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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 2:01 pm 
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so A Dying Wish got voted in it looks like, so I figure that means it's time to post my next story. again I'm gonna try to provide as little external context as possible and just let the story fill you in on the relevant details as needed.

Kiber's Reflection, by razorborne


word count: about 1350 (I made some edits while posting so I no longer have the exact figure.)

I kinda didn't want to do this one next because it follows the same vein of someone sitting around talking to people and discussing future actions without doing them, but it was the next one that I felt I could write well. I'm gonna take a crack at the Centaurs or Trolls next, see if I can't get some more current action in some of these. or maybe Dryads, if I tell it from Kimil's perspective... we'll see.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:21 pm 
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First off, let me say I like this. I agree that it is similar to your previous story, but in my opinion that just makes it a clearer counterpoint between the wolves and the fae. They are so different, yet so similar. Also, I will always approve of well written leprechauns. Especially evil plotting leprechauns.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:34 pm 
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razorborne wrote:
so A Dying Wish got voted in it looks like, so I figure that means it's time to post my next story. again I'm gonna try to provide as little external context as possible and just let the story fill you in on the relevant details as needed.

Congratulations, by the way! Welcome to the M:EM.

As far as "Kiber's Reflection," I like this piece a lot. I would say I actually like it better than "A Dying Wish," because I think it does an even better job establishing atmosphere. I also feel like I have a slighter clearer grasp of the various factions at play, and I think this is a great look at 's scheming from the inside.

I like Kiber, from what we've seen of him. I've always thought Magic could use more leprechauns in general, so I'm glad to see them make an appearance here, and I think they make a lot of sense alongside Fae. I'm suspecting that Kiber (for as cruel as he may be) is likely not quite as in control of the situation as he would like to think, but I will say that I'm more interested in seeing this storyline unfold than the wolf-society one, for whatever reason.

So yeah, over all, I really like this one! Thanks for posting!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:49 pm 
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As far as "Kiber's Reflection," I like this piece a lot. I would say I actually like it better than "A Dying Wish," because I think it does an even better job establishing atmosphere. I also feel like I have a slighter clearer grasp of the various factions at play, and I think this is a great look at 's scheming from the inside.
that's surprising, I was really convinced this one wasn't as good. but maybe that's just because Jestopher's arc (and especially his death) is really important to the Ossia storyline, and outside of that context it's different.

I like Kiber, from what we've seen of him. I've always thought Magic could use more leprechauns in general, so I'm glad to see them make an appearance here, and I think they make a lot of sense alongside Fae. I'm suspecting that Kiber (for as cruel as he may be) is likely not quite as in control of the situation as he would like to think, but I will say that I'm more interested in seeing this storyline unfold than the wolf-society one, for whatever reason.
Kiber's spirit animal is Havelock Vetinari. I tried to model him after the Patrician but in a situation where he had truly lost control, and was desperately trying to reclaim it. so yes, completely agree with your analysis although I won't spoil where the story is going.

as for Leprechauns, basically they were a necessity of typing. I made the list of types for Ossia before Lorwyn was released, and the Faeries were part green, so when I revisited the project I had to justify why some faeries didn't have flying. Magic has long used "Faerie" as a blanket term for the Faefolk in general, so I included a bunch of leprechauns and brownies on Epala to fit that need. (as an aside, the flavor text on Foulmouthed Kneecapper may be my proudest moment in all of Ossia.) I really like how it all turned out though, and I'm glad you do too.

:duel:

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:39 pm 
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I like this story, but I agree with razorborne thst it doesn't have the same impact as the Jestopher arc for me. Maybe it's just personal preference - I know I write way more on individual struggle and anti-war themes than I should.

It feels strange for me to say this, but I think this story could have done with more exposition to set the scene. I feel like Epala is a secretive and mystical place that you've barely touched on. I want to see a little less politics and a little more of the world of the fae.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:26 am 
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I like this story, but I agree with razorborne thst it doesn't have the same impact as the Jestopher arc for me. Maybe it's just personal preference - I know I write way more on individual struggle and anti-war themes than I should.
that, and also after me you're probably the person in the world who knows Ossia best, and thus understands what Jestopher's death entails in a way that most folks around here wouldn't.

It feels strange for me to say this, but I think this story could have done with more exposition to set the scene. I feel like Epala is a secretive and mystical place that you've barely touched on. I want to see a little less politics and a little more of the world of the fae.
I don't know, I've always thought of Epala as a hyperpolitical landscape. do you mean the actually physical Isle? I suppose the story never mentions the eternal shadow of the Greylands, and it doesn't really discuss the mechanics or nature of the Bounded Court all that much. I kinda think of that as more dossier material, though. that information's out there (link in my sig!) but this isn't so much Epala's story as it is Kiber's. I've spent a lot of time writing about my Isles, I'm more using this to explore my characters. not that you're wrong: I think a story set more generally on Epala, showing its overall workings and dark, mysterious culture, would be absolutely fascinating if done well. it's just not what I was trying to write here, and I'm not sure it's something I could do well in the sort of short format I'm most comfortable writing in.

:duel:

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2015 7:29 pm 
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I'm torn on the exposition question... on the one hand I feel like I'm missing some context here but I'm also not entirely sure that's a bad thing?

I like the little glimpses we're getting into the various factions. I felt more emotionally invested in Jestopher's story but the bits and pieces we get of the politicking at work on this isle are intriguing. While there are, like I said, some elements that feel a little decontextualized, I think what information we have so far makes the idea of trade routes seem very weighty, which is interesting to me.

Also, hey, congratulations on joining us here :D Sorry I didn't say so sooner, but it's really great to have you aboard!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 06, 2015 6:20 pm 
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was debating putting this up for vote but I think I'm gonna give it another week in case more feedback comes in. on the exposure stuff I'm pretty sure I want to lean more toward avoiding overexposure, because that sort of thing can lead pretty quickly to telling rather than showing if you're not super careful, and I think the parts of Epalan society that are relevant to the story are made decently clear.

:duel:

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:44 pm 
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I did finish my next one though, should I post it or hold on until this gets voted on?

:duel:

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:48 pm 
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POST IT

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Solphos: Solphos | Fool's Gold | Planeswalker's Guide | The Guiding Light | The Weight of a Soul
Game design: Pokémon Tales | Fleets of Ossia: War Machines | Hunter Killer | Red Jackie's Run


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2015 6:00 pm 
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POST IT

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