Greetings from me, Yxoque, M:EMperor of the Expanded Multiverse.
The previous contest was fun and interesting (at least to me), so I'm going to host another one.
Last week, the choice of card-type was a little bit limited. When designing a city, lands are the obvious choice. So this weeks, you should have a lot more freedom.
One of the planes we are working on in the Expanded Multiverse (no link, sorry, it's not in the archives and we need a new Work In Progress-thread for this) is a prison plane. This prison was created on a relatively peaceful plane by a Planeswalker named Agmund. Agmund is mostly lawful neutral/lawful evil. He travels from plane to plane, looking for criminals to put in his prison. He also looks for guards that could work in his prison.
Some things you might need to know for this contest:
Prisoners are mostly in solitary confinement, only coming out of their cell about an hour per day.
The prison is based on a panopticon model, so that as little guards as possible can keep an eye on a lot of prisoners.
Some "special needs" prisoners have modified cells to keep them alive or prevent them from leaving.
If you have additional questions, feel free to ask them.
Your challenge:
Create 2 cards, one about the prisoners and one about the guards. You can choose which aspect to show, as long as one cards is clearly about prisoners and one is clearly about guards. You can show prisoners, guards, spells they might use, containment methods, escape attempts, coping strategies...
As an additional note, I'm a criminologist by training and have visited a couple of prisons already. I'll try to not make this cloud my judgment too much, because most people aren't aware of how prison life really works.
"I'm all for screwing with the natural order. The natural order objectively is awful. The natural order includes death, disease, pain, and starvation." --Sam Keeper
Prisoner: Bound Cyclops Creature - Cyclops Whenever ~ attacks, the defending player may pay . If that player does, remove ~ from combat ( this does not untap it.) Some inmates await only the smallest opening before they strike. 4/4
Guard: Eternal Prisoner Enchantment Creature - Spirit Bestow Defender Enchanted creature gets +0/+3 and has defender. After a lifetime of imprisonment, all it knows is this cell. And its lonely. 0/3
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Let us flee said the fly. Let us fly said the flea.
Team Guard: Suppression Simulacrum Artifact Creature - Construct Sweep — Return any number of lands you control to their owner's hand. When Suppression Simulacrum enters the battlefield, return up to a number of target creature to their owners' hand equal to the number of lands returned this way. Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, detain target creature an opponent controls. "Clean up! Cell Block Five!" - Central Command 2/2
Team Prisoner: Black-Cell Forgemaster Creature - Human Rogue Whenever a creature you control becomes blocked, Black-Cell Forgemaster deals 1 damage to the blocking creature. The quickest thing you learn in prison is that everything is a weapon. 3/2
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magicpablo666 wrote:
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in an thread with GM_Champion" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against AzureShade when card design is on the line!"
Last edited by AzureShade on Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:41 pm, edited 4 times in total.
I would be very interested in what you think of our current models of punishment as a criminologist.
Privatization of Punishment Instant Each player chooses a creature and exiles it. Somewhere along the line 'criminal' became synonymous with 'gold'.
Veteran Guard Creature - Human Soldier Whenever a creature is put into a graveyard, exile it. : Add X mana in any combination of black or white where X is the number of creatures in exile. It doesn't matter how they got here, just as long as they did. 2/2
Perfect originality is overrated and often ugly. The best and most beautiful cards I've ever seen were clearly inspired by something else. Cards are not entirely unlike living organisms in this regard. All the good ones are a result of long evolution; the 'original' ones are either mono-cellular or mutant aberrations.
Cato
A true warrior seeks out the greatest foe. Their heart cries out for glorious battle, heedless even to its own end.
I would be very interested in what you think of our current models of punishment as a criminologist.
I think that would be outside the scope of this thread. Also not unimportant, I don't live in the US.
