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 Post subject: [Story]Eye for an Eye
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:32 am 
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So, while I should be working on the next chapter of War of the Wheel, or grading papers for work, I have instead decided to write a new story with new characters and new settings, in a new style. I make bad decisions...

Anyway, please enjoy my newest story, Eye for an Eye! As I said, this is pretty...intensely different from my other stuff, so we'll see how this goes. This should probably have a few trigger warnings attached to it, but I'm having trouble deciding how to phrase them, so let's just say, approach this piece with some degree of caution.

Have fun!

Eye for an Eye


Last edited by RavenoftheBlack on Sat Oct 25, 2014 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:04 am 
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Just a quick note to say that I'm hoping to get to this, and the latest WotW chapter, tonight.

Thanks, Raven!

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 11:25 am 
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Just a quick note to say that I'm hoping to get to this, and the latest WotW chapter, tonight.

Thanks, Raven!

Cool. Well, if you get to them, I hope you enjoy!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:01 pm 
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Well, as a great fan of detective stories, this one was pretty much my sort of thing.

I'm reminded very much of Philip Marlowe's famous line (I think in Farewell, My Lovely, but it could be The Big Sleep: "I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country."

In my head, I have just decided that Donagut's middle name is McGruff.

Very noir-ish, very neat. And a thematically-appropriate outlet for all those puns. :)

Thanks for sharing this one, Raven!

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:44 pm 
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Very noir-ish, very neat. And a thematically-appropriate outlet for all those puns. :)

What puns? This doesn't have puns. I...I don't use puns...

:paranoid:

Anyway, thanks for reading! This one was an experiment in a few ways, but I do hope these characters came across as more or less "serious," because I do have some tentative plans for the long-distant future that will likely involve one or more of them.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:43 pm 
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Anyway, thanks for reading! This one was an experiment in a few ways, but I do hope these characters came across as more or less "serious," because I do have some tentative plans for the long-distant future that will likely involve one or more of them.

Just as long as that cyclops hunter doesn't get the wrong idea about a certain visually-impaired friend of mine...

:paranoid:

In all seriousness, though, I think the characters are just fine. They have a kind of dark-comic, sardonic edge to them. But, like I tried to say above, that's genre-appropriate. The hard-boiled detective often casts a jaded eye on the little moments of black humor which the fates throw his or her way.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:53 pm 
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Just as long as that cyclops hunter doesn't get the wrong idea about a certain visually-impaired friend of mine...

:paranoid:

Spoiler


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 10:40 am 
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Oh, there's one thing I forgot to add.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:07 am 
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Oh, there's one thing I forgot to add.

Well, now the suspense is just killing me!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 12:15 pm 
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Oh, there's one thing I forgot to add.

Well, now the suspense is just killing me!

Such is the resplendent recipe for a delicate, delectable Disappointment Pâté!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:56 pm 
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On the same note as Orcish's The Wind and the Waves, I'm bumping this to see if anyone has anything else to say about it.

So, any other comments on this dogged private eye?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:45 pm 
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I'm sorry I haven't read this, but I haven't been in any condition to give anybody much feedback over the past few weeks (much to the bane of Orcish).
I'll... I'll try and get to it at some point, but I won't promise anything Raven.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:49 pm 
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If you can, that would be cool, but don't worry too much about it. I don't want people not enjoying my stuff, so if you're not in a place where reading this can be enjoyable, then don't read it!

:D


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:50 pm 
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I will read this tonight in between turns of Civilization: Beyond Earth.

Should have PLENTY of time.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:56 am 
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I will read this tonight in between turns of Civilization: Beyond Earth.

Should have PLENTY of time.

:thumbsup:


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:14 am 
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So, any other comments on this dogged private eye?

I've already said my piece, but I'll reiterate:

:thumbsup:

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 5:10 am 
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Yeah, this was good. Creepy, pretty depressing, but good. I enjoyed the POV character (who I believe is some sort of dogfolk?) and the letters really added to the flavor of the story.

Unfortunately, I've never really been enamored with serial killers as I know some people are. Which is still a sort of weird thing to think about because people are enamored with serial killers WHY? I'm obviously not casting aspersions on anyone's character here, but I will say this - they make for compelling villains.

Whether they're worth redeeming or killing depends on the character, methinks. I'm wondering what sort Blink is...?

Anyway, thanks for posting Raven! Nice work as usual!

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 1:53 pm 
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@Ruwin: Thanks for reading, and glad you enjoyed it! I had fun writing Donagut, and I have certain plans for him in the future...

Oh, yes...

plans...

:plot:

Anyway, as for serial killers, I'm fairly indifferent to them as characters, but I thought it would be interesting to see a planeswalking serial killer, who had the whole multiverse to work with, particularly with a trigger that a fantasy setting could find multiple ways to access (those poor little reticulated Singlox!) I find it interesting that Blink seems to have an irrational hatred of things with one eye, but is opportunistic enough to utilize the removed eyes to her benefit. I suspect she doesn't treat her eye-creatures very well, though...

Thanks for reading!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 10:16 pm 
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Ruwin, I confess to being similarly baffled by the fascination with serial killers.

Mrs. OL, on the other hand, loves Hannibal. Whereas I have to put on my headphones and go to my happy place while she watches.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 10:20 pm 
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Ruwin, I confess to being similarly baffled by the fascination with serial killers.

Mrs. OL, on the other hand, loves Hannibal. Whereas I have to put on my headphones and go to my happy place while she watches.

Did Mrs. OL read this story? I'd love her feedback if she did/does!

:D


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