I assume that ability means something along the lines of super-first-strike.
Seems to conflict a bit with the regen, but probably negligible.

"When ~ gets blocked, you may have her deal damage equal to her power divided as you choose among creatures blocking her. If you do, she deals no combat damage this combat."

Maybe?

Yeah, the idea was, in fact, to give her super first strike. (she's a quick-draw specialist) Essentially, it allows her to deal damage at the end of the declare blockers step.

Unfortunately, that suggested wording doesn't allow her the same freedom while she herself is blocking.

OL requested that we find a way to design her in a way that made it so that she was able to beat other first-strikers. I find the design to be rather elegant - though I need to change the text to read "combat damage" which I will do now!

Is there a reason it needs to be First Strike, CKY? I'm willing to accommodate, but that probably also needs to be run by OL in any case.

@Beryl: Hmm. You'd have to ask OL. I'm obviously in favor of my design, because I think it explores a design space that separates her from Chandra as a different sort of pyromancer. But, like I said, it's up to OL.

Upon further review of my Beryl, it would probably be best to drop the part that generates two red mana, and reinstate the ability to recur instants.

I think a better is something along the line of the often used "at the beginning of your upkeep,...." clause: "Red-Eyed Jackie deals combat damage at the end of the declare blockers step/phase." (I'm not sure if it is a step or a phase.)

"When ~ blocks or becomes blocked by a creature(s), you may have her deal damage equal to her power divided as you choose among them. If you do, she deals no combat damage this combat."
I'd drop the combat damage tidbit since it's generally irrelevant.
Well, no, it's not irrelevant. But it's unnecessary complexity.
Even fighting doesn't do combat damage, so this shouldn't either.

Ah, so the super first strike is integral to the design. I was hoping to cut down on complicated mechanics, but if OL requested that then it can't be helped.

How about first strike and "creatures blocking or blocked by ~ lose first strike," like Talruum Champion?

And double strike.

And double strike.

I'm adding Kyara, Lys and Motta to the set archives. As for Astria, what do you all think of this version:

Astria, Revoker of Names

Legendary Creature – Human Wizard (R)
1/2

, : Tap target creature and put a manipulation counter on it. Then if there are three or more manipulation counters on that creature, gain control of that creature for as long as you control Astria, Revoker of Names.
As long as you control a creature you don't own, Astria has hexproof.

That Astria works fine for me - but again, OL has the final say there!

When I first made Jackie, I was thinking about giving it an ability like Talruum Champion, but that's a lot of text one a card with three abilities. I was looking to minimize the text, and came up with that ability instead.

That being said, to me, the ability reads fairly intuitively, but then I'm biased and already know what I'm talking about.

Should've just given her a mechanic called "Firstest Strike"...

For what it's worth, I really like that Astria.

Oh, wow, I sparked more conversations than I realized. Let me see if I can catch up with everything. If I forget something, joke poke me hard in the ribs.


Gets a big ol' thumbs-up from me! If we wanted flavor text, a possibility might be:

"I haven't come to argue with you, nor have I come to offer you a choice."
-Astria Tevanei, Court Sorceress

***

RE: Jackie and first-est strike, my hope was just to come up with some mechanic that allowed her to always get the first shot in, as it were. I'm happy with whatever implementation best achieves that in a manner which isn't too tortuous from a rules templating perspective.

***



I'm actually a big fan of both Beryl, Guardian of Flame and Beryl, Fire-Walker. I really like the +1s on both of them. The Circle-of-Flame style effect does a good job of capturing the fact that I think Beryl would go to extreme lengths to protect the people she cares about and to punish the people who threaten them, and it gets around needing to use ProtRed on a red card. I also think the ability to recycle burn spells and/or generate some fast mana really captures this kind of heightened state she goes into when the fire takes over, as she puts it.

I hate to sound like I'm ducking the issue, but I would be happy with either design, or with some combination of the two.

***

EDIT: If we want flavor text for Jackie, I kind of like:

"I’ve been dead once before. It didn’t take."
-Jackie DeCoeur

Or:

Yet still, ‘bout Red Jackie, some don’t know how to feel,
Some claim that she’s an angel and gave out the gift a’ steel,
Maybe when it’s said and done, no one really knows,
But I ain’t never seen an angel with eyes as red as those!

Also, we totally shouldn't make this card, but here's one for a horrible M:EM inside joke:

Raining Hammers

Sorcery

Tap all creatures. Those creatures do not untap during their controller's next untap step.

Raining Hammers deals 2 damage to all creatures.

Mostly cloudy, with a 70-percent chance of concussion.

I just want to say, it gives me a nice, egotistical little jolt when you guys use one of my verses! It makes me think I almost know what I'm doing...

So, this is actually something of a plant for... other stuff, but I like it a lot after having fiddled with it a LOT.

Throne of the Fallen King
Artifact R+
As an additional cost to cast Throne of the Fallen King, exile all lands you control.

Creatures you control have Lifelink

You may pay life to add X mana of any color where X is the amount of life paid this way.

That last ability doesn't wok as worded. Proper wording would be, either "Pay 1 life: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool." or "You may pay life at any time. When you do, add that much mana of any combination of colors to your mana pool.". Though I think you're trying to go for it as a static ability so, "You may pay life as if it where mana of any color." might be better.

I can tell you right now that Throne of the Fallen King is broken. While a big part of Channel being restricted is that it only costs 2, I don't think is sufficient to keep this from being abused horribly. It is a really evocative effect though.

Hmmm.

Poetic License to Kill
Instant
Destroy target creature.
If another creature shares it's name,
You may sacrifice a land
If you do, return Poetic Licence to Kill
to its owner's hand.

I spent way to much time on a throwaway joke.

Well, I enjoyed it, at least!

Honestly, one of the biggest problems was Poetic License to Kill is a heck of a lot of syllables.

Yeah, and it doesn't fit too easily into a meter, either. Oh, well, like I said, I still like it.

"You tried your hand to fill the blanks,
As time elapsed and pressure mounts,
And so you have my humble thanks,
Because it is the thought that...matters."

Yeah, in fairness, it's supposed to be sort of broken.
I mean, if you think changing the mana cost can even it out, the only other clause I can think of would be to negate X spells from it.