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"I'm all for screwing with the natural order. The natural order objectively is awful. The natural order includes death, disease, pain, and starvation." --Sam Keeper
Perfect originality is overrated and often ugly. The best and most beautiful cards I've ever seen were clearly inspired by something else. Cards are not entirely unlike living organisms in this regard. All the good ones are a result of long evolution; the 'original' ones are either mono-cellular or mutant aberrations.
Cato
A true warrior seeks out the greatest foe. Their heart cries out for glorious battle, heedless even to its own end.
Ogre Rioters | Creature – Giant {U} Haste Breakout – Whenever you attack with each creature you control, creatures you control gain +1/+1 and trample until end of turn. Ogres are not difficult to control on their own, but putting them in groups is just asking for trouble. 4/3
Guard:
Iron Restraints | Artifact – Equipment {U} A creature shackled by Iron Restraints doesn’t untap during its controller’s untap step, and its activated abilities can’t be activated. Shackle – (: Attach to target creature you don’t control. Shackle only as a sorcery.) “Another fifty years of good behaviour and we might let you walk around without those.”
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Quote:
"If you refuse to use rock, you will never beat scissors." — Galef, Dakka Dakka Forums
Last edited by Yarium on Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Serial Killer Creature - Human Assassin : Destroy target creature, then flip a coin. If you win the flip, untap Serial Killer. Otherwise, transform it. Activate this ability only once each turn. "Lovely night for a walk?" 3/1 // Imprisoned Murderer [b] Creature - Human Imprisoned Murderer can't attack or block Whenever another creature dies, you may tap Imprisoned Murderer. If you do, draw a card "Trust me... I know all about the mind of a killer." 0/1
Guard:
Stoic Watcher Creature - Human Soldier Vigilance As long as Stoic Watcher is untapped, activated abilities other than mana abilities cost more to activate : Counter target activated ability 1/4
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"Enjoy your screams, Sarpadia - they will soon be muffled beneath snow and ice."
I'm a (self) published author now! You can find my books on Amazon in Paperback or ebook! The Accursed, a standalone young adult fantasy adventure. Witch Hunters, book one of a young adult Scifi-fantasy trilogy.
Serial Killer Creature - Human Assassin : Destroy target creature, then flip a coin. If you win the flip, untap Serial Killer. Otherwise, transform it. Activate this ability only once each turn. "Lovely night for a walk?" 3/1 // Imprisoned Murderer [b] Creature - Human Imprisoned Murderer can't attack or block Whenever another creature dies, you may tap Imprisoned Murderer. If you do, draw a card "Trust me... I know all about the mind of a killer." 0/1
Guard:
Stoic Watcher Creature - Human Soldier Vigilance As long as Stoic Watcher is untapped, activated abilities other than mana abilities cost more to activate : Counter target activated ability 1/4
Curiously enough... Your serial killer has a chance to only successfully kill one victim.
@Dudibus: Apologies for again disrupting the thread, but is that really a concern for Canadians. It seems like a really common joke and I am curious.
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Let us flee said the fly. Let us fly said the flea.
A concern, not really. Sometimes I just feel a little silly making a distinction since we are very close culturally (as much as many Canadians would like to deny it).
Perfect originality is overrated and often ugly. The best and most beautiful cards I've ever seen were clearly inspired by something else. Cards are not entirely unlike living organisms in this regard. All the good ones are a result of long evolution; the 'original' ones are either mono-cellular or mutant aberrations.
Cato
A true warrior seeks out the greatest foe. Their heart cries out for glorious battle, heedless even to its own end.
(at risk of this getting off topic - I strongly suggest Dudibus that you make a haphazard forray into Off Topic to post a new thread about this there)
As a Canadian as well, I admit that Canada and the US are so close socially, economically, and culturally that there's often very little reason to distinguish between the two except when discussing politics. I think of the USA as being as close to me as people in other provinces or cities of Canada. I think we got just about the best relations of any two countries in the world, and I'd fight to keep that unity alive and well.
