Sharaka "Shaka" Tharnak Koz'ti
The viashino we know as Sharaka. Being a common name in the viashino, it has a number of common nicknames, like Richard has Rich, Ricky, Dick and so on. Shaka is one of those, and she'll be addressed as such by most peers - and by this notes, to avoid confusion.
Narrative role: PoV, symbol of the viashino's crisis.
New skills: Heartstoking (emotion magic) mirroring her introspection and new view of social bonds, future replacing her lost arm via pyromancy and fire-wings spell, potential phoenix summoning

Sharaka "Shari" Hiskak Itkati
The "other" Sharaka. Very close friend of Shaka.
Narrative role: The warm heart of the people, what Sharaka wants but has to eventually renounce.
Evolution: Struggle from the inability to relate to Shaka anymore.

Geshiya Natak Itkati, the Loremaster
One of the youngest Loremaster in hystory, a very pragmatic strategist with an amiable facade and a cynical inner side.
Narrative role: Incarnation of history and hierarchy, with its contradictions and hypocrisies. Leads Sharaka to leaving the plane, possibly forever.
Evolution: Grows affectionate to Shaka's meetings, as it's the only moment where he can be brutally honest.

-General: idealization, disillusion, loss of direction, belonging, legacy
-Shaka and Geshiya (dialogue): power, education (as in controlling the information) and freedom, and the responsibility they entail.
-Shari and Geshiya (juxtaposition): idealism vs cynicism, affection vs detachment.
-Shaka and Shari (narration): growing apart, being unable to relate to loved ones

Viashino history - a problematic narrative
Originally the Burnspine society was strictly hierarchical, and racially so: every tribe was ruled by a draconic bloodline who kept the viashino as loyal subjects and the goblins as cattle slaves.
Viashino culture has undergone a severe change after the "dragonfall", from seeing the dragons as blessed leaders descended from the loving spirits to vicious and power-mad tyrants, children of the same spirits now absent and uncaring except for the primordial and unthinking Fire. The viashino's revolutionary movement for independence was spearheaded by the "viashino" now known as the Prophet, who unbeknownst to almost everybody was a shapeshifted form of the Elder Dragon responsible for the Forge Phoenix's awakening that sent the dragons (who were conquering human lands against his council) into turmoil by appealing to a draconic legend of old.
Every major player in this mess is meant to be morally grey at best: the viashino took part in a power structure that glorified dragons and kept goblins in terrible conditions, both viashino and goblin were draconic subjects and had no codified rights but goblins' lives were seen as much more expendable and their souls almost without value in the viashino system of beliefs that the dragons approved of. Viashino culture to this day vilifies and ridicules goblins, who have escaped during the draconic extermination and burrowed deep into the Burnspine - those who didn't ended up siding with the dragons during the conflict and were thus massacred. Even the Elder, who stirred the fires of revolution so the viashino could survive the warring dragons in a conflict very much of their own making, never cared about the goblins.
In the present day, Geshiya as a Loremaster is one of the few scholars aware of the blind admiration (most) ancient viashino had for the dragons and of the suspicious mystery about the Prophet's origins, and sees the change of perspective in viashino culture as propaganda spread to wash viashino hands of the atrocities they committed under draconic rule. Sharaka, brought up with the common idea of tyrannical dragons, disagrees and maintains that the viashino were enslaved and brainwashed, bringing her to explore her own experience in Sophron's "service". Geshiya is derisive of Sharaka's position, and would prefer her to agree with him so Sharaka can gain the perspective needed - according to him - to navigate the wide Multiverse, but at the same time the "apologist" narrative is what he needs to be spread in order to successfully propagate the viashino culture as he is meant to do as a Loremaster. His own bitterness for his growth as a sheltered young academic prodigy might play into it, and Sharaka might call him out on that once she polishes her Empath skills.
IRL Problematic side: the viashino were near to extinction after the dragonfall, and as such nowadays they bring the signs of a scarred (and oppressed? Sharaka and another's viashino slavery makes it not that big of a leap) race and are currently in the crosshairs of the human ascendant empire, whose ruler intends to demonize and slaughter the loathed viashino in order to make a united front of his provinces. However, the viashino did take part to terrible acts of violence and racial oppression of their own under the draconic rule, and their revolution's ideology was heavily influenced by yet another dragon, somewhat mirroring the French revolution fought by peasants but stirred by the bourgeoisie, and I would very much avoid be seen as justifying any IRL ethnic cleansing by relating it to imaginary (in most if not all IRL examples) crimes of the victims. Predating the goblin's separation would make the racist atrocities more distant, but I'm not sure it'd do anything tangibly good to the matter, and I'm not sure I'm willing to abandon the racial hierarchy in the draconic society so the goblin can be less formally under viashino power, although it's starting to look like the best option right now.

