So after **** went down on Zendikar and Ugin yelled at the rowdy teens for ruining his zen garden he was like “grumble grumble where’s Sorin grumble” and Jace is like “Hey Liliana mentioned a Sorin once” and goes to innistrad.

Arriving on Innistrad Jace discovers **** ****. He visits Liliana and is like “Hey remember how you were **** awful you owe me” and Liliana is like “Hey I don’t give a **** zombie butler go get me some tea” and Jace is like “Tell me where Sorin is” and Liliana’s like “No, Sorin will kill you, and you will cry while he is killing you.” and Jace is like “Fine, I’ll just ask random townspeople where the ancient supervampire is.”

Somehow this works and he gets directions to Markov Manor except that the entire ground and half the castle is either gone or upside down. Jace is like “hm this seems bad” and goes in anyways because he’s a white boy in a horror movie. Surprise it’s bad. He freaks out because vampire corpses everywhere and also ghosts. He ends up finding a dead guy that wasn’t a vampire and steals the Dead Guy’s book. He starts reading and is like “Hey, Tamiyo doesn’t sound like a vaguely north-eastern european name. I bet she’s a planeswalker.“

As King of Bad Ideas, Jace decides to ask townspeople where to find Tamiyo. The townspeople don’t help because they’re quite busy wandering about in gibberish madness so Jace decides “Surely no harm will come of mentally infiltrating the mind of a person who clearly no longer has a coherent mind” and who could’ve guessed it ends badly. Jace accidentally summons several ghost Jaces in his brain and when they aren’t being useless they’re like “Hey remember those Very Clearly Not Natural Rocks that all point in one direction? Let’s see where they go.” and he finds zombies building a beach resort. Since its zombies he decides everything is Lilianas fault even though there are probably thirty necromancer within ten miles of any given point on the plane.

Jace goes back to Liliana’s mansion and yells at her and she’s like “What the **** why would I waste zombies on a beach resort when I have a perfectly good ancient decrepit manor. Go be crazy with the Angels.” and Jace decides that’s a good plan and goes to Thraben.

In the Cathedral, Jace ends up running into Tamiyo on accident. His attempts to form a scooby doo crew are halted by Tamiyo saying annoying things like “How did you get my diary,” “Where is my intern,” and “Stop talking Jesus Christ.” Tamiyo eventually decides she will help him say hi to Avacyn but no touching things.

Avacyn shows up and she is **** Pissed and Jace decides that surely using telepathy on an ancient insane angel while also plagued by ghost clones is a good idea. It is not. Tamiyo saves Jace from being a barbecue and Sorin busts through the wall Kool-Aid Man style and is like “Sweetie are you busy I need to talk.” and Avacyn is screaming about destroying the outsiders and Sorin is like “Kay I’ll be back in five have fun.” and Avacyn goes “Hold up you’re a vampire and those are Super Bad.” and she attacks Sorin but it’s like a puppy trying to attack a WWE Wrestler and Sorin is like “Avacyn pls” but she doesn’t stop so Sorin is like “Okay let’s try a factory reset” and Avacyn remembers who she is and then she realizes Sorin Isn’t A Good Dude so she attacks him again so Sorin flips the off switch and Avacyn dissolves dramatically and then Sorin is like “****. **** I **** up. ****. Goddamnit. ****.”


Also at some point in here Gisa and Nahiri went on a date.