I'm guessing the joke is that Canadians assume that Americans will come up and take our land? Or is it the joke that Canadians' cultural identity is "we're not Americans!". But no, it's not generally a big deal in Canada. I feel like we're getting a stronger self-image than we had in the past, even though most Canadians are aware that national self-image and patriotism is a fading concept due to globalization. If I could describe our feelings on the matter, it'd be "This is Canada, where I live. It's a pretty great place full of great people and great things. But there's lots of other people out there and, generally speaking, we like them too so long as they respect us."
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Quote:
"If you refuse to use rock, you will never beat scissors." — Galef, Dakka Dakka Forums
Prisoners: Astral Imprisonment Instant If x isn't 0, exile target creature with x time counters on it. It gains suspend.
Guards: Guarded Cell Enchantment - Aura Enchant creature When ~ enters the battlefield and whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, detain enchanted creature.
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Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Guards: Haze Deulist Creature - Human soldier Provoke, first strike Whenever Haze Deulist deals combat damage to a creature, prevent all damage that creatures that share a color with that creature would deal this turn. 2/2
Prisoners: Shank Instant Split Second As an additonal cost to play Shank, exile a permanent card from your graveyard. Destroy target unblocked creature. Incarceration makes strange dead fellows.
Guards Panopticon Prison Artifact - Fortification Creatures you control can block an additional creature. Fortified land has ": tap 2 creatures you control, detain target creature. Fortify
Prisoners Shiv Maker Creature - Human Rouge : target creature you control gains deathtouch until end of turn. Skilled hands can make even the most mundane items into deadly weapons. 1/2
Last edited by Phoenix Toph on Thu Oct 24, 2013 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I just noticed that I didn't set a time-limit. The limit is 48 hours after the start day, so that's around a day starting from this post. I must say that I love the diversity in design.
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"I'm all for screwing with the natural order. The natural order objectively is awful. The natural order includes death, disease, pain, and starvation." --Sam Keeper
Grinning Sadist - Creature - Human , : Destroy target creature you do not control and each creature with a torment counter on them. Activate this ability only at anytime you could cast a sorcery. At the beginning of your upkeep, return to the battlefield all creatures in all graveyard destroyed by ~ since the end of your last turn to the battlefield with a torment counter on it and detain it. "It isn't over until they scream louder than the previous one." 1/3
Guard:
Cautious Watcher - Creature- Human Soldier Vigilance , : Detain target creature with power equal or greater than ~'s toughness. 2/3
Prisoner: Bound Cyclops Creature - Cyclops Whenever ~ attacks, the defending player may pay . If that player does, remove ~ from combat ( this does not untap it.) Some inmates await only the smallest opening before they strike. 4/4
Guard: Eternal Prisoner Enchantment Creature - Spirit Bestow Defender Enchanted creature gets +0/+3 and has defender. After a lifetime of imprisonment, all it knows is this cell. And its lonely. 0/3
Your prisoner-card is a cool concept. A creature that can be kept under control with force. This looks like a good way of showing prisoners being kept under magical control. is a good way of showing the alignment of colors in your story, which is something I always appreciate.
The guard-card strikes me as odd. I don't really understand the story it is trying to tell. The flavor text helps, but isn't enough to carry the rest of the card. I'm guesssin the idea is that this is the spirit of a former prisoner who possesses others. But I don't think it's a good fit on the guard-side.
AzureShade
AzureShade wrote:
Team Guard: Suppression Simulacrum Artifact Creature - Construct Sweep — Return any number of lands you control to their owner's hand. When Suppression Simulacrum enters the battlefield, return up to a number of target creature to their owners' hand equal to the number of lands returned this way. Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, detain target creature an opponent controls. "Clean up! Cell Block Five!" - Central Command 2/2
Team Prisoner: Black-Cell Forgemaster Creature - Human Rogue Whenever a creature you control becomes blocked, Black-Cell Forgemaster deals 1 damage to the blocking creature. The quickest thing you learn in prison is that everything is a weapon. 3/2
Mechanically, I think Suppression Simulacrum is very interesting, but I really don't get the flavor. Black-Cell Forgemaster, on the other hand, is a simple way of showing prison shivs, although the flavor text does most of the heavy lifting. This would be a great common showing simple aspects of prison life.