Three parts. (chapter division=?)
Names could be changed.
Every line requires at least one scene.

First Part: The Past - the Timber
Shaka gets a checkup on its return.
Geshiya learns of her Spark and orders her to keep it secret.
Narration of three significant episodes of her past: blossoming of Shaka's magic (night after her mother's culling), Shaka taking the mantle of temp Commander, fight against Soulsworn and capture.
Shaka rejoins Shari in her friend's home, discovering that Shari's sharing it with another mate now. (not exclusive, but Shaka had some undisclosed feelings for Shari)
Geshiya explains to Shaka that she has the potential to become a Heartstoker, and she's going to train as one, in addition to learn how to fight one-armed. They'll also have regular meetings for undisclosed reasons.

Second Part: The Present - The Fire
Geshiya explains the hidden history of the Burnspine, and how much of the culture and power the viashino have lifted or stolen from the publicly condemned dragons. One of his gifts, the Ravager's Fang, is the living tooth of a dragon traditionally gifted to its personal guard. The Ancient Runes the viashino use to channel magic are the representation of the old draconic language of power. He also judges Shaka's spirit of self-sacrifice as naive, and encourages her to be more independent and detached.
Shaka trains under an old and harsh shaman to harness her Heartstoking and her emotions:
-using Heartstoking so project her feelings;
-Harnessing mana/fury into the Fang to shatter rock.
Shaka notices the Forge's routine is starting to feel off to her.
Shaka uses her new Heartstoker abilities to literally share her feelings for Shari. Shari thinks Shaka's in love with her, a feeling she doesn't reciprocate, but Shaka denies it.
Geshiya reveals Shaka she is being groomed to be a Lorekeeper: she'll carry writs of lore (containing both culture and trade secrets) to all viashino, spreading it so that it can't disappear even if the Burnspine viashino are all exterminated. To Geshiya, this is just a failsafe in a high-stakes game. Shaka is instructed to also keep it secret.

Third Part: The Future - The Ashes
Shaka struggles with the fate chosen for her. She isolate herself even from Shari, as there are too many things she can't or won't say to her.
She eventually accepts Geshiya's proposal, but not because she believes in him: she's reminded of Eliana's words, and the Forge is no longer a place where she can rest and heal. The realization makes her reflect upon her past and the culture she lives in in a more profound way.
Shaka confronts Geshiya, pointing out his contradictions and weaknesses, and how lonely he really is.
The sendoff rite shows Shari, in the mass of attending viashino, deal with the sudden revelation. During the rite a mythical phoenix rises from the Forge and approaches Shaka; she instinctively raises her left arm to offer it a perch, and from her stump grows an arm of solid fire, where the phoenix lands. Shaka feels approval/acceptance in the phoenix' eyes. Two flaming wings close around them both (they're Shaka's, and she'll learn to replicate them in later stories), and Shaka leaves the plane.

Looks like a fun ride. Do you have an approximate length you are shooting for with this project? You mentioned it will be your longest, but did you have a sense for segment length?

I have to ask, from a narrative standpoint, why did you choose to have a second Viashino named Sharaka? The nicknames help a lot, but I still imagine that will get confusing, so I'm just curious what the reason is.


I have a couple of thoughts on this, although not knowing what you're planning to do with the piece, they may or may not work. I can shoot you a PM some time, if you'd like.

"Fun". While not depressing as ADAF, it won't be as good-natured as Healing Path where strangers want the best for each other and they just need to understand how to put that in practice. Burning Home is more about old bonds coming undone, losing one's place in the world, and facing the fact the status quo you've been fighting to protect is tearing you apart because you've changed beyond your control. It's about coming of age, in a sense, but... well, maybe I should work on the positive aspects of coming of age. That could make the work less heavy and maybe suggest something for the current issue.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I think the Past part could easily reach 10k words. The Present and Future could be just as long, though it depends on how long can I work with the aspects of the story (Geshiya, Shari and training) without having lulls.
To be clear, I don't want this piece to be long, but I think it needs space to let the tangle of emotions and themes breathe properly.


