Hi! Y'all don't know me, but I am definitely not a goblin. Anyway, here's a story I wrote about goblins.


The Pinch

Three goblins were sitting on some rocks. One sun was setting, the other one was rising. It was hot. It was always hot on Khrov. Even rain was hot on Khrov. But it hadn’t rained in a long, long time.

Fat goblin said “Hungry.”

Tall goblin looked at him, opened his mouth, then closed it. He nodded instead.

It had been a long time since they had eaten. There was never much food on Khrov. It was always hot. Things didn’t grow well here, especially up in the mountains. And Khrov had a lot of mountains.

Tall goblin said “Thirsty.”

Fat goblin swallowed air. His mouth was suddenly dry. He tried to speak again, but it hurt. Fat goblin nodded instead.

The wind was blowing out of the south. It was a hot wind. The winds were always hot on Khrov. This wind, though, was hotter than usual. This was the Sun’s Thumb. The Sun’s Thumb always followed behind Crimson when it set in the north. And Crimson was setting now.

Fat goblin said “Hot.”

Tall goblin nodded. He didn’t try to speak.

Then the winds increased. A new wind was coming. This was the Sun’s Finger. The Sun’s Finger always pushed ahead of Scarlet when it rose in the west. And the Sun’s Finger was always hot.

Tall goblin said “Bored.”

Fat goblin nodded.

Both goblins looked at the third. Masked goblin looked back. Somehow, his mask looked sad.

Masked goblin said “Soon.”

The Sun’s Thumb and the Sun’s Finger were about to meet. This rarely happened. The suns of Khrov moved without telling one another. They never spoke. Sun’s Thumb always followed Crimson. Sun’s Finger always led Scarlet. Ten years pass between the meeting of Thumb and Finger. Ten years passed since last these three goblins sat on these rocks. Ten years passed since last these goblins were hungry and thirsty, hot and bored, on the suns-scorched mountains of Khrov.

Masked goblin said “Now.”

The gushing of Sun’s Thumb, rushing toward them from the south on its way to catch up to Crimson, suddenly surged forward with all its power. The air was alight with a mystical energy. Sun’s Thumb always carried a dull, red tint. From the west, Sun’s Finger rushed onward to herald the arrival of Scarlet. Sun’s Finger always glimmered with a ruby’s glow. And when Sun’s Thumb and Sun’s Finger met, the sky erupted in a shower of cascading, brilliant light.

Masked goblin jumped off the rock and walked over to the chasm. It was deep. It was dark. On most days, it was too deep and too dark to see down into the chasm. It was always too deep and too dark. Except today. Except when Sun’s Thumb and Sun’s Finger come together in the Pinch, the name given to the High Mountains of Khrov.

Masked goblin stared down into the illuminated gorge. Fat goblin and tall goblin walked over to him. Khrov was not their home. They had been born in other places, on other worlds. Fat goblin and tall goblin looked at their friend, and then they looked down into the chasm. They saw, just barely in the flickering light of the sky, the pile of goblin bones.

Masked goblin said “Family.”

Fat goblin and Tall goblin looked at their friend. They saw two small drops of liquid trickle from the bottom of Masked goblin’s mask. Khrov was not their home. It had never been their home. And it had not been their family that had been murdered and thrown into the deep, dark chasm at the top of the Pinch. It had not been they who had been tortured and tormented until they finally, desperately escaped not just their oppressors, but the very bounds of the plane of Khrov itself. It had only been Masked goblin.

After just a few, short minutes, the Sun’s Thumb and the Sun’s Finger moved past one another, and the light faded. The goblin bones were covered once again by the darkness of the deep chasm.

Masked goblin whispered “Rest.”

For several minutes, Fat goblin, Tall goblin and Masked goblin stood there and said nothing. They were hungry. They were thirsty. They were hot. Masked goblin nodded, and they left Khrov.

It would be ten years before Sun’s Thumb and Sun’s Finger met once more. It would be ten years before the Pinch would light the world with fire of Crimson and Scarlet. It would be ten years before Fat goblin and Tall goblin were hungry, thirsty, hot and bored, all at the same time. It would be ten years before Masked goblin greeted his family once again. And in ten years, when the heat and light of Khrov disturbed their rest again, Masked goblin would be there to greet them, and bid them farewell.

Welcome to the forums, Disguised Goblin! Glad you're not a goblin! Goblins aren't allowed here.

Stories about goblins are allowed though. And you know what? I dig this. It's simple and doesn't have a lot of narrative to it, but it's interesting and evocative and it conveys its setting and story effectively. This is a solid piece of work.

Is this a one-off thing or something you have more plans for in the future?

The Stylism is really potent and it hits notes that most of our archives don't.

I'll do a robust review after a bit, but at a glance, it looks really strong.

