It was a dark and stormy night. All about town, lights and lampposts did not show a bit of luminosity, for if any light had shown, you could rightly call yours truly a scallywag for lying to you about how dark it was. And it was awfully dark.

But it was at a particularly dark point in this particular night at which a most grisly man was galumphing out into our shadowy mists. Looking at this man, you might say: "Obviously, this man is a monstrosity! Just look at him!" And any rational man (or woman!) in proximity to you would without a doubt concur. For this man—if you could call it a man, disgusting as it was—was horribly ugly. Nobody was doubting that.

But this man was also all that stood twixt this town and total doom. Which was just our luck.

At this point, you might ask your kindly narrator: "But narrator! How can you ask us to buy into such a notion, that such a monstrous horror could play our protagonist? At minimum, this story must go on to show him miraculously transforming into a kindly, soulful human, a man who's truly fit to play so lush a part." But I would say, "No." For our protagonist shall stay as unsightly a man as stands in front of us now, as until his final words of wisdom fly straight out his worn old lips.

Which brings us back to what this foul ghoul said as it was stumbling out into such cloudy mists: "****. I forgot to bring my lamp.

"Damn, if it isn't dark out tonight."

[[To go on soon…]]

Wrong forums

There's an e in there.

thank you. I am a fraud.