I mean to have a first part (maybe the whole Past part) with the PoV named "Sharaka" and everyone calling her Shaka, then from the following section she's called Sharaka in the narration itself. Shari will always be called Shari, except for the hypothetical segment where the nickname dynamic is explained. Nothing is set in stone, though.

Initial reason to have two characters with the same name: it happens in real life, and in a big setting having myriad of characters with no two identical names irks me. Obviously planeswalkers have names that don't exist in many cultures they encounter in their travels (though another thing I'd like is someone stumbling in a plane where their name has a meaning in the local language, though the language issue in MtG isn't suited for that) so meeting someone with the same name is unlikely, but every culture has its common names. Basically, being called Sharaka in the Burnspine is like being called John in the US.

After that, I added a few twists. Sharaka means "Iron Heart", and their two most common deriving nicknames - wouldn't you know, Shaka and Shari - stress respectively the Iron and Heart parts of the name.
1 - As a young viashino, having "strong as Iron" as a nickname is awesome, so competitions over nicknames are common. That's how Shaka and Shari met.
2 - Shari is the Heart in the Mind/Heart duality with Geshiya.
3 - Iron, and thus Shaka, can be dented and reforged, like hearts can break and heal, or can become brittle and be shattered.


What part of the plan isn't clear? Anyway, feel free to PM me anytime.

(...maybe taking the Geshiya order "share it with all viashino you meet" and turning into "share it with the oppressed" would be a place to start in regards to agency, stepping beyond the focus on race she's been brought up with. However, that could be a good point to raise for a later story, so I dunno)

I just meant "fun" in terms of interesting.


I personally feel that there are areas where real life and narratives need to diverge. I'm not saying that your Sharakas need to change; they don't. But as a writer, I feel it is important to do your readers favors, and if you have three or four characters named "John," it gets difficult for readers to follow, regardless of the fact that in any given room in America there might well be three "Johns." For me, it's a lot like the "bathroom on the Enterprise" metaphor. In real life, people have to use the restroom. That doesn't mean we need a scene in every story where people are relieving themselves.


I mean on a more micro level, specifics, and whatever else. But never mind.

Yeah, I imagined that, I just used your comment as a springboard to go into what kind of piece this is in my mind at this time, which may not be the best of habits. I may have come off as confrontational and/or bitter, I apologize.


I get the importance of not burdening the reader or the story unnecessarily, and I understand that I tend to underestimate the confusion certain name conventions might have (as per Frosthearts' multiple names). Still, while not definitive, I'm rather fond of that idea, and the two viashino would never be called Sharaka at the same time except maybe in one anecdote for laughs. Also, tangentially, I dropped Shari's name at the beginning of Healing Path, and maybe editing works retroactively like that would cause problems. This means I could theoretically change "our" Sharaka's nickname in Raka or something like that, which would be easy to recognize as different from Shari at a glance, though I'm not completely sold on that.


I apologize again, I was tired when I wrote the first reply and I'm even more tired as I'm writing this, but I have the impression I've said something wrong? Did I sound harsh? Or did I read a tone in the post that wasn't there? Maybe you mean that you'd help me via PM in the future when there's more detailed material? Communication is... complicated.

As a rule of thumb, if it seems I'm discouraging help without saying it explicitly, I probably misspoke

You didn't come off as confrontational to me, anyway. I just wanted to be clear. I know what your characters mean to you, so I didn't want you to think that I was downplaying the psychological significance of Sharaka's story.


Again, I don't think it's anything that you need to change, and you've already thought about the nickname convention as a way to help differentiate between the two. The alarmist in me is just envisioning a scene like "Then Sharaka looked at Sharaka, and Sharaka said, 'Hey, remember Sharaka? I haven't seen her since she got into that fight with Sharaka.'" Not that you would do that, of course. Just an exaggeration, but there's more potential for confusion than usual when dealing with two identically named characters.

It was bad enough when we had stories with Denner and Daneera…




No need to apologize, and sorry if my tone came across as less than cordial. I've been experiencing a lingering sense of unwellness, not illness necessarily, but something just feels off. Similarly, sorry for not responding to this for a few days, but I was pushing to finish that story alongside things getting busy at work, and it slipped my mind.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is "Sorry, my bad."