A while ago, in the old Poetry Plane, Keeper requested a Jakkard-inspired folk song, and so I wrote this:
Down to the Valley
Down to the Valley
One day in the old world, the sky opened up, And the sweetest of all wines poured into my cup. I knew that my life would be lonesome and hard, But I felt the call of the wild Jakkard.
So I left that city that I'd known so long, It felt much too right to have ever been wrong, I knew it would never again be the same, As I sought my fortune to better my name.
Down to the Valley, where wild things roam, Down to the Valley, where I'll make my home, Down to the Valley, the place of the dead, Down to the Valley, where I'll lay my head.
The way, it was hard, and the path, it was long, But my arms and my back and my heart all were strong, There were nights when I wondered how I would survive, But still when I got here, I was safe and alive.
I built me a home from what I saw around, I fought for a life with the death in that ground, I worked without rest till my fingers were weak, And I'll keep on goin' to find what I seek.
Down to the Valley, where wild things roam, Down to the Valley, where I make my home, Down to the Valley, the place of the dead, Down to the Valley, where I'll lay my head.
Now I've been here so long I've forgotten my past, My days seem so short and my night's comin' fast, The streams of my mem'ries, they turn and they wind, As I try to remember those I left behind.
I left them so quickly, now I curse my haste, Only to come to this forsaken waste, I've seen things that make sure my nightmares won't cease, But next time my eyes close, I'll drift off to peace.
Down to the Valley, where wild things roam, Down to the Valley, where I made my home, Down to the Valley, the place of the dead, Down to the Valley, where I lay my head.
Well, because I don't really think things through, I decided to record this. Now, keep in mind, I am a very poor singer, and I am completely unable to play any musical instrument. Still, I recorded it, and put it out on Youtube, for everyone to enjoy or, more likely, ridicule. Anyway, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1MXmCNMeEY
Uh, thanks? Honestly, I don't know if that's a compliment, a criticism or an observation. I'll assume all three, at various times.
In all seriousness, though, that's the main reason I haven't been able to post the songs from Magic: The Musical. I've actually recorded every song from that thing, but my voice makes it impossible to mimic a female voice. I tried, and I'm borderline offended by the results. So I'm not likely to post those until I can find a woman willing to actually record Chandra and Lili. (Well, my lack of singing talent also plays a part there...)
On that note, I will say that while this isn't "good" by any means, for me, this was excellent. I was actually really happy with the way this turned out. I may post some recordings of my poetry in a similar style, though it's sort of hard to make these, due to technological restrictions on my part. Also, I doubt many people would be interested...
I would be interested in hearing you read your poetry, actually. Some people prefer to hear rather than read poetry, I feel, so it might be good to get some readings into the archives.
The pitch sort of slides around in a lot of places, but I think the cadence and the tone of your performance work well for the subject matter.
Okay, first of all: I loved that. I truly did. It was so right. Like a Firefly song or something. It's exactly what I picture Cowboy!Aragorn might sing.
Your voice was good. It fits the song, which is the only thing that matters to me (I can't hear someone sing out of tune, so I can't comment on anything else.)
Now if only someone could put some guitar under there...
(Curse my lack of musical talent.)
_________________
"I'm all for screwing with the natural order. The natural order objectively is awful. The natural order includes death, disease, pain, and starvation." --Sam Keeper
Just for the record, here's how I picture the context of this song.
Night has fallen early. The light of the moon is supplemented by the light of a magically created fire. Around that fire, several humanoids (Viashino, Rattler, Noggle¹, Human...) are sitting. In the distant, some noises can be heard. Some shadowmonster lurking far away, the makeshift fence that keeps the Aurochs in place creaking in the wind, a wolf howling in the distant. The fire's noise crackles, but unnaturally soft.
Casual hoof-steps come towards the fire. The young centaur keeping watch makes sure everyone knows the coast is clear and that ¡Oso Del Diablo! isn't around. Sighs of relief all around.
"So," the Noggle starts in a high pitched voice, "What was your story again?"
The human pokes a stick in the fire and watches as the stick curls up under the heat. The sounds seem to disappear. The aurochs turn quiet, the crackle of the fire stops.
The human opens his mouth:
One day in the old world, the sky opened up, And the sweetest of all wines poured into my cup. I knew that my life would be lonesome and hard, But I felt the call of the wild Jakkard.
...
Spoiler
Now someone create a fast-paced saloon song
¹I couldn't remember whether Noggles were in or not.
_________________
"I'm all for screwing with the natural order. The natural order objectively is awful. The natural order includes death, disease, pain, and starvation." --Sam Keeper
Joined: Sep 22, 2013 Posts: 5700 Location: Inside my own head
Identity: Human
Yxoque wrote:
Okay, first of all: I loved that. I truly did. It was so right. Like a Firefly song or something. It's exactly what I picture Cowboy!Aragorn might sing.
