It is nowhere as bad as Gideon, monkey of Zendikar.
The worst part of Gideon isn't even the face, and that is itself absolutely horrendous, but how incredibly static and lifeless the bizarre pose is.

Absolutely the worst art in the set.

Not sure why everyone hates Ob's art. It looks decent enough to me.
Gideon on the other hand...

Best Gideon art is still the one from Gatecrash.

And they even managed it without constantly shouting about how progressive and minority aware they are!
Seriously. You lose points for constantly pointing it out like some eager child thirsty for praise. It gets annoying .

SLAUGHTER AT THE REFUGE

Gruesome Slaughter

Gideon Jura returned to Zendikar alone, ready to face the Eldrazi. He arrived near Sea Gate on Tazeem and found the area nearly overrun. He fought his way through the Eldrazi until he reached a besieged refuge, then held the Eldrazi back while the survivors fled to the cliffs. Among them was Nissa Revane, a fellow Planeswalker whose connection to Zendikar's elemental soul had waned. Although their paths would take them in different directions, they agreed to meet outside Sea Gate to face the Eldrazi once more.

This story event was covered in the Uncharted Realms story of the same name.

NISSA'S QUEST

Nissa's Renewal

Led by visions, Nissa traveled into the depths of the devastated continent of Bala Ged to find the Khalni Heart, an outgrowth of the soul of Zendikar. Through it, she rekindled her connection to the plane—but she also ran afoul of the demon Ob Nixilis, a former Planeswalker who hoped to use the power of the Khalni Heart to reignite his spark. Flush with the elemental power of Zendikar, Nissa bested Ob Nixilis, removed the Khalni Heart to safety, and escaped.

This story event was covered in the Uncharted Realms stories Nissa's Quest and Nissa's Resolve.

REVELATION AT THE EYE

Ugin's Insight

Although the mind mage Jace Beleren had resisted Gideon's efforts to recruit him, he soon journeyed to Zendikar. He found Ugin himself rebuilding the damaged Eye of Ugin, the underground chamber that's magic had once imprisoned the Eldrazi on the plane. Ugin revealed to Jace how the network of stone "hedrons" might be used to again immobilize the Eldrazi titans, but Jace realized that the same trick might instead serve as a first step in killing them. Ignoring Ugin's dire warnings, Jace left the Eye and made his way to Sea Gate to pass this information on to Gideon.

This story event will be covered in an upcoming Uncharted Realms story.

THE LIBERATION OF SEA GATE

Outnumber

Gideon set out with the small band of survivors from the destroyed refuge. Battle-hardened veterans and desperate new recruits flocked to his banner. Kiora, a Planeswalker native to Zendikar, brought her own army of merfolk and colossal sea monsters to fight alongside Gideon. They began an attack on the Eldrazi-controlled Sea Gate, joined soon thereafter by Nissa and Jace. The Eldrazi were driven from the city, and Sea Gate's defensive ramparts were rebuilt and fortified. The soldiers of Zendikar celebrated a hard-won victory.

This story event will be covered in an upcoming Uncharted Realms story.

HEDRON ALIGNMENT

Aligned Hedron Network

A horde of Eldrazi soon retaliated, including the titan Ulamog himself, and the four Planeswalkers enacted a bold new plan. While Gideon's troops and Kiora's forces held the city against this fresh assault, Nissa called on the elemental power of the earth to raise sunken hedrons from the ground and move them into a ring around the Eldrazi titan. Jace activated the hedrons' magic, and Ulamog was trapped!

Then everything collapsed. Ob Nixilis appeared, having followed Nissa from Bala Ged. He knocked the hedrons out of alignment to siphon their power for himself. As power flowed into him, Ob Nixilis's Planeswalker spark reignited.

Gideon still believed victory was attainable. Ulamog was still within the hedron ring, still in reach of his army and Kiora's mighty followers. Gideon urged his soldiers forward, leaping to attack the titan himself. For a moment, Ulamog was battered, off balance, and apparently on the edge of defeat.

This story event will be covered in several upcoming Uncharted Realms stories.

The story will continue in Oath of the Gatewatch, the second and final set in the Battle for Zendikar block.

borosdrunkard asked:
Why don't the Eldrazi cards use white mana even though the other four colours are all present at least once?

markrosewater said:
It was more a matter of White running out of room. There was White Devoid cards in design.

Blight Herder honestly looks like something out of Dr. Seuss.

"They came with their Once-lers, they came with their Sneetches,
They came with Blight Herders and blood-sucking Leeches,
They came with the weezers and woozers and wazis,
They came with some moron to fight the Eldrazis,
They came from the whens and the hows and the places,
They came with Kiora, and too many Jaces.
They came to converse and then to reminisce-a,
But mostly, they hoped that they could shut up Nissa."

"You must do more than try," said Ugin. "With the hedron network damaged and the fail-safe removed, the titans are free to leave the plane. If Ulamog is wounded, you could drive him away from Zendikar entirely. Away from the hedron network, and our best chance of stopping him. You understand why that would be a disaster. But it may not seem that way to the people of Zendikar. You must dissuade your friends from attacking Ulamog directly—and, if necessary, you must stop them."
-Revelation at the Eye

Then everything collapsed. Ob Nixilis appeared, having followed Nissa from Bala Ged. He knocked the hedrons out of alignment to siphon their power for himself. As power flowed into him, Ob Nixilis's Planeswalker spark reignited.

But Gideon still believed victory was attainable. Ulamog was still within the hedron ring, still in reach of his army and Kiora's mighty followers. Gideon urged his soldiers ahead and leapt forward to attack the titan. Ulamog was battered, off balance, and apparently on the edge of defeat.
-Battle for Zendikar Player's Guide

Please tell me you write for a living. Also make a macabre children's book and have me illustrate it.