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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 2:33 am 
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Greetings to all of you, whatever you may be! Herein lies my newest tale, which I have been working on "feverishly" over the past couple of days ("feverishly" is a blatant lie here. I just liked how it sounded...). This story features a brand new plane...you know, like most of my stories do...sorry Keeper.

Anyway, please enjoy my latest work, and as always, please feel welcomed and encouraged to leave comments and feedback!

Have fun!

The Pale Priestess


Last edited by RavenoftheBlack on Sun Jul 12, 2015 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 9:20 am 
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I found the extended battle sequence a little offputting, but it was all redeemed by the epic conclusion. Nice job!

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YMtC: My Deck of Many Things | NGA Masters | 2 | 3 | Roses of Paliano | Duel Decks: War of the Wheel | Jakkard: Wild Cards | From Maral's Vault | Taramir: The Dark Tide
Solphos: Solphos | Fool's Gold | Planeswalker's Guide | The Guiding Light | The Weight of a Soul
Game design: Pokémon Tales | Fleets of Ossia: War Machines | Hunter Killer | Red Jackie's Run


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 1:58 pm 
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First off, nice naming. Though I've never seen the specific names used before, they do bring Hittite words to mind. Is that the main worldbuilding influence here?

I must admit, I saw that twist coming from a mile away, seeing as how the "Hero" and the Priestess were too conveniently similar to a certain pair of sibling planeswalkers. And I'm not particularly fond of betrayal stories. But damn, was it a fun read. Probably the best battle description I've read in a long time.

Plus, four-limbed Aven. Always fun.

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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 3:07 pm 
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I found the extended battle sequence a little offputting, but it was all redeemed by the epic conclusion. Nice job!

Thanks for reading! The battle did go on a bit longer than I had originally intended. But, I am glad you enjoyed the finish. I feel I do endings well! :D

First off, nice naming. Though I've never seen the specific names used before, they do bring Hittite words to mind. Is that the main worldbuilding influence here?

I regret the main character's name, only because "Kinechu" is not an easy name to repeatedly type...

Anyway, I like the Hittites from historical and cultural perspectives, although I confess it was not an intentional naming convention on my part. To be honest, I got sort of weird with how I came to some of the names in this piece...

I must admit, I saw that twist coming from a mile away, seeing as how the "Hero" and the Priestess were too conveniently similar to a certain pair of sibling planeswalkers. And I'm not particularly fond of betrayal stories. But damn, was it a fun read. Probably the best battle description I've read in a long time.

Yeah, I wasn't sure how obvious this would be. I tried to play up the Hero's (apparent) concern for innocents, hoping that might throw people off the track, but I knew there was a chance that people would figure it out. I'm glad you enjoyed the ride, though!

Plus, four-limbed Aven. Always fun.

Usually when I write Aven, they have arms as well, so that they can do things like hold weapons, or clap. :ookay:

Anyway, I felt this was a good opportunity to try something different. Glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you both for reading and commenting! I appreciate it!


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 3:31 pm 
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Quote:
Yeah, I wasn't sure how obvious this would be. I tried to play up the Hero's (apparent) concern for innocents, hoping that might throw people off the track, but I knew there was a chance that people would figure it out.


It might have been simply the fact that I was previously acquainted with your other works on those two. Still, knowing that in advance was a boon: it made all the concern look almost cartoonish, like "He" was filling out a checklist.

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Usually when I write Aven, they have arms as well, so that they can do things like hold weapons, or clap.


It's just something I feels more right. Plus, it really made the Aven look more feral than they're usually depicted in Magic, something I liked a lot.

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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 3:47 pm 
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Quote:
Usually when I write Aven, they have arms as well, so that they can do things like hold weapons, or clap.


It's just something I feels more right. Plus, it really made the Aven look more feral than they're usually depicted in Magic, something I liked a lot.

Yeah, I agree. I suspect giving them arms is more of a pragmatic issue. It's hard to conceive of an advanced society of beings wherein none of them have arms, meaning that these Aven likely ARE more feral. Also, you may have noticed that none of the Aven speak in piece. Now, I'm not saying that they CAN'T speak, but I think that lends itself to the feral interpretation, as well.


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PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 8:57 am 
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Well, this was yet another fine story -- thanks, as ever, for sharing, Raven!

More thoughts are down below, chilling out at the (spoiler) block party.

Spoiler

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PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 4:42 pm 
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Hey, Orcish! Thanks a ton for reading and commenting! I really appreciate it!

@Comments


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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 12:20 am 
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I enjoyed this! Some comments:

Spoiler


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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 12:39 am 
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Zatnik wrote:
I enjoyed this! Some comments:

Thanks! I love it when people read my stuff, and love it even more when people comment!

@Comments


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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 12:46 am 
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@Raven


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PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 3:39 pm 
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Spoiler

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PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 3:58 pm 
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Knight Otu wrote:
Spoiler

Hello, Knight Otu! (My autocorrect tried to change your name to "Knight Out," but I gave it what-for!) Thanks a ton for reading and commenting! I hope you enjoyed the story, and War of the Wheel, as well!

Spoiler


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 4:24 am 
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Yes, I've been slowly working my way through the M:EM stories. And I'm not too worried about the plane's name, it just struck me just how similar the names were, just a letter off, two switched, and a space. The planes themselves aren't particularly similar, beyond possibly one thing.

Spoiler

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 10:47 pm 
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Knight Otu wrote:
Yes, I've been slowly working my way through the M:EM stories.

That's awesome. I hope that you've been enjoying the M:EM, Knight!

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:16 pm 
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Knight Otu wrote:
Yes, I've been slowly working my way through the M:EM stories.

That's awesome. I hope that you've been enjoying the M:EM, Knight!

Ditto this!

Enjoy, and feel free to comment, even on the older stuff. We love that.

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