Dudibus
Dudibus wrote:
Privatization of Punishment Instant Each player chooses a creature and exiles it. Somewhere along the line 'criminal' became synonymous with 'gold'.
Veteran Guard Creature - Human Soldier Whenever a creature is put into a graveyard, exile it. : Add X mana in any combination of black or white where X is the number of creatures in exile. It doesn't matter how they got here, just as long as they did. 2/2
The first card doesn't do justice to the prison I described, in my opinion. As a criticism on a prison system, it kinda works thanks to the flavor text, but as a spell used on a prison-plane it falls flat. I also don't really see how the ability and the flavor interact, but this could be a failing on my part. Veteran Guard's mana ability isn't a bad way of showing increases in experience, but the rest of the card doesn't work all that well. Exiling creatures who die doesn't really work as a way of showing guarding. Mana abilities aren't generally put on Black or White creatures and there are other ways to show increases in experience that work better with these colors.
Yarium
Yarium wrote:
Prisoner:
Ogre Rioters | Creature – Giant {U} Haste Breakout – Whenever you attack with each creature you control, creatures you control gain +1/+1 and trample until end of turn. Ogres are not difficult to control on their own, but putting them in groups is just asking for trouble. 4/3
Guard:
Iron Restraints | Artifact – Equipment {U} A creature shackled by Iron Restraints doesn’t untap during its controller’s untap step, and its activated abilities can’t be activated. Shackle – (: Attach to target creature you don’t control. Shackle only as a sorcery.) “Another fifty years of good behaviour and we might let you walk around without those.”
I don't see why Ogre Rioters can't be a single Ogre. The plural is mostly unnecessary. Anyway, this card mostly stands or falls with it's ability word. I think Breakout is a cool way of showing riots and the ability word could go in pretty much every color. SO that's cool. For it to show up on a lot of cards (which this ability wants to do) would hinder the worldbuilding a bit, because it would make riots feel a lot more frequent than they actually happen.
Iron Restraints similarly hinges on the interestingness of the new ability. Equip for enemy creatures is something a lot of people would like to work with and this is the simplest way to make it work. The ability on the artifact is a bit bland but stills fits perfectly within the setting. I actually really like it.
Tevish Szat
Tevish Szat wrote:
Prisoner:
Serial Killer Creature - Human Assassin : Destroy target creature, then flip a coin. If you win the flip, untap Serial Killer. Otherwise, transform it. Activate this ability only once each turn. "Lovely night for a walk?" 3/1 // Imprisoned Murderer (b)Creature - Human Imprisoned Murderer can't attack or block Whenever another creature dies, you may tap Imprisoned Murderer. If you do, draw a card "Trust me... I know all about the mind of a killer." 0/1
Guard:
Stoic Watcher Creature - Human Soldier Vigilance As long as Stoic Watcher is untapped, activated abilities other than mana abilities cost more to activate : Counter target activated ability 1/4
The prisoner card tells a good story. It is a little bit funny that the Serial Killer can only kill one person, whereas actual serial killers generally need a couple more victims. But that's a small price to pay for this card. This actually sets up a lot more cards that do something similar: showing the criminals and then showing them as prisoners. It would be cool to see a lot more of that. (Maybe I'll make a thread about it.) Your guard is also interesting. A prison in Magic: The Gathering would obviously have guards that would hinder the magical abilities of the prisoners. This is a good and powerful way of showing that part of the setting. The card is relatively powerful, but would make for a good rare.
Cato
Cato wrote:
Prisoners: Astral Imprisonment Instant If x isn't 0, exile target creature with x time counters on it. It gains suspend.
Guards: Guarded Cell Enchantment - Aura Enchant creature When ~ enters the battlefield and whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, detain enchanted creature.
