Idol Destruction
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact or legendary permanent
Beware false gods

Eradicate Fantasy
Sorcery
Destroy target enchantment or nonbasic land
Sublime Destruction

Obfuscate
Instant
Destroy target historic permanent

Bring down the hammer
Sorcery
You may put an equipment from your hand onto the battlefield. If you do ~ deals 3 damage to any target

Scarbound Ravager
Creature - Zombie (R)
Scarbound Ravager enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Sacrifice a creature: Put a +1/+1 counter on Scarbound Ravager.
When Scarbound Ravager dies, put its counters on target creature you control.
0/0

I still do not truly believe this card somehow doesn't already exist.

I just came up with this design last night... though the process from which I came up with it was quite strange as I was thinking how to do a more comprehensive version of "two target creatures exchange power ueot"

This could go monoblack, or black white, and the mana cost and mv restriction could change around, but I'm surprised I've never seen some version of this.

Double Shock
Instant (U)
Deal 2 damage to any target.
Deal 2 damage to any target.
Damn right, and I'll do it again!
'Cause I am right, so I gots to win!
- DMX, X Gon' Give It To Ya

Duel of the Fates
Instant (C)
Exile two target creatures, then return one of them onto the battlefield.

there exists a card that more or less does this but has a much uglier wording

There exist only two cards with delve and X in their cost.

Necrofusion
Instant (C)
Delve
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.

Assembly-Worker
Creature - Assembly-Worker (C)
The brothers toiled in their antagonistic brilliance, minds bound by artifice and torn by competition. Each would mold the machinery to build a nation, and eventually, destroy everything they touched.
2/2

Well the name is taken: Assembly-Worker.

Oof. That really hurts my argument.

Also, shouldn't it be an Artifact Creature?

Cool flavor text, though. And I agree that there should be a drawbackless/vanilla 2/2 for .

It could also be a Walking Atlas callback

A reference within a reference!

Crusader
Creature - Human Knight (C/U)
When this creature enters the battlefield, it deals 3 damage to up to one target tapped creature.
3/3

Gruul Saboteur

Creature - Goblin Rogue Shaman
Whenever a player adds mana from a nonland source, Gruul Saboteur deals 1 damage to that player
"Simple savages? All the experiments either can't be turned on or can't be turned off and everything is on fire! Find who did this!" - Mizzix of the Izmagnus
2/1

Persistent Request
Instant (U)
Counter target spell unless it's controller pays , the next spell that player casts this turn costs more to cast.

Flash Freeze
Sorcery
Tap each creature target player controls.