene.

I'm almost inclined to say you should just make up a new verse for the Angel song to stick in front of part 3, since that is sort of an odd absence, and there's no reason we should feel super constrained to just what verses are available in canon.

The disappearance of the stones from the narrative bothers me a lot. I just don't see any utility in leaving the question of whether he took the stones up in the air. I mean, at the very least it makes things a little harder to build upon since a future author would have to either stay away from those stones or make a determination about their existence that could have a significant impact on Raef's perceived character.

It comes down to identity. Here's the thing, Raef didn't know he had been turned into an angel. He knew the Rapture tried, but not what it meant for him.
It's the difference between understanding you have a cybernetic limb and learning that you've been an android copy the entire time.
It's about self perception. When you think you are human, learning that you AREN'T is... a major major crisis. We accept as fundamental that our humanity is something to take as granted. It's a rather classic science fiction piece.

Aside from that, it took away one of his major psychological defenses against Raefiel. He is an angel, I am not. He is a psychopathic zealot, I am normal. Learning that there is physically no difference between yourself and the monster that you keep locked up in your head... it shatters that degree of separation you keep between the two.