I haven't thought about it much. I got the idea, well, loosely, from one of your guys's stories, so I thought I'd give it a try here. I haven't given much thought to how far I want to push the character or how long I want to keep the story going.

Welcome, goblin friend!

(As an orc, which I think makes me somehow, someway related to goblins, I feel like we can speak freely. Besides, the forum is called "No Goblins Allowed." We're allowed to have one goblin.)

Thanks so much for stopping by and for posting the story. This has already been said, but it seldom hurts to repeat things, so I'll say it again - I think you've created a really wonderful style and tone here. Writing a little while saying a lot is always a hard thing to do, but you've pulled it off very neatly indeed. The economy and structure of the language is just very correct for the subject.

I really enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to seeing anything else you post going forward.

And I'm just stopping by to say hello and to say that I will try to read over this and give my thoughts as soon as I can!

Ditto.

I've still got to finish Arbagoth which is still up for vote, read through Corrosion which soon will be, catch up with some other stories hopefully like those concerning Jackie DeCoeur (god I hope I spelled that right); BUT, seeing as how this is short I can probably knock it out in less than an hour some day soon. I can give you some feedback once I do.

Incidentally, the story that you say inspired you -- would that be the one about Gruff, our goblin planeswalker whom I may have not gotten around to uploading here yet? (Oh gog I need to upload so much stuff...)

Well, thanks! It's so friendly around here, I really like AAHHH! I mean, goblin friend? What goblin friend? Did you let a goblin in here? I mean, you couldn't have been talking to me, what with my not being a goblin and all. hahahahahahahahaha, funny mistake there on your part, no hard feelings of course.

Anyway, I'm glad people seem to like this, and for anyone who hasn't read it, I hope you do. Like it, that is. Not read it. I mean, I hope you read it, too, and then like it. I guess what I'm saying is that when you read it, if you do, that the reading of it will be liked...by you... Let me start over.

Like read you when if hope I this you it and.

There, that's better.

Well, whatever the case may be, I hope to see you around more often, and maybe you might see me in the AF&S from time to time.

Thanks! And I realized I never answered your question.

I actually don't think I've seen a Gruff story here. No, this story came about because of the three goblin planeswalkers in the cruelest finale. They weren't very important to the story, but it got me thinking about what three goblin planeswalkers would be like, since most of us aren't planeswalkers. Uh, OR GOBLINS! Yeah, since most of us humans aren't planeswalkers or goblins, I wondered what they'd be like, and then this story happened.

Exactly right, sir. Exactly right.

Huh. Right. I forgot about them.

I wonder if they could actually be that same trio... Raven, any thoughts on that?

Disguised Goblin, out of curiosity, how'd you find us and that story in particular?

I uploaded Gruff's character sheet, but I don't think that story he was in was ever voted on. Either that, or I can't find it among my files. Anyway it's up now.

I like this very much. It makes me smile and I find I like it when I smile. I like the story because it makes me smile.
Is the Masked Goblin the only planeswalker in the group, or are all three goblins walkers? I kind of got the impression that the masked goblin was the only walker in the group and the other two were his buddies that tag along with him everywhere.
I also like the descriptions of Khrov. Isn't that a real place in MTG? I thought I heard of it before, but a Gatherer search turns up nothing.

Interesting. I inspired somebody! Neat. Anyway, I gave this a quick read, although I want to read it through a little more carefully before I give a full critique. But in terms of Keeper's question, I'm not seeing anything here that would indicate that these goblins CAN'T be the Ruk Gang from The Cruel Finale. I didn't describe them physically in the story. In fact, they only receive about two or three sentences of text. Also, I created the Ruk Gang without any plans personally to use them, so I'm perfectly fine with them being expanded on by others.


Maybe you're thinking of Prahv? Sounds similar to me.

I think I was actually thinking of Kher.

Ahh, that makes sense.

Krov was also the capital of Kjeldor during the Ice Age. It became a plague-ridden zombie-infested hellhole after the Worldspell. See: Krovikan Rot. Not surprising that somewhere else in the Multiverse shares a similar name.

By the Reckless One, Gruff is a great character! Umm, I mean, 'By the wreck of the Les I." It's a ship, an ordinary human ship with ordinary human people, like me...

Anyway, Gruff is cool. And sad. And I can see how my story of cool, sad goblins is similar to that story of a cool, sad goblin...


I was looking for some Magic fan fiction stuff on official boards, and I saw other HUMANS asking why it was dead over there, and someone had a link to this one, so I checked it out. I've lurked for a little while and read most of the stuff in your archives. I think the finale story really spoke to me because of the emotion involved. I always like stories with a lot of emotion, and that got me thinking. Plus I like goblins.

Uh, in stories! In life, they're bad and should be disallowed...

Wow, well, it's great to know we've got a fan of our stuff in general and Raven's story in particular! o_o That's awesome