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PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 2:07 pm 
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So here's what I've been writting for a few weeks, to justify the concept of the Fates and the Caladrian Shield. Part two should be ready soon.

Part1/2

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Planeswalker's Guide
The Story

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 8:35 pm 
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I think this story takes a little too long to get going. You take 8 paragraphs to tell the story of the Mending, which I think is pretty unacceptable if you want to draw in readers. I'd also suggest that you be more daring with how you break up your paragraphs: in my experience, shorter sentences are both easier to digest and improve pacing.

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The format of YMtC and the Expanded Multiverse.
YMtC: My Deck of Many Things | NGA Masters | 2 | 3 | Roses of Paliano | Duel Decks: War of the Wheel | Jakkard: Wild Cards | From Maral's Vault | Taramir: The Dark Tide
Solphos: Solphos | Fool's Gold | Planeswalker's Guide | The Guiding Light | The Weight of a Soul
Game design: Pokémon Tales | Fleets of Ossia: War Machines | Hunter Killer | Red Jackie's Run


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 5:35 am 
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Figured so. I've moving into fewer-phrase paragraph formats from now on.

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Matahouroa
Planeswalker's Guide
The Story

My Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/Carliro
Image

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DKFQ7Q38/ a book based on Lusitanian Mythology


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