Your first could would probably need flavor text to really work, but I can see the logic behind it. While normal prisoners would just get a cell, more powerful ones would be magically subdued. I can see Suspend working in this regard. The wording "if X isn't 0," is an odd variant on "X can't be 0," but I see no reason why it shouldn't work. As for your second card, this is how I'm interpreting it: the card represents guards checking up on a cell, so the prisoner needs to stop with his shenanigans for a while. Like above, this card probably needs flavor text to really work on an intuitive level. I also don't think suspending other player's creatures and Detain would really work within the same world.
YingLung
YingLung wrote:
Guards: Haze Deulist Creature - Human soldier Provoke, first strike Whenever Haze Deulist deals combat damage to a creature, prevent all damage that creatures that share a color with that creature would deal this turn. 2/2
Prisoners: Shank Instant Split Second As an additonal cost to play Shank, exile a permanent card from your graveyard. Destroy target unblocked creature. Incarceration makes strange dead fellows.
I understand what you're shooting for with the Duelist, but I don't think it quite works. I guess this could work with proper art, but even then it would need a name-change. The abilities on the card do work as a way of showing how prison guards try to take every advantage they can get. Provoke is the sore thumb, since no guard with respect for his own safety or that of his colleagues would deliberately provoke someone. But the card needs it to work, so I'm willing to overlook it. The second card is a very mechanical card and I think there are better ways to present shankings. If we were making a set, though, this card could very well get in.
Phoenix Toph
Phoenix Toph wrote:
Guards Panopticon Prison Artifact - Fortification Creatures you control can block an additional creature. Fortified land has ": tap 2 creatures you control, detain target creature. Fortify
Prisoners Shiv Maker Creature - Human Rouge : target creature you control gains deathtouch until end of turn. Skilled hands can make even the most mundane items into deadly weapons. 1/2
Panoptican Prison is an ambitious name. Conveying most of the concept of a panopticon on a single card is going to be hard. You took a stab at it and I think you did a good job. It's not perfect, but since it's about as hard as designing a card called "Representative Democracy" that covers all the proper nuances, so I'm still glad to see what you did. The first part on the card is an abstraction of being able to see more, I take it. That's probably the most important thing this card would need so good to see it. The activated ability looks like guards holding down a prisoner. Not exactly needed for a panopticon, but it doesn't hinder the card and still fits within the setting.
And another shiv. Shivs seem to really capture the imagination, but then again prison creativity is interesting to think about. The card is a little basic and maybe even a little underpowered. The flavor text is what makes it work, together with the name.
Confused
Confused wrote:
Prisoner:
Grinning Sadist - Creature - Human , : Destroy target creature you do not control and each creature with a torment counter on them. Activate this ability only at anytime you could cast a sorcery. At the beginning of your upkeep, return to the battlefield all creatures in all graveyard destroyed by ~ since the end of your last turn to the battlefield with a torment counter on it and detain it. "It isn't over until they scream louder than the previous one." 1/3
Guard:
Cautious Watcher - Creature- Human Soldier Vigilance , : Detain target creature with power equal or greater than ~'s toughness. 2/3
Your prisoner seems to be more of an active criminal. Or a sadistic guard. This really doesn't feel like a prisoner.
Your guard feels right, though. It's one of the simplest designs, but that doesn't make it bad. I really like it.
And the winner is:
Tevish Szat, for making a prisoner with a story behind him and for really thinking about the implications of a magical prison.
Honorable mentions: Phoenix Toph, for making an actual panopticon. Confused, for making a guard that could serve as the main forces of the prison.
See you all for a new contest, next Wednesday.
_________________
"I'm all for screwing with the natural order. The natural order objectively is awful. The natural order includes death, disease, pain, and starvation." --Sam Keeper
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. If that player does, remove ~ from combat ( this does not untap it.)
: Add X mana in any combination of black or white where X is the number of creatures in exile.