Your voice was good. It fits the song, which is the only thing that matters to me (I can't hear someone sing out of tune, so I can't comment on anything else.)
Now if only someone could put some guitar under there...
(Curse my lack of musical talent.)
I agree with every single point here.
That recording, honestly, had me on the verge of tears.
[spoiler]Now someone create a fast-paced saloon song[/spoiler]
Ask, and ye shall receive:
Centaur Wine and Noggle Ale
Centaur Wine and Noggle Ale
Tip your glasses, everyone sings, About this world's most beautiful things, It not's the sun or the smothered stars, But the bottles stacked behind the bars!
So fill 'em up, and drink 'em down, And pass the strongest stuff around! Sing your song and tell your tale, Over Centaur Wine and Noggle Ale!
The sky's on fire throughout the day, Our body's burn and wither away, But come the night, we're livin' again, So raise your glasses, women and men!
Yes, fill 'em up, and drink 'em down, And pass the strongest stuff around! And in no time, you're feelin' fine, From Noggle Ale and Centaur Wine!
The vast Jakkard's our livin' tomb, But tonight we're safe in a tavern room! We'll never know what tomorrow brings, So fill your cup with happier things!
Yes, fill 'em up, and drink 'em down, And pass the strongest stuff around! This shipment came on the morning rail, Of Centaur Wine and Noggle Ale!
Each day we're diggin' deeper still, With a blunt pickaxe and broken drill, And if there's not enough ore to ship, Then the foreman tells us, with his whip!
So fill 'em up, and drink 'em down, And pass the strongest stuff around! Come fill your glasses, form a line, For Noggle Ale and Centaur Wine!
Each day is deadlier than the last, We've got no future, we've got no past. But here tonight, we won't be scarred, So drink a toast, here's to Jakkard!
Yes, fill 'em up, and drink 'em down, And pass the strongest stuff around! Tomorrow we'll wake in a grave or jail, From Centaur Wine and Noggle Ale!
Tomorrow we'll wake in a grave or jail, From Centaur Wine and Noggle Ale!
Last edited by RavenoftheBlack on Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Raven, I think I'm in love... (Keeper: Update the shipping wall)
Here's how that song plays out in my head:
The saloon is busy even this late at night. People are getting drunk and a poker dispute is getting louder. No-one is quite sure if the guy in the corner quietly sipping his whiskey is a demon or just some stranger. Outright violence can happen any moment.
In a last ditch effort, the bartender (in cahoots with the sheriff) offers a free keg for everyone, and the pianists sets in the familiar tones of "Centaur Wine and Noggle Ale".
In no time, people are singing along and fraternizing. Any pianist worth his salt isn't just good on the keyboard, but also knows a little bit of passion-altering magic.
Also, each time the part of "Centaur wine and Noggle Ale" (or the reverse is reached), it's sung like this:
"Centaur wine and..." a pause that gets longer the further along in the song. All Noggles (and some drunk humans) raise their glasses. Then the singer starts: "No-" and the entire shouts along: "Noggle Ale."
_________________
"I'm all for screwing with the natural order. The natural order objectively is awful. The natural order includes death, disease, pain, and starvation." --Sam Keeper
I'm glad people like it! I had to make a minor edit. The Line "And if we don't have enough ore to ship" never read correctly for me, so I changed it to "And if there's not enough ore to ship."
Also, Yxoque, I like your scenario. The one I had in mind was similar, sort of like the Oom-pa-pa scene in Oliver!, if anyone saw that. It is sort of like one person in a crowded bar starts to sign, and gradually the entire room catches on to it.
Joined: Sep 22, 2013 Posts: 5700 Location: Inside my own head
Identity: Human
Oh my gog I think I may like that saloon song more than all the saloon songs in all the westerns I've ever seen.
Even on the first reading I imagined each verse being sung by a different drunk or nearly-drunk group; except on the chorus when everyone in the bar was eager to join in.
Also I couldn't help but say that this:
RavenoftheBlack wrote:
Also, Yxoque, I like your scenario. The one I had in mind was similar, sort of like the Oom-pa-pa scene in Oliver!, if anyone saw that. It is sort of like one person in a crowded bar starts to sign, and gradually the entire room catches on to it.
made me imagine an entire bar breaking out into sign language. Just all of the sudden it gets really quiet, except to a deaf person.
EDIT: I forgot to address Ruwin's request. I would probably eat up a song / ghost story about Ol' Smokey.
Joined: Sep 22, 2013 Posts: 5700 Location: Inside my own head
Identity: Human
RavenoftheBlack wrote:
Damn typos. Oh, well.
Tell me more about this Ol' Smokey. Are we talking about the Mountain, or is there some Jakkard legend I missed?
It's part of Fisco Vane Goes to Jakkard, also known as Two Bullets and a Pocketful of Hate. I'll put it in the archives as soon as I hear back from Ruwin. You'll have to read the story to really get it, though, and it's a long one. But it is just soooooooo good.
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