Blademaster of the Hidden Flame —
Creature — Ogre Samurai (U)
Trample
X-strike (This creature assigns combat damage equal to its combined power and toughness.)
4/4

Fattening Sheep-
Creature-Sheep
Yearling 1 (At the beginning of your next upkeep after this creature enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on it and it becomes mature.)
When Fattening Sheep dies, if it was mature, gain 3 life.
"Ol' Bessa's been with this family 8 winters now. 'Fraid we'll have to say goodbye soon, but I can't say I'll mind the mutton."~Farmer Tonnybrook
1/1

Stormcloud Elemental —
Creature — Elemental
Flying
: Target creature can't block this turn.
: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.
Zephyr (You may cast this creature any time you could cast an instant for its zephyr cost. If you do, it gains defender and haste. Return it to your hand at end of turn.)
4/3

Shellshock
Instant
Shellshock deals 3 damage to target creature.
Aftershock - Shellshock deals 5 damage to target creature instead if you casted a spell with converted mana cost 5 or less this turn.

Thunderstriker

Creature -- Human Berserker (C)
Haste
Berserk (Whenever this creature attacks, you may double its power. If you do, sacrifice it at end of turn.)
"Be as the Immersturm! Strike fast, show no mercy, and live forever!"
2/2

Heroic Stand
Instant (U)
Untap target creature. It gains indestructible until end of turn and can block any number of creatures this turn.
Compromise (You may cast this spell for its compromise cost. If you do, each opponent copies it and may choose new targets for the copy.)

Renown Healer
Creature - Human Cleric (C)
When Renown Healer enters the battlefield, you may dedicate another untapped creature you control to it. If you do, you gain 5 life. (Tap that creature. It doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control this.)
"Come, my child, and feel the blessings of the gods."
1/4

Copperhide Ceradon —
Creature — Dinosaur
Electric spells you cast can't be countered. (Instants, creatures with haste, and permanents with flash are electric.)
3/2

Batching keyword jacked from BelangiaJo's card here.

The Twins of Treng Peak
Sorcery
Folklore - Create two 3/3 green Beast creature tokens. If a card named The Twins of Treng Peak is in your graveyard, those creature tokens enter the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on them.

Booger Launcher |
Instant | {C}
Booger Launcher deals 1 damage to any target. If it's a creature, gunk it. (A gunked creature has 0 power and can't activate abilities until its controller's next turn.)

Which, in turn was jacked from real life.

Spiteful Assassin

Creature -- Human Assassin (C)
Deathtouch
Hatred (You may pay 2 life as you cast this spell. If you do, it enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
2/2

Incite - Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under you control, <ability>.

Judgment Bar —
Enchantment (R)
As Judgment Bar enters the battlefield, choose justice or mercy.

• Justice — If a nonwhite creature would die, exile it instead.
• Mercy — Whenever a white nontoken creature dies, you may pay . If you do, return it to its owner's hand.

Kerosene Idol
Artifact
Whenever Kerosene Idol becomes tapped, it deals 2 damage to target creature.
Kindle - : Kerosene Idol becomes a 2/1 red Construct artifact creature until end of turn.

Betrayer Sphinx
Artifact Creature - Sphinx
Flying
When Betrayer Sphinx enters the battlefield, you may pay . If you do, you gain a lie counter.
4/5
Malfegor killed nearly every sphinx of Esper - some joined his side in fulfilled hopes of being spared.

A lie counter is intended to be able to be expended to ignore a predicate regarding a card you own or a permanent you control when determining spell or ability legality. This is however a terrible idea since the first thing I can think of is using Evolving Wilds to fetch a nonland card onto the battlefield, and that's not something I want to permit, so... maybe limit it to permanents on the battlefield only? Eh, I don't know right now.

Delnok, the Sewer King
Creature - Rat Rogue (R)
Menace
Other misfits you control get +1/+1 and have menace. (Cowards, nomads, deserters, rebels, rogues, and weirds are misfits.)
"You have been outcast because they deem you a nuisance to society. I say we show them just how menacing we can be."
2/3

Back —
Instant
Return target creature to its owner's hand.
~~~
Normal —
Aftermath
Normalize target creature. (It loses all abilities except those that set its power or toughness.)

Pinch
Instant (C)
Pinch target creature. (Pinch deals 1 damage to that creature. Untap it.)
"WAKE UP!!!"

Journeyman Knight

Creature -- Human Knight (U)
First strike
Quest — Reward: Put a +1/+1 counter on Journeyman Knight (Whenever this creature attacks, you may send it on a Quest. If you do, instead of dealing combat damage to a player this turn, you gain its Reward